Description
A Greater Society - Chapter 85: Smile by Ratte
Story
Despite the weight of tonight's outing on my shoulders I found the day moved quickly. Before I knew it noon had already arrived, Daniel and our three children got up from the table and began making their way to the kitchen. The children were first to disappear into the hallway, but Daniel hung back a bit. He turned to face me before taking his leave, a look of irritation plastered upon his face. A few seconds later those big feet would turn toward me, taking the rest of him along to the front of my desk.
I knew where this was going but I couldn't bear to look up at him. He was very perceptive and I didn't want to bring him or anyone else down with me, especially over something like this.
"Reverend, please," he said from above me. "You need to eat."
"...I'm not hungry," I whispered, my gaze turning from my clock back to my work.
"I'm not askin' you, I'm tellin' you-- you need to eat," he retorted. "I'm well aware that somethin's goin' on but ya can't just let yourself waste away like this."
I couldn't respond, but I could feel the start of tears pooling under my bottom eyelids. It was so, so hard to stay quiet about all of this, especially when he was so stern. I knew it wasn't because he was angry -- that just wasn't the kind of person he was -- but that just made it harder for me.
"Look, if I put somethin' together and take it out here, will you eat it?" he asked. "I know ya don't like eating at your desk but you haven't eaten since dinner yesterday. I won't make ya eat anything too heavy or anything, but ya gotta get somethin' into your system. Okay?"
"...Okay," I conceded.
I knew there was no point in fighting this and I didn't want to fight it to begin with. As obstinate as I'd grown I hoped he knew somehow that it wasn't anything he or the children did, though given how keen he was on picking up on my behaviors he most likely already knew.
"Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes," he said. "I don't mind at all if ya eat slowly, so long as what's on your plate gets eaten."
With that dropped on my lap he turned back to the corridor, looking back to me just once to check on me before vanishing. Once he was gone my eyes eased upward, feeling some kind of gnawing presence from elsewhere in the direct vicinity but finding nothing unusual. Those few minutes seemed to slow to a crawl and the fur on the nape of my neck stood on-end. It was eerily quiet with only the ticking of my small clock and distant shuffling of dishes down the hallway to break the silence of the lobby.
Finally my spacing was interrupted by Daniel's return to the lobby, carrying a plate and small mug of something hot. He set the offering on one of the side shelves of my desk: A plate containing a sandwich with salmon, leafy greens, and a smooth avocado spread; to its side was a peeled navel orange, a handful of cashews, and a few pieces of dark chocolate. In the mug was an aromatic green tea with what looked like honey still on the spoon. Once my eyes fell upon the sight of food my stomach seemed to wake up, reminded how hungry I really was beneath the stress and releasing an unbecoming groan.
"As I thought," he said. "I know it ain't easy findin' an appetite when somethin's already eatin' you, but goin' without regular meals won't make ya feel any better. Even if ya don't feel hungry I really need ya to eat somethin', otherwise you're settin' yourself up for bigger problems in the near future."
I didn't think my ears could drop any lower. The last thing I wanted to be was someone else's problem.
"Hey," he softly said.
My eyes slowly eased up to meet his as his hand found its way against my cheek. His thumb brushed through the fur below my eye, likely feeling some stray moisture from my earlier tears. He bent down slightly to touch the end of his snout to my forehead and gave me a little kiss.
"I hope ya know I ain't mad at ya or anything like that, I just care about ya and want to keep your habits healthy," he continued. "I know something's botherin' ya pretty badly, so if you want to talk about it ya just gotta let me know."
"...I will think about it," I whispered, looking back down to the work still before me.
"Suppose I'll take what I can get," he sighed. "Everyone should be done pretty soon so we won't be gone much longer. Please start eatin' sooner rather than later."
He pat my head a couple times before returning to the corridor and heading back out into the hallway. Now alone with my thoughts I began picking at the food left to my side if only to distract me.
Surely if he'd seen something, a note or the like, he'd have brought it up with me. That he hadn't, at least not yet, was strangely relieving even if it were likely only temporary. Like he said, I'll take what I can get.
I picked at my food and drink with one hand while I wrote with the other.
---
Closing time finally came. I'd well finished my lunch sooner than I thought I would and felt at least a bit more awake and alert than previously. While the others headed back out to the kitchen Riv stayed behind to sweep the lobby, grumbling under his breath.
"Something the matter?" I asked from my desk as I closed the day's work folder.
"Tired of chores," was all he'd reply.
"Honey, you're not the only one who has chores," I said, stowing my work folder in the safe under my desk. "Besides, I don't think I'm asking much from the three of you-- you still have plenty of free time every day."
"We do more around the house than you do," he responded.
"...Now wait just a minute," I said. "Daniel and I were the ones to do those tasks before assigning chores to any of you. This is on top of our jobs and on top of making your schoolwork--"
"What's even the point of schoolwork?" he interrupted. "Not like we can even go outside so what's the use?"
I sighed.
"...Asking the three of you to help us even out the workload by taking over daily dishes, weekly garbage, and nightly lobby sweeping is not much," I continued, getting back to the original issue. "We still do the laundry and the cooking, both of which take as much time as your chores, if not more."
"...The pure kids don't ever do anything," he growled, sweeping up his pile into the dustpan. "You make us do everything 'cus we're just dilutes."
"...What?" I balked. "That's not true at all. I'm...not in charge of the pure children so I can't speak for what they do here. I ask you, Sura, and Saffron to help us out around here because you're our children."
"No we're not."
My heart jumped up into my throat and my eyes began welling up all over again.
"...Maybe not biologically, but we both love you just as much," I quietly said, standing up from my desk and walking toward the corridor.
Before I could pass Riv he could only look to the floor, his face tense with frustration as he tried to make sense of the world around him. It was all so unfair, how restricted and caged he was here. If it hurt me this much to see him this way I could only imagine how he, himself, must be feeling. Though, as much as I tried to keep it from him, I likely had more insight to the feeling than he thought.
Perhaps against my better judgment I wrapped my scrawny arms around my growing boy and squeezed him in a hug. He just stood there, seemingly unsure how to react or what to say. As careful as I thought I was I felt some of the moisture from my eyes reach his shirt. Given the strange little gasp I heard above me I think he felt it.
"I don't do these things to punish or hurt you, Riv," I said with my cheek against his front. "Something like that would never even cross my mind. I'm just...trying to help teach you cooperation and responsibility, trying to prepare you for adulthood. You're all growing up so fast."
Maybe what I said made sense as he reciprocated my gesture after a moment, bringing his big arms up around me.
...Too fast.
A pause later and we both parted to head to the kitchen, his following me close behind with my tail wrapped around him just like all those years ago.
---
During and after dinner I felt a bit more at-ease, much of my paranoia mitigated just by being around my loved ones. While Riv's words still stung I had to keep Daniel's advice in mind and try not to take it to heart.
I waited out in the lobby for Morissey's return, the punctual employer arriving at his usual time. He remembered to bring with him a folder of work, though my mood sunk once I saw it. Admittedly I'd forgotten much of my earlier woes but that was a sour reminder. Regardless, it was what I asked for, so I quickly put it away in my desk safe before we both left the house.
The farther we strayed from my property, the more I felt that aching feeling of being watched. It was such a strange phenomenon, my not seeing or hearing anything amiss around us, only the scraping of our feet against the road.
"So, you said there was something you wanted to talk about?" he asked once we were in the center of town.
"...There is, but I don't think here is the best place for it," I replied.
He turned to me to gauge my expression, but given his silence my face answered any question he might have had.
We continued our walk in silence, his opting to take the usual back roads as to avoid stray eyes or commotion. I was thankful for that as walking through the busier downtown seemed to spike that feeling more than those quieter residential zones. Whether it were due to more staff or more people in general in the area, I couldn't really say. After all, many people knew of me and mine so eyes usually found me should I leave my home for any reason.
...How much I missed being just a nobody, some freelance desk jockey doing paperwork nobody could be bothered to do by themselves.
After about another ten minutes we reached the edge of town, the only things to our backs being the hills and foliage of southern Faradus. We were back at the spot under the lamppost with bench as we'd come to get away from the rest of Huot.
"Is this sufficiently far?" he asked, standing under the tall lamp towering over the bench. "If not, we could go a little further. I think it would be best to stay within the town limits for the sake of safety, though."
"...This should be fine," I sighed, taking a seat on the bench to rest my feet.
Morissey stood at the nearest side of the bench, patiently waiting for me to begin. I was trying to find my words, fumbling in my head over what to say and how to say it. I didn't want to potentially upset him or draw suspicion to a greater issue, but how to accomplish that I simply hadn't a clue.
"I would...like to request my pay be decreased to what your staff has demanded," I finally spoke.
"...What?" he said, reeling back. "But...wh...why?"
"I just think it's...fair that I follow the contract I signed, including the stipulations," I said. "I'm...sorry I ever tried to convince you to go against our initial agreement. That was a gross misstep on my part and I hope you can forgive me."
"I...I don't understand, Sam," he shook his head. "I want to pay you more. You do good work and your work ethic is truly something to be admired. I don't want you to feel like you need to cater to those who aren't your problem."
...If only you knew, Morissey, just how much and for how long I'd been doing exactly that.
"Morissey, I don't want you to feel like you need to put your position -- perhaps even more than that -- on the line for me," I returned. "I know what the contract said and it was what I put my name on. All they're asking is that I follow the contract I signed."
...God, I hated this.
"Is...something pushing you into this?" he asked.
I couldn't tell if I had given something away or he'd suddenly become startlingly astute.
"...Sorry, I'm just asking because I know you've had issue with the house staff in the past--"
I felt like a knife had been plunged into my back.
"--and if they're causing issues again, I would like to know so I can tend to it."
"N...No, they're fine," I said through grit teeth.
"Are you alright?"
"Y-Yes, just...random pain in my gut," I said, rubbing some random area of my abdomen. "You know those odd sharp feelings."
"Ah, those," he tried to laugh. "I'm familiar."
We both turned away from each other and looked off to our sides, unsure of what to say or where to go from here. While I expected some degree of questioning and tension I hadn't expected him to pick up on his staff being a possible reason. Maybe I wasn't giving him enough credit, his having gotten to know me more than I would have liked. I always seemed to make everything around me so much worse no matter how hard I tried to blend into the wall, whether it were here, Hagali, or even way back in Falun.
Always something.
"...Well, while I'm not happy and certainly disagree with your request, I'll...I'll honor it," he said. "I do wish you wouldn't concern yourself with the upper staff as they're my problem, not yours. That would be neither fair nor just."
"...Thank you," was all I could say, standing up off the bench to extend my hand.
He looked at my hand and sighed, pausing for a moment before giving it a shake. His grip was weak and uncertain, rather unlike what I'd grown used to from him.
He...really didn't like this any more than I did, did he?
From there our walk continued, and though I'd hoped this would mitigate some of the paranoia I could still feel something, someone in our vicinity. Not wanting to potentially put Morissey in a worse mood I said nothing of it. I still wasn't sure he even had the same sensations I did or if this really was just all on me, all in my head.
...No, those notes at home were real.
I saw them. Heather saw them. I tore one up in front of her.
My history with the staff was real.
The rumors about Daniel and I were real.
My father trying to poison my son was real.
That assault in the upper hallway, where I'd been maimed and nearly raped, was real.
I couldn't keep pretending that this was just all in my head, but I couldn't put a face or name to this latest ordeal. Worse yet-- because the handwriting always looked different there was no telling how many might be involved. It could be one, it could be all of them.
...As long as they stayed away from my partner and children, I would just do what I could to get by and save as much as I could to finally get out of here. There was no saying how long it would take, especially now with less pay to look forward to while my children were growing so fast, but...
...I'd do all I could. I'd make it work somehow.
We finally reached the foster home again, our stepping down the long cobblestone path up to the large building. I walked up and onto the concrete slab just outside the front door.
"...Will you be alright going forward?" Morissey asked from behind me once I grabbed the front door's handle.
"...It's like you said all those years ago, Morissey," I replied.
"Pardon?"
Turning the handle I looked back to him with my best attempt at a smile through it all.
"If I'm unsatisfied with the compensation I receive...I can always work more."
---
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Tarov
MemberThe illustration says more than enough...
Reverend's past fits his character development really well. The assault he's experienced, both in childhood and adulthood reflects the situation he's been forced into for the last 11 years--both leave him powerless, totally subjugated. It's horrible (though that means it's really good writing, or at least I think so).
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