"D-Daniel?" I stuttered, shaking slightly.

"That's my name, yes," he pushed the door open further. "Come on, get in."

I was nudged inside, Daniel closing the door behind him. He broke off from there to sit on the edge of my bed, his fingers wrapped around his chin as though looking for how to word something. I just stood there, unsure of what to do, and stared at him.

"You wanted to know why I was in your room, and particularly your bed this morning, right?" he asked. "Sorry I didn't get to that earlier. I know you've been worried about it all day but I figured you'd want this to be a private matter."

"...Well, you're not wrong about that, I guess," I replied, scratching my head as my ears sunk.

"Look," he sighed, "I was in your bed because I was tryin' to get you to bed from your desk. You had a lot of alcohol for not only someone your size, but for that wine's concentration and in a very short amount of time."

"...'To bed?'"

"...Reverend, don't be weird. You went too far, too fast, and ya passed out. All I was trying to do was get you from 'asleep at your desk' to 'asleep in your bed' so you could get a decent rest. I swear to you that is all."

"Then why were you in my bed? And with me in it?"

"You wouldn't get off me when I was trying to lay ya down for the night. I didn't really have a choice."

"I...I what?"

"Here's where it's gonna get strange," he exhaled, "and please forgive all of this, but you were...quite hysterical, and not in the funny way. The thing about alcohol is it loosens one's inhibitions, and you...you have a lot you keep bottled up inside. Some of that, well, started to come out, and it was heavy. Very, very heavy."

Everything in me tightened like I got struck by lightning. I couldn't remember anything. What did I say? What did I do? What did--

"...And I said it before and I'll say it again, that nothing loose or questionable happened between us last night," Daniel reassured. "I know you're worried about it, but surely you noticed that you woke up in the same condition as you were in when you went to sleep, maybe minus the wet hair and face. Alcohol can make people sweat, so that's not unusual."

I started to pull at my hair, unable to face the man sitting on my bed.

"I truly just wanted to get you to bed for a decent sleep, but every time I tried to lay ya down you clung to me like a monkey," he said, his own ears slunk low. "I was tired, too, from Riv's illness and not eating or sleeping much these past few days and I just didn't want to fight with you on this. Honestly it...seemed like something you needed, and while I get it's awkward and weird I just wanted to comfort you. You were very distraught and cryin' real hard, and that with your clinging I don't think I could leave ya by your lonesome in good conscience."

"...What...What did I say?" I asked, strained and pulling on my hair.

"...Before I get into that, I'd like to ask ya somethin' real personal," he said, looking away. "You're free to decline, but I'd really rather ya not."

I wrapped my fingers tightly around my hair and quietly whined, bracing for the worst.

"Do you...like being held?" Daniel asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

I wasn't sure how to respond, cowering and taking a step back.

"Reverend, please, I'm not asking this to upset or insult you, I promise," he tried to assure me. "Please don't shy away, I'm trying to help you."

I crossed my arms over my front, squeezing my small brachia. I didn't know how to answer and I wasn't sure if I should even try. What would it matter either way?

"Please?" he asked again.

For the first time in a long time I noticed the tears welling up and beginning their trails down my cheeks. I never wanted anyone to know me beyond my job, just preferring to blend into the wall as much as possible. Unfortunately I was put in a situation where that luxury no longer existed, and should I claw for it again I'd only alienate the people I care about.

...I hated this.

"...I'm sorry, forget I ask--"

"I do," I whispered.

"...Pardon?" he asked, not having heard me.

"...I do...like being held," I whispered again, a little louder.

From my periphery I could see Daniel tilt his head before looking down to how he sat, then pushing himself farther back on the mattress. He sat with his legs open in a crescent shape.

"...Did you maybe...want to try?" he asked.

Confused, I looked back to face him, slowly turning my head to see his arrangement. He looked to me with a cautious smile and his ears dropped low, probably the only time I'd seen him look nervous. I dug my nails into my cheek, unsure of how to respond and just looking around the room aimlessly.

"If you'd rather not, I'd understand, but I really wouldn't mind," he quietly said. "...I just wanna help ya. I know, it's weird, but after how you were last night it got me wondering."

"I-I don't know if I can...do something like that," I said, tense and stiff.

"It ain't gotta mean anything, ya know. I'm just tryin'a help, and last night you were stuck to me like you hadn't been hugged in years."

"Did...Did you...h-hold me last night?"

"I did, for prob'ly about a half hour before puttin' ya to bed. I wanted to comfort ya and with how glued ya were you must've really needed it. Ya stuck to me all night, too, so even your subconscious seems to agree."

"...I'm sorry for--"

"Please...just please don't apologize for something like that. I know it's weird to think too much about, but I didn't really mind it any. I grew up with a lotta sisters so a lot of this is, well, pretty normal."

"...Th-This isn't what you bargained for with your hire."

"D'you...really think this is just about a job?" he asked, head tilted. "Just about money?"

I slowly looked back to him.

"I care about ya, both you and your kid," he affirmed. "This isn't just about a job, that's sorta a nice bonus is all. I truly give a damn about the two'a ya. Maybe ya don't feel how I do, but having had to move so much with my work I never really sat in one place too much to make any meaningful relationships. For a long time I tried to not to let it bother me, but it did. A lot."

"I...don't understand," I uttered from my distance.

"You're my best friend and I just wanna help ya."

I wrapped my tail around my legs, felt put on the spot as a chill of nerves crept down my spine and tightened around my heart. There were people I got along with, people I felt I could trust, but I don't think anyone said anything about my being their friend...let alone their best.

"...This isn't the...kind of things men do," I quietly said, tugging at my sleeve. "I shouldn't..."

"Everyone has feelings, Reverend," Daniel said, an odd tone of concern in his voice. "Being sad or lonely doesn't make you weak, doesn't make you less of what you are. Emotions know no gender. I'm sorry if anyone told you otherwise."

"...I don't know."

"Would you tell me I'm less of what I am if I got sad and started cryin'?" he asked. "Maybe if I said I was lonely for never having had a partner or even meaningful, lasting friendships?"

"No, of course not!" I exclaimed. "But you're...you're--"

"A large guy with a deep voice and the dialect of the unintelligent," he said flatly. "And you're a small, wiry little shit with big pretty doe eyes and a kind, soft voice. You're still just as much of a man as I am, tears and hurt and all."

I continued to stand there, terrified of moving beyond my square foot of space. This was such a strange, awkward situation to be in and I never would have -- or could have -- seen this coming.

"Please, just let me try," he said, unusually melancholic. "I can...come over and get ya if you'd prefer, but...I'd rather you come to me for this."

I'm not sure what came over me but after a short time my feet started moving, carrying me to the bed. I still could hardly look at him, too confused and afraid of how he or anyone else truly perceived this. He had no reason to lie, but working against thirty-some years of the contrary would be incredibly difficult. I stood at the edge of the bed, unsure where to go from here.

"Hey there," Daniel softly said. "I'm not gonna hurt ya. You can join me."

With reluctance I turned and sat on the edge, pushing myself back just a bit. I still tightly gripped my opposite sleeves, my nails digging into my arms.

"You can come closer, I won't bite ya," he continued. "Please give me a chance."

I was stiff and terrified, my back hunched and fur standing on end. I don't think I could move any further no matter how much I wanted to or not...and I wasn't sure how much I wanted to.

"...If I come closer to you, will you be okay with that?" he asked, keeping his voice low. "If you won't, please tell me and I won't push this further."

"...I'm...okay with...that," was all I could muster.

"Are you sure?"

"...I'm...sure."

From behind me was the noise of shuffling clothes and bedsheets as the much larger man drew near, sitting behind me. Daniel's legs closed in around mine and his arms came around my ribs, his hands freeing mine from my sleeves. He gently pulled me closer against his front. My ears raked back harshly and my tail nervously swished beside me. It took all I had to stay put.

"I promise I'll never hurt you, Reverend," he said, low and breathy. "I'm not doing this for my jollies, I just want you to feel safe and cared for. Please just...try to relax a little, don't claw at your arms and face like this."

My ears picked up a sting of pain in his voice, but I couldn't turn around to see for sure. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe, but having something...someone against my back again was scary, even if on friendly terms. Still, I...trusted him with this vulnerability, more so than I might with anyone else but Riv.

I felt an arm reach under my legs and around my back, my eyes shooting open as I gasped. Daniel twisted me around to sit sideways instead, putting his arm around my back and side.

"You don't like things against your back, so maybe this is better for you," he gently said. "I hope this isn't too bothersome for you. I really don't mind."

I couldn't really find any words, but felt myself slowly leaning toward him and resting my head against his collarbone as I continued hugging my front. He hugged his big arms around me, holding me close to his core. For a moment we sat in silence, his snout resting against my head. This was...oddly the safest I'd felt in years. It was strange, it was awkward, but...I needed this.

...I...needed this.

"Reverend, there's something I'd like to know if you don't mind my asking," Daniel said, breaking the silence.

"...Hm?"

"Who...is Esmé?" he asked. "I don't mean to pry, but...you said that name a lot last night in your stupor and I figured it was someone who meant a lot to ya."

"...She...Esmé was my fiancée," I whispered, already feeling my ears stooping low.

"Was?"

"I...I lived for a while in a town...far north of here," I continued. "I m-met her there, as an inn housekeeper when I needed...some place to stay after my a-arrival."

"I'm listening."

"Sh-She was the first one...to treat me as a person. Esmé was a beautiful...shy thing, who would push out of her comfort zone...to help me, even when there was nothing I could give in return. She helped me a lot, out of my corruption...and we were together for o...over ten years."

"I'm still listening."

"We...wanted a family, but I..."

"Hm?"

"...We saved our money to run a foster home, like this one, to take in those the world didn't want. Though we...wanted to get married, the home was our priority."

"That's understandable."

"But the longer we were there...the more some...certain groups took hold, ousting the pure types and pushing them south."

"I'm still here."

"Esmé...didn't want to leave. It was her home...and she'd never lived anywhere else. Once so shy, now so stubborn...and it..."

"...Yes?"

"...It cost her, her life...at the hands of those groups. I-I came home to...find her lifeless on the floor."

"...I'm very sorry."

"--To find th-the only one I ever l-loved...a-and the only one who'd e-ever loved me...just gone, like that."

My body tensed up everywhere as I recalled this painful memory, one I tried so hard to store away in the back of my head. Tears began to pour and my face was hot with frustration, but Daniel just held me close to him, his snout against the back of my head and it softly rubbing between my ears. This was probably the most vulnerable I could be while fully clothed, and yet I was...glad he was here, but I couldn't understand why.

"Is she the one who taught you the song you hummed to Riv?" he asked.

"...Yes," I replied. "Sh-She would hum it to me when..."

"When...?"

"...When she would hold me like this."

"...Well, I'm sorry I can't be Esmé, but I hope what I can still offer is enough of a comfort for you."

"...It is more than enough. I'm s-sorry for...how I am."

Daniel just softly shushed me, rocking back and forth. It had been so long since I was in this position I forgot what it was like, and to feel it again was a very, very potent bittersweet experience.

"I'm sorry I'm a guy and all of this is probably that much weirder for you, Reverend," he said softly. "I promise there's no weirdness or anything here, I just...want to help ya feel better and you seem like the kind of person who really needs this kind of thing."

I thought about it for a moment.

"...I think, honestly, that it's better this way," I responded. "...If you weren't what you are it would...feel like infidelity, somehow. I don't...I don't get that from you."

"Well...if ya say so."

For a long while we both sat there, his large frame wrapped carefully around my small one. He'd reach up one hand to comb through my hair, a feeling I had long forgotten by now and one that was guaranteed to make me sleepy. After a time I began to nod off.

"Did you want to go to bed?" he asked. "It's gettin' late anyway and we're both tired."

"I...suppose so," I yawned.

From there we both parted, standing and stretching. He waved and silently left the room, closing the door behind him. I fidgeted with my sleeve as I looked to the pajamas laid upon my dresser, lost in an odd thought for a moment. Quickly I grabbed them and changed into something not so rigid for sleep, then slipped out of my room. Even with the eyes from the night staff down the hall I continued on my way to Daniel's door. The light was still on and there was the soft shuffling of cotton, so I knocked on the door. He opened the door and looked down to me wearing my pajamas and tugging at my hair.

"Did you...need something?" he asked in his own sleepwear.

"C-Could you...um...could you c-come back?" I anxiously stuttered, trying my best to keep eye contact.

"To your room, or...?"

"Y-Yes...to...to sleep, if possible?"

"...You wanna sleep together?" he asked with a sly grin.

"...Eugh, god, please don't say it like that," I exhaled, furrowing my brow. "You know what I meant."

"I guess?" he scratched his head, looking uneasy. "Are you sure about that?"

"I-I am...sure, yes."

He sighed, turning off the light and closing the door behind him.

"I-If it's strange and y-you'd rather not, you d-don't have to," I assured, shaking and not knowing what I was even doing anymore.

He put his arm behind my back and walked with me back to my room. Once inside I closed the door as he found a place on the large bed. My bed was so laughably big compared to me that sleeping on it just felt lonely, so maybe...this might help. I turned off my overhead light, keeping my desk light on, and lay down near the edge facing outward. He grabbed and pulled the blanket up and over me and started to drift off where he lay.

It didn't take long before I started going the same route, but was startled back awake as a large arm rested over the top of me. It pulled me closer from the edge of the bed, my back against his front. Turning my head his eyes were closed, seemingly already asleep. I turned back and decided to try to relax and get comfortable, though it would take some getting used to someone against my back in a passive manner.

With his arm over me and the end of his snout resting on my head I slowly drifted off to sleep, wrapped in an odd but welcome feeling of security.

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