My most dreaded time of the year is approaching. A day to make single and lovesick people feel terrible about themselves. How does everyone else handle it being single?

I spend day with hobbies that make me happy, and eagerly wait for chocolate discounts.

I do the same things I do every day.

rupikonna said:
I spend day with hobbies that make he happy, and eagerly wait for chocolate discounts.

The after holiday discounts are wonderful for easter and christmas too

Valentine's day should be about all kinds of love! Spend the day with friends and other loved ones :)

I become depressed and feast on a mountain of chocolates in virginity and sadness

yeeeagler said:
I become depressed and feast on a mountain of chocolates in virginity and sadness

Same here. I'm a 36 year old virgin and I eat my feelings.

lonewolf36 said:
Same here. I'm a 36 year old virgin and I eat my feelings.

I already like u man im in my early 20s but i can relate

yeeeagler said:
I already like u man im in my early 20s but i can relate

I used to think I had it bad in my early 20s, but in reality, being a virgin at that age is nothing unusual. However for someone as old as me, it's much less common.

lonewolf36 said:
I used to think I had it bad in my early 20s, but in reality, being a virgin at that age is nothing unusual. However for someone as old as me, it's much less common.

well that gave some hope and i thank you for that... never thought that i even had a sliver of a chance for people to like me

yeeeagler said:
well that gave some hope and i thank you for that... never thought that i even had a sliver of a chance for people to like me

Sorry if that was too much

yeeeagler said:
Sorry if that was too much

No it wasn't too much, and you're welcome. Not everyone finds someone in their teens. Stay outside snd socialize. I'm becoming more extroverted now since I've already pissed away most of my adult life.

lonewolf36 said:
No it wasn't too much, and you're welcome. Not everyone finds someone in their teens. Stay outside snd socialize. I'm becoming more extroverted now since I've already pissed away most of my adult life.

Thanks for the tip, and i hope you find someone for you to love

lonewolf36 said:
My most dreaded time of the year is approaching. A day to make single and lovesick people feel terrible about themselves. How does everyone else handle it being single?

As someone who is single and has had a bad dating experience I just treat the day like any other. I figured that since I don’t have someone the holiday doesn’t affect me, or maybe I’m just bitter

Buy yourself a treat; don't have to share. Twice as much joy!

No but seriously, the day isn't guaranteed good or bad for anyone.

If you want a relationship, then take life steps and goals to create that result. That's true about any day really.

If you're in a relationship, then don't let the pressure or the holiday distract you from the person you have... who is still just a person and could be having a good or bad or tired or weird day that day. Sometimes the big holidays make it worse if you focus on the commercialized expectations around it...instead of the flawed and actually real person that you are sharing things with. I actually think anyone who is in a relationship on Valentine's Day has it much harder. I've seen so many relationships go through a hard patch or even new relationships fall apart because of it. It's symbolic of everything about love, so it's fun to think about. But the reality of actually dating + Valentine's Day can be pretty brutal sometimes. So if you're in one, then just focus on the real parts of the relationship and have a bit of fun together. I think long term established relationships have the advantage here.

If you're not in a relationship, then that's just a Friday to you. Enjoy your Friday! That's it. And that's all it has to be.

And wherever you are, have a good day. And have some chocolate, because why waste a perfectly good excuse to enjoy some chocolate? That's the real tragedy.

lonewolf36 said:
My most dreaded time of the year is approaching. A day to make single and lovesick people feel terrible about themselves. How does everyone else handle it being single?

Thankfully I'm immune to this shit and am grateful I'm not in a relationship.

Have no valentine? Be your own valentine. Self-love is important.

post #3624563

lonewolf36 said:
Same here. I'm a 36 year old virgin and I eat my feelings.

37
I've been able to cope because the line of work I do involves me meeting new people and actually getting to know them and from my experience with all of them I assume everyone is stupid
I might be on my high horse now but oh my gosh most of these people literally don't even know how to change a light bulb or flip a switch
you can do your exercising, makeups, and plastic surgery to look stunning but I cannot stand the stupid
I might be alone till my last breath but if I find someone I can at least tolerate I will try my shot. I've already done it once and it didn't hurt when I finally learned they were spoken for.
so all in all from my perspective, don't worry, being single can save you a world of headaches

lonewolf36 said:
My most dreaded time of the year is approaching. A day to make single and lovesick people feel terrible about themselves. How does everyone else handle it being single?

It's a day like any other. It's much easier to ignore than say...Christmas...which goes on and on and on.....

Valentine's Day is not for the lonely. We get to have every other day.

Joke aside, it's an easy day to not pay attention to. At least from what I've seen, less and less people take it seriously every year. (Though that could just be my relatively isolated perspective talking.)

lendrimujina said:
Valentine's Day is not for the lonely. We get to have every other day.

Joke aside, it's an easy day to not pay attention to. At least from what I've seen, less and less people take it seriously every year. (Though that could just be my relatively isolated perspective talking.)

I think that's true. It's a very corporatized and optional thing. More so than other holidays. There is no "getting together to celebrate with friends" or "spending time with the family" like there is with things like christmas. No communal or social aspect. Even the response from companies is tepid compared to other holidays. Only places you'll find people truly caring are those focusing on relationships(like a dating subreddit) or websites with a financial incentive.

I sleep all day then head off to work for my 12 hour night shift.

Well, I'm, quite frankly, dreading it as well. Most likely, I'll do whatever I usually do: Wish my family a happy Valentine's Day, watch some YT and maybe play a game or two, chat with friends. Anything that can get my mind off of the negatives.

But who knows? Maybe something better will happen as well. You can never be too sure, sometimes luck can be on your side at even the strangest of times.

talk1ng-sheep1sh said:
Well, I'm, quite frankly, dreading it as well. Most likely, I'll do whatever I usually do: Wish my family a happy Valentine's Day, watch some YT and maybe play a game or two, chat with friends. Anything that can get my mind off of the negatives.

But who knows? Maybe something better will happen as well. You can never be too sure, sometimes luck can be on your side at even the strangest of times.

Years ago, I would stay far away from social media as well as TV as it was like salt in my wounds. I mean, my coworkers all made it feel a little better when they all said they don't celebrate it with their wives. It still stings me every year.

lonewolf36 said:
Years ago, I would stay far away from social media as well as TV as it was like salt in my wounds. I mean, my coworkers all made it feel a little better when they all said they don't celebrate it with their wives. It still stings me every year.

Hey bro, you will find someone soon. That’s in the prophecy. Then you will have to change that fire name though

skoomar_the_second said:
Hey bro, you will find someone soon. That’s in the prophecy. Then you will have to change that fire name though

Sometimes I go by lonely wolf, but yeah

Perhaps a silly answer, but I usually draw my sona enjoying their fake relationship, as I myself lack a "real" one. I've fully accepted that I'm a virgin, and that the fact I'm a virgin will never change, but I'm okay with that, especially compared to the other side of things where I would be in a poor relationship with someone who isn't reliable. With fake boyfriends, you can just shape them into being your perfect everything, and I have also fully accepted that although he isn't real to anyone else, he's still real to me.

seraphfallen said:
Perhaps a silly answer, but I usually draw my sona enjoying their fake relationship, as I myself lack a "real" one. I've fully accepted that I'm a virgin, and that the fact I'm a virgin will never change, but I'm okay with that, especially compared to the other side of things where I would be in a poor relationship with someone who isn't reliable. With fake boyfriends, you can just shape them into being your perfect everything, and I have also fully accepted that although he isn't real to anyone else, he's still real to me.

How I would love to just accept that I'm a virgin and be comfortable in my own skin. I just can't. I always feel like a black sheep. Truth be told, the notion of being like this for the rest of my life scares me.

lonewolf36 said:
How I would love to just accept that I'm a virgin and be comfortable in my own skin. I just can't. I always feel like a black sheep. Truth be told, the notion of being like this for the rest of my life scares me.

And it definitely stressed me out too, especially when I was younger and in my teens. I even would lie about having sex all the time, and used my knowledge of porn to explain different types of sex to justify that I really do have sex even though I still never have. Perhaps at another point in my life I would feel differently, as I do really want to have kids and do the whole nuclear family one day, but for now I am at peace with living a lie. Perhaps if I find financial stability to the point where I can buy a proper house, rather than rent a studio apartment, things will be different, but as of the moment the only thing really happening around here is hook up culture, something I don't want to part take in. I get that it would be an easy way to stop being a virgin, but I'm more than just a sex doll, and don't want to lose my virginity to someone who just sleeps around without a care for the people they sleep with, you know?

seraphfallen said:
And it definitely stressed me out too, especially when I was younger and in my teens. I even would lie about having sex all the time, and used my knowledge of porn to explain different types of sex to justify that I really do have sex even though I still never have. Perhaps at another point in my life I would feel differently, as I do really want to have kids and do the whole nuclear family one day, but for now I am at peace with living a lie. Perhaps if I find financial stability to the point where I can buy a proper house, rather than rent a studio apartment, things will be different, but as of the moment the only thing really happening around here is hook up culture, something I don't want to part take in. I get that it would be an easy way to stop being a virgin, but I'm more than just a sex doll, and don't want to lose my virginity to someone who just sleeps around without a care for the people they sleep with, you know?

I honestly can't sleep around. I'm demisexual. And I'm not even sure if I want kids. I guess it depends on who it's with

lonewolf36 said:
I honestly can't sleep around. I'm demisexual. And I'm not even sure if I want kids. I guess it depends on who it's with

That's a fair point too, the kids thing. Some people aren't meant to raise kids. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship with someone who already has kids if the kids are in fact "good kids".

I'm demisexual ish myself (although more commonly I just say asexual because I've never really had proper attraction to people outside of their fursonas and stuff, which probably sounds silly, but that might also just be tied to demisexuality, idk).

seraphfallen said:
That's a fair point too, the kids thing. Some people aren't meant to raise kids. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship with someone who already has kids if the kids are in fact "good kids".

I'm demisexual ish myself (although more commonly I just say asexual because I've never really had proper attraction to people outside of their fursonas and stuff, which probably sounds silly, but that might also just be tied to demisexuality, idk).

I guess some people would call me asexual as falling for someone is quite difficult for me. But in reality, I'm far from it.

seraphfallen said:
That's a fair point too, the kids thing. Some people aren't meant to raise kids. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship with someone who already has kids if the kids are in fact "good kids".

I'm demisexual ish myself (although more commonly I just say asexual because I've never really had proper attraction to people outside of their fursonas and stuff, which probably sounds silly, but that might also just be tied to demisexuality, idk).

I'm sure it's unlikely for me to meet a woman on here, like I had zero luck elsewhere, but it's a place where I can hang out at least.

seraphfallen said:
Perhaps a silly answer, but I usually draw my sona enjoying their fake relationship, as I myself lack a "real" one. I've fully accepted that I'm a virgin, and that the fact I'm a virgin will never change, but I'm okay with that, especially compared to the other side of things where I would be in a poor relationship with someone who isn't reliable. With fake boyfriends, you can just shape them into being your perfect everything, and I have also fully accepted that although he isn't real to anyone else, he's still real to me.

That kind of makes me think of plushophilia, where a plushie can be a fake boyfriend/girlfriend. Though, you're making art, an actual hobby, so that's pretty cool.

lonewolf36 said:
How I would love to just accept that I'm a virgin and be comfortable in my own skin. I just can't. I always feel like a black sheep. Truth be told, the notion of being like this for the rest of my life scares me.

As much of a sucker as I am for stories about True Love, it doesn't find everyone (like me, for example). As some sage advice from someone else: love yourself first and accept whom you are. ^_^

crocogator said:
That kind of makes me think of plushophilia, where a plushie can be a fake boyfriend/girlfriend. Though, you're making art, an actual hobby, so that's pretty cool.

Admittedly I do have a "life partner" in the form of a Webkinz penguin I've slept with every night for the past.. 17 years now? Just about. Nothing sexual on that end, though. He does look a bit worse for wear, but trust! Nothing sexual has befallen him lol. I would 100% be lost though if I did lose him as a plushie, since we've "been together" for so long. Even the idea of being separated for one night is stressful enough!

lonewolf36 said:
My most dreaded time of the year is approaching. A day to make single and lovesick people feel terrible about themselves. How does everyone else handle it being single?

Look forward to discounted chocolate on the 15th.

indigohowl said:
As much of a sucker as I am for stories about True Love, it doesn't find everyone (like me, for example). As some sage advice from someone else: love yourself first and accept whom you are. ^_^

I hear that all the time, but it's easier said than done

lonewolf36 said:
I hear that all the time, but it's easier said than done

Believe me...I KNOW..... -.-

HARK! Thou must love thyself before seeking a partner. Love yourself as you would love them and thou shalt find what thou seeks. Love is many things, but it must come from within yourself. The best way to get love within thou is to love thyself. Then projections of that love can flutter their way to the right one.

skoomar_the_second said:
HARK! Thou must love thyself before seeking a partner. Love yourself as you would love them and thou shalt find what thou seeks. Love is many things, but it must come from within yourself. The best way to get love within thou is to love thyself. Then projections of that love can flutter their way to the right one.

I refuse to try anymore. I've been trying so hard for the last 15 years, all leading nowhere. Just last year, I felt like I was on the verge of a stress induced heart attack. Nope. They will have to find me.

lonewolf36 said:
I refuse to try anymore. I've been trying so hard for the last 15 years, all leading nowhere. Just last year, I felt like I was on the verge of a stress induced heart attack. Nope. They will have to find me.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Or to put it another way, the harder you try, the harder you block the very things you want to have happen. By letting go, being satisfied with how and what you are now, you free up the flow of your energy to let things you want or need come to you.

It's like searching for an item you've mislaid. It's not where it's supposed to be. It's not in any of the places where you think it could be, no matter how stupid or weird. You tear apart your home looking for this item, but you can't find it. So, you stop looking for it. You go do other things. You let it go. Then you unexpectedly find it in the one place you hadn't thought to look, But as you think about it, you realize it makes sense. Perhaps you remember putting it there or can deduce why you'd put it there. But all that frustrated searching with its tunnel-visioned, impatient focus on where you thought it should be blinded you to seeing it where it is all along.

So it is with l'amour. Let go of the search for it, and you open up your mind to seeing it when it happens, be it tomorrow, next month, or years from now. In the meantime, focusing on loving yourself and critically examining the thoughts and emotions behind the things you dislike about yourself let you not just be satisfied with yourself until then, but to also be more lovable and attractive when the time does come.

clawstripe said:
Do or do not. There is no try.

Or to put it another way, the harder you try, the harder you block the very things you want to have happen. By letting go, being satisfied with how and what you are now, you free up the flow of your energy to let things you want or need come to you.

It's like searching for an item you've mislaid. It's not where it's supposed to be. It's not in any of the places where you think it could be, no matter how stupid or weird. You tear apart your home looking for this item, but you can't find it. So, you stop looking for it. You go do other things. You let it go. Then you unexpectedly find it in the one place you hadn't thought to look, But as you think about it, you realize it makes sense. Perhaps you remember putting it there or can deduce why you'd put it there. But all that frustrated searching with its tunnel-visioned, impatient focus on where you thought it should be blinded you to seeing it where it is all along.

So it is with l'amour. Let go of the search for it, and you open up your mind to seeing it when it happens, be it tomorrow, next month, or years from now. In the meantime, focusing on loving yourself and critically examining the thoughts and emotions behind the things you dislike about yourself let you not just be satisfied with yourself until then, but to also be more lovable and attractive when the time does come.

That's....quite a philosophical way to explain it. Wow. I had become so obsessed over getting laid or finding love and I wanted it so badly since I pissed away my adult life and I've been trying to make the torment stop. I'm in therapy, but I struggle to feel comfortable with my current life.

lonewolf36 said:
...since I pissed away my adult life...

Nah, you didn't piss it away. You've just been trying to find out who you are, the same journey we're all on throughout our lives. The problem is that there's no user's guide or roadmap to give us any help as we stumble about in the dark. Some people take it in stride and others find it intimidating. There is no wrong way to stumble.

I'm in therapy...

Good! That means you're taking control of your life instead of festering in your juices. I honestly hope you work things out and feel better. May the love of your life be more than you hoped they would be.

lonewolf36 said:
My most dreaded time of the year is approaching. A day to make single and lovesick people feel terrible about themselves. How does everyone else handle it being single?

On Valentine's Day? Avoidance. I plan to just stay away from places I could encounter boyfriends and stay out of the communities I interact with online. Probably gonna partake in my hobbies instead. Though, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one with my struggle.

On any other day? I can't really control it, it consumes me and I end up not doing many of the things I would otherwise want to, and on top of that it holds me back hard socially. As such I avoid making new friends in case they're in a relationship, and passively ignore couples talking to me.

mklxiv said:
On Valentine's Day? Avoidance. I plan to just stay away from places I could encounter boyfriends and stay out of the communities I interact with online. Probably gonna partake in my hobbies instead. Though, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one with my struggle.

On any other day? I can't really control it, it consumes me and I end up not doing many of the things I would otherwise want to, and on top of that it holds me back hard socially. As such I avoid making new friends in case they're in a relationship, and passively ignore couples talking to me.

I'm forcing myself to get out of the house and do something on my days off from work. But I swear, couples and their public displays of affection makes me want to puke. Not just during this time of year. Taking the train into the city is my main way to force myself into social situations, yet I freeze up when I want to try and initiate a conversation.

lonewolf36 said:
I'm forcing myself to get out of the house and do something on my days off from work. But I swear, couples and their public displays of affection makes me want to puke. Not just during this time of year. Taking the train into the city is my main way to force myself into social situations, yet I freeze up when I want to try and initiate a conversation.

It doesn't even make me sick, it just makes me very sad and angry. I can't stand being around people in relationships (not just IRL but also online) because I know I'll never have the happiness they do, and they get to laugh at me as I've been robbed of that joy forever. Valentines Day is the absolute worst for that, they're everywhere- I live in a rural area so not many people are around here, but even seeing people yap about their boyfriends online sends me into despair. I swear taken peoples' presence mocks me viciously.

mklxiv said:
I'll never have the happiness they do

How do you know that they're happy? People act differently out in public.

mklxiv said:
It doesn't even make me sick, it just makes me very sad and angry. I can't stand being around people in relationships (not just IRL but also online) because I know I'll never have the happiness they do, and they get to laugh at me as I've been robbed of that joy forever. Valentines Day is the absolute worst for that, they're everywhere- I live in a rural area so not many people are around here, but even seeing people yap about their boyfriends online sends me into despair. I swear taken peoples' presence mocks me viciously.

Oh trust me, my days on Facebook and Reddit have already done that to me

mklxiv said:
I know I'll never have the happiness they do, and they get to laugh at me as I've been robbed of that joy forever.

Damn with a statement like that you must be 95 and on your deathbed and still make time to visit e6.

regsmutt said:
Damn with a statement like that you must be 95 and on your deathbed and still make time to visit e6.

I am 28 but every gay furry is dating by 24, soooooooooooooo

mklxiv said:
I am 28 but every gay furry is dating by 24, soooooooooooooo

And? There's plenty of guys 30, 40, 50+ out there pulling. Age doesn't make people ineligible for dating. That's incel crab-bucket bullshit. Fact is there are very few deadlines (other than, ya know, dying) for when you're 'supposed' to do things that mean there's no hope after that point.

regsmutt said:
And? There's plenty of guys 30, 40, 50+ out there pulling. Age doesn't make people ineligible for dating. That's incel crab-bucket bullshit. Fact is there are very few deadlines (other than, ya know, dying) for when you're 'supposed' to do things that mean there's no hope after that point.

So the only deadline is the dead line?

bro it's literally like any other random day
I hadn't even remembered about it until I saw this post
not sure why people make such a huge deal out of it

About that day. I don't even know exactly the day when it is celebrated. Don't care that much.
About mental health. I have something like passive mental health regeneration, where I don't need to do something special. When I stop thinking and care about everything, mental health recovers from bad thoughts to neutral, calmly state. So negative psychological debuff goes away.

Peeps may only talk about the Eros on Val's day, but don't forget the other types, Dood
A little cheese but I "love" the day since the day is all about the kindness! ◠‿╹)~★

Whether it's Storge (Family)
post #4303433

Philia (Friends)
post #5355472

or some very general Agape (Kindness).
post #5168188

The day isn't just about eros, but just
love in general. Anyone can be your Val's
on this kindest day of the year by just
shaving something small as a complicate
on their awesome choice of profile pic, Dood!
◠‿◠)

_{Also Romance has no deadline,
Live free and have fun, Dood! ◠‿╹)~★}

The unfortunate reality is that I can't function normally until I'm in a happy and healthy relationship and having a sex life. I'm unable to make my own happiness.

lonewolf36 said:
The unfortunate reality is that I can't function normally until I'm in a happy and healthy relationship and having a sex life. I'm unable to make my own happiness.

uh oh,
Guy, I can't say this enough.

Don't. Expect. A. Relationship. To. Fix. You.

A relationship/sex life isn't a solution, It's an addition.
It isn't a magical spell that fixes general unhappiness in
life, it's just a peep finding a peep to be peeps with, Dood.

I promise I'm not trying to be a butt, just the mindset of
"I'm not happy unless I'm with someone." leads to toxic
Relationships with completely messy dynamics. Like bad
peeps, REALLY bad peeps look for other peeps thinking
that way to exploit them for money, material and more.
Twisting the blade with horrible comments like:
"I'm the only one that will take you!" when you want
out of anything bad they do to you, Dood.

Peep, you're an individual and I'm just words on a screen
but please take care of yourself. working on yourself
leads to not only friends but a brighter road ahead!
Widen your mindset and open your heart, It won't
be easy facing all that but I believe in you, Dood!
╹‿╹)~★

notkastar said:
uh oh,
Guy, I can't say this enough.

Don't. Expect. A. Relationship. To. Fix. You.

I 110% agree with this statement.

notkastar said:
uh oh,
Guy, I can't say this enough.

Don't. Expect. A. Relationship. To. Fix. You.

A relationship/sex life isn't a solution, It's an addition.
It isn't a magical spell that fixes general unhappiness in
life, it's just a peep finding a peep to be peeps with, Dood.

I promise I'm not trying to be a butt, just the mindset of
"I'm not happy unless I'm with someone." leads to toxic
Relationships with completely messy dynamics. Like bad
peeps, REALLY bad peeps look for other peeps thinking
that way to exploit them for money, material and more.
Twisting the blade with horrible comments like:
"I'm the only one that will take you!" when you want
out of anything bad they do to you, Dood.

Peep, you're an individual and I'm just words on a screen
but please take care of yourself. working on yourself
leads to not only friends but a brighter road ahead!
Widen your mindset and open your heart, It won't
be easy facing all that but I believe in you, Dood!
╹‿╹)~★

I'm not like this all year long. I have that whole 'seasonal depression' thing, and the colder it is, the shittier I feel. It's it's been too cold for too long. Come springtime, I'm in a more relaxed mood

lonewolf36 said:
I'm not like this all year long. I have that whole 'seasonal depression' thing, and the colder it is, the shittier I feel. It's it's been too cold for too long. Come springtime, I'm in a more relaxed mood

have you tried a light therapy box? might help you, i picked one up when i was younger, although oddly i have seasonal depression in summer.

manitka said:
have you tried a light therapy box? might help you, i picked one up when i was younger, although oddly i have seasonal depression in summer.

No, but I've been getting into binaural beats and white noise videos on YouTube. I've just been falling behind

If you are struggling with mental health issues it is strongly recommended that you consult a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist. Talking to random people on the internet (like myself) can only go so far and most of us are probably not qualified to give this kind of advice.

gattonero2001 said:
If you are struggling with mental health issues it is strongly recommended that you consult a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist. Talking to random people on the internet (like myself) can only go so far and most of us are probably not qualified to give this kind of advice.

I get it now. I'm taking this a bit too far. It's just most of the time, I struggle to find the silver lining within my problems