General: cucumber

A cucumber is one of the most unremarkable vegetables you will ever see in your life, or to put it another way, has about as much impact on the human brain as a single dust partical on a dirty, dirty rug, which is why you should always vacuum your house.

Oh, what then? You don't own a house? Dirty millenials, I tell you...

Stop me if you've heard this before: it's a long green cylinder that grows in countries nobody cares about and tastes worse than your boyfriend's spunk. It has next to no nutritional value (except for Vitamin K, astoundingly), is 95% water, and whose greatest contribution to gastronomy is through the invention of the pickle.

Don't get me wrong, a pickle isn't exactly something you'd pick as the main dish in a four-course dinner. But given the almost laughable taste performance of its ancestor, it's like traveling across the Atlantic for three years before finally arriving in the Americas.

The generic qualities of the cucumber gives it almost no recognition whatsoever, except for the exceptionally strange coincidence that young ladies and your stepmom can use it as an impromptu sex toy, the same as your dad can fuck squash all night long. Anyway, that's why we aren't speaking anymore.

This tag implies the following tags: vegetable

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Rating: Explicit
Score: 8
User: Damien-The-Red-Panda
Date: September 29, 2017 ↑8 ♥39 C1 E 2017 <3 anthro assisted_bathing bathing cub cucumber donatello_(tmnt) duo food inkyfrog kneeling leonardo_(tmnt) low_res male mud_mask partially_colored reptile scalie shell simple_background sitting smile sparkle teenage_mutant_ninja_turtles towel turtle vegetable white_background young

Rating: Safe
Score: 1
Date: September 09, 2017 ↑1 ♥1 C0 S P 2017 3_toes 3ds 4_toes 5_fingers anthro barefoot bear beverage big_head black_fur black_nose blue_eyes bottle brown_fur brown_hair canine casual_nudity cat chibi child clothed clothing convenient_censorship crossed_arms cub cucumber darkmagic dog doorway dragon dress_shirt eastern_dragon eye_patch eyes_closed eyewear feline food fully_clothed fur furgonomics game_console gaming green_skin grey_fur grey_hair group hair happy hi_res hiroyuki_(morenatsu) holding_food holding_object juuichi_mikazuki kouya_(morenatsu) kyouji_(morenatsu) lion lying male mammal morenatsu musical_note night nintendo nude on_back on_front open_mouth open_smile orange_fur pecs pickle pizza playing_videogame purple_fur raised_tail red_eyes red_hair scared shin_(morenatsu) shirt short_hair short_tail shorts shun_(morenatsu) sitting sky sleeping smile soutarou_(morenatsu) star starry_sky stripes tail_clothing tail_tuft tan_fur tank_top tatsuki_(morenatsu) tiger toes torahiko_(morenatsu) tuft vegetable video_games waistcoat wingless_dragon wolf wristband yellow_fur young zucchini

Rating: Safe
Score: 5
User: LoupMoune
Date: August 30, 2017 ↑5 ♥26 C2 S angel angel_(lady_and_the_tramp) animal_genitalia animal_pussy anthro blue_eyes blush bushes canine cucumber cum cumshot curled_tail cute dildo disney dog drooling ejaculation female fightmeatpax floppy_ear food grass hi_res lady_and_the_tramp lust mammal masturbation nature orgasm orgasmic panting paws peets pomchi pomeranian pussy pussy_juice saliva self_pleasure sex_toy solo tongue vegetable wet

Rating: Explicit
Score: 16
User: StrawberryMouse
Date: August 19, 2017 ↑16 ♥59 C2 E anthro banana canine collar cucumber deersun food fruit fur group humor innuendo mammal name_tag solo_focus vegetable white_fur wolf

Rating: Questionable
Score: 19
User: cerv_solaire
Date: July 10, 2017 ↑19 ♥32 C3 Q C ! 4_fingers <3 ambiguous_species anthro banana baseball_cap bear bite black_and_white boxers_(clothing) bra camera canine chart clothed clothing collar comic cucumber cup deersun detailed_background dialogue dog eating empty_eyes english_text eye_roll fangs female folder food fox fruit group half-closed_eyes hands_on_knees hat hi_res holding_food holding_object interlocked_fingers kneeling lagomorph larger_male looking_down male male/female mammal monochrome muscular muscular_male necktie object_in_mouth onomatopoeia oops orange_(fruit) paper partially_clothed pen phone procyonid rabbit raccoon recording sad shirt shocked sitting size_difference smaller_female sound_effects standing suggestive suggestive_food suit teeth text these_aren't_my_glasses underwear vegetable wide_eyed wolf

Rating: Questionable
Score: 11
User: cerv_solaire
Date: July 10, 2017 ↑11 ♥30 C2 Q P 2017 3_fingers 4_toes ahoge anthro avian beak bird black_claws black_feathers black_hair blonde_hair blue_eyes censored claws countershade_face countershade_torso countershading creative_censorship cucumber dragonsushi dripping eating feather_tuft feathers female flower food food_play full-length_portrait hair half-closed_eyes leaf lemon looking_at_viewer lying marker_(artwork) markings mixed_media multicolored_feathers multicolored_hair nipple_slip nipples nude nyotaimori on_back onigiri orange_background orange_hair pen_(artwork) pink_nipples plant ponytail portrait puffed_cheeks puffin raised_eyebrows rice shiny short_hair side_view simple_background solo soy_sauce sushi toes traditional_media_(artwork) tuft vegetable white_background white_countershading white_feathers winged_arms wings yellow_beak yellow_markings yellow_skin

Rating: Questionable
Score: 0
User: facelessmess
Date: June 20, 2017 ↕0 ♥2 C0 Q anal anal_masturbation anal_penetration animal_humanoid anthro carrot cucumber daydream female female/female fish food group hair hi_res humanoid improvised_dildo improvised_sex_toy lagomorph mammal marine masturbation outside penetration rabbit shark sheenny vaginal vaginal_penetration vegetable

Rating: Explicit
Score: 7
User: Cat-in-Flight
Date: June 13, 2017 ↑7 ♥29 C0 E cucumber cutie_mark day detailed_background equine feathered_wings feathers female feral food friendship_is_magic hair hooves horn jumping mammal my_little_pony open_mouth outside purple_eyes purple_feathers purple_hair scared shocked sky solo startled surprise ta-na twilight_sparkle_(mlp) vegetable winged_unicorn wings

Rating: Safe
Score: 15
User: Millcore
Date: June 10, 2017 ↑15 ♥16 C4 S 2015 <3 anal anal_beads anal_penetration anus blue_eyes blush breasts brown_eyes clothed clothing cucumber drooling duo female female/female food food_insertion grass green_hair green_skin grey_hair hair human human_on_humanoid humanoid improvised_sex_toy jajala japanese_clothing kappa kimono licking lying mammal monster_girl_(genre) not_furry nude on_side open_mouth outside penetration pussy pussy_juice saliva sex_toy tongue tongue_out vegetable water wet wood

Rating: Explicit
Score: 33
User: Granberia
Date: May 30, 2017 ↑33 ♥102 C0 E