General: cucumber

A cucumber is one of the most unremarkable vegetables you will ever see in your life, or to put it another way, has about as much impact on the human brain as a single dust partical on a dirty, dirty rug, which is why you should always vacuum your house.

Oh, what then? You don't own a house? Dirty millenials, I tell you...

Stop me if you've heard this before: it's a long green cylinder that grows in countries nobody cares about and tastes worse than your boyfriend's spunk. It has next to no nutritional value (except for Vitamin K, astoundingly), is 95% water, and whose greatest contribution to gastronomy is through the invention of the pickle.

Don't get me wrong, a pickle isn't exactly something you'd pick as the main dish in a four-course dinner. But given the almost laughable taste performance of its ancestor, it's like traveling across the Atlantic for three years before finally arriving in the Americas.

The generic qualities of the cucumber gives it almost no recognition whatsoever, except for the exceptionally strange coincidence that young ladies and your stepmom can use it as an impromptu sex toy, the same as your dad can fuck squash all night long. Anyway, that's why we aren't speaking anymore.

This tag implies the following tags: vegetable

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User: StrawberryMouse
Date: August 19, 2017 ↑13 ♥43 C2 E anthro banana canine collar cucumber deersun food fruit fur group humor innuendo mammal name_tag solo_focus vegetable white_fur wolf

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User: cerv_solaire
Date: July 10, 2017 ↑15 ♥21 C2 Q C ! 4_fingers <3 ambiguous_species anthro banana baseball_cap bear bite black_and_white boxers_(clothing) bra camera canine chart clothed clothing collar comic cucumber cup deersun detailed_background dialogue dog eating empty_eyes english_text eye_roll fangs female folder food fox fruit group half-closed_eyes hands_on_knees hat hi_res holding_food holding_object interlocked_fingers kneeling lagomorph larger_male looking_down male male/female mammal monochrome muscular muscular_male necktie object_in_mouth onomatopoeia oops orange_(fruit) paper partially_clothed pen phone rabbit raccoon recording sad shirt shocked sitting size_difference smaller_female sound_effects standing suggestive suggestive_food suit teeth text these_aren't_my_glasses underwear vegetable wide_eyed wolf

Rating: Questionable
Score: 7
User: cerv_solaire
Date: July 10, 2017 ↑7 ♥20 C2 Q P 2017 3_fingers 4_toes ahoge anthro avian beak bird black_claws black_feathers black_hair blonde_hair blue_eyes censored claws countershade_face countershade_torso countershading creative_censorship cucumber dragonsushi dripping eating feather_tuft feathers female flower food food_play full-length_portrait hair half-closed_eyes leaf lemon looking_at_viewer lying marker_(artwork) markings mixed_media multicolored_feathers multicolored_hair nipple_slip nipples nude nyotaimori on_back onigiri orange_background orange_hair pen_(artwork) pink_nipples plant ponytail portrait puffed_cheeks puffin raised_eyebrows rice shiny short_hair side_view simple_background solo soy_sauce sushi toes traditional_media_(artwork) tuft vegetable white_background white_countershading white_feathers winged_arms wings yellow_beak yellow_markings yellow_skin

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User: facelessmess
Date: June 20, 2017 ↕0 ♥2 C0 Q anal anal_masturbation anal_penetration animal_humanoid anthro carrot cucumber daydream female female/female fish food group hair hi_res humanoid improvised_dildo improvised_sex_toy lagomorph mammal marine masturbation outside penetration rabbit shark sheenny vaginal vaginal_penetration vegetable

Rating: Explicit
Score: 7
User: Cat-in-Flight
Date: June 13, 2017 ↑7 ♥25 C0 E cucumber cutie_mark day detailed_background equine feathered_wings feathers female feral food friendship_is_magic hair hooves horn jumping mammal my_little_pony open_mouth outside purple_eyes purple_feathers purple_hair scared shocked sky solo startled surprise ta-na twilight_sparkle_(mlp) vegetable winged_unicorn wings

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Score: 15
User: Millcore
Date: June 10, 2017 ↑15 ♥15 C4 S 2015 <3 anal anal_beads anal_penetration anus blue_eyes blush breasts brown_eyes clothed clothing cucumber drooling duo female female/female food food_insertion grass green_hair green_skin grey_hair hair human human_on_humanoid humanoid improvised_sex_toy jajala japanese_clothing kappa kimono licking lying mammal monster_girl_(genre) not_furry nude on_side open_mouth outside penetration pussy pussy_juice saliva sex_toy tongue tongue_out vegetable water wet wood

Rating: Explicit
Score: 32
User: Granberia
Date: May 30, 2017 ↑32 ♥99 C0 E 2017 3_toes 4_fingers amber_eyes anthro anus breasts butt cucumber female food gastropod half-closed_eyes hi_res lonbluewolf looking_at_viewer non-mammal_breasts open_mouth pussy shell slime snail solo suggestive suggestive_food toes tongue vegetable

Rating: Explicit
Score: 18
User: cinnamon365
Date: May 27, 2017 ↑18 ♥79 C9 E 5_fingers anal anal_masturbation anal_penetration anthro anthrofied balls blush clothed clothing crossdressing cucumber erection eyelashes flower food girly green_eyes green_hair green_penis hair half-closed_eyes hi_res humanoid_penis legendary_pokémon lying male masturbation mostly_nude nintendo open_mouth penetration penis plant pokéball pokémon pokémorph shadowill shaymin solo spread_legs spreading tongue toying_self uncut vegetable video_games white_penis white_skin

Rating: Explicit
Score: 54
User: Schroedinger's_Hat
Date: April 01, 2017 ↑54 ♥190 C4 E P 5_fingers anal anal_masturbation anal_penetration anthro anthrofied balls blush clothed clothing crossdressing cucumber erection eyelashes flower food girly green_hair green_penis hair hi_res humanoid_penis legendary_pokémon lying male masturbation mostly_nude nintendo open_mouth penetration penis plant pokéball pokémon pokémorph shadowill shaymin solo spread_legs spreading tongue toying_self uncut vegetable video_games white_penis white_skin

Rating: Explicit
Score: 32
User: Schroedinger's_Hat
Date: April 01, 2017 ↑32 ♥133 C2 E C