Topic: Bullying

Posted under Off Topic

Hudson

Former Staff
Slight rant-warning

Due the events I experienced at college recently (you could also say "relived"), I inadvertently got reminded of some of my most hated childhood memories: bullies.

Bullies, the opposing force of a harmonical society, the moulds that spoil our food, the mosquitos that roam in your bedroom at night, the devil's little helpers.
Apologies for my somewhat derogatory comparisons, but unless you have been bullied before, especially repeatedly, you have no idea what it is like at all.
Anyway, bullies are the kind of people that form some of the biggest disruptions in our society as a whole. They are the ones that search for individuals just to harass them, cause them to feel uncertain about themselves or pester them just for fun. Bullying is especially a plague in the form of groups: multiple people with the same malicious intentions that do their best to be as obnoxious to you as possible. Because picking on someone less popular than them to impress their friends who are equally as wicked as the main bully that orders them around is really "cool."
They aren't people that are put in special schools or excluded from our peaceful society, no. They have been among us for eternities and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon.

Bullying, both in-person and online, is responsible for an enormous amount of people with depression, self-insecurity, traumas and even suicides. That's probably why a survey in the newspaper resulted in a 88% "yes" vote on the statement: "Bullying is a large social problem that needs to be fought." Even today, thousands of people fall victim to bullies. It's a real sad thing in this world that should know better seen the history of this grand-scale problem.

Now as the essence of this thread, I would like to ask you one question: have you ever been the victim of bullying, saw someone else get bullied or even know stories about people in your close vicinity getting bullied?
If so, please share them in this thread. Let's also respect each other's experiences, for this is a sensitive subject to some people.

If you have a rather long story to share, consider putting it in a section to avoid clotting up the thread: \[section]Your story here[\/section]

Note: when you want to refer to names, it's best to use a fake name for them to protect their privacy, even when it's only a given name instead of a surname. e621 has a rule against disclosing real names on the site so beware!

My story about being bullied during my childhood
Primary

While I can't really remember much from primary, I do know that it wasn't a nice period. I got bullied a lot for being quite withdrawn and because my way of thinking and handling situations deviated from the rest.
I'm really glad my memory fails to recall the vast majority of the events during that period.

There was one guy, probably a few years older than me, that always took the time and effort to search me up and fling some detrimental words to my head. He especially liked it to make puns out of my (highly pun-able) last name. About that, I've been made fun of solely for my last name for about 10 entire years by a dozen amount of kids.

The last grade was split up in two classes. The other class contained most of the bullies and people I'd rather not be around. That didn't stop them from getting onto me though.
Over the years at primary, I mostly got name-called, insulted and yelled at, but was also the victim of (light) violence sometimes.
And the teachers? The teachers did't care at all, while it was happening right in front of them. They never took it serious. Leaving primary was a big relief for that reason.

Secondary

Year 1
It did begin good. A fresh start, all past rumours and reputation erased and the majority of my old class went elsewhere, especially the people I used to despise for what they were. The class in which I was put was alright.

Near the end of year 1, someone joined our class. I almost immediately friended this person because he was friendly and had the same kind of humor as me, albeit he was a bit of a weird one. I tell this because this had influence on the remaining 3 years. The year itself went past with little fuss.

Year 2 & 3
Since these two years were mostly the same, I just merged them together. They were important years, though, because I met the most friends in it.
However, the friend I had in year one became a friend of someone who joined our class in year two, while I also friended him. I wanted to just share the amount of time sitting next to each, but this almost always resulted in a competition. This ultimately caused the friend status between me and my friend from year one to become unstable and he often lashed out to me.
The people I friended weren't very nice at all times. I noticed by now, that they always plotted against me behind their back, but in a way that made it seem like they were innocent to save their reputation in front of the girls. It feels miserable to feel betrated like that.
I kept hanging out with them though, for I knew no better ones anyway.

That did change at the end of year 3 though. I friended a guy I used to dislike (he even had the same name as me). He was one of the only people who I truly consider as friend when I look back at it.

Year 4
Year 4 was the worst of them all. I got separated from my friends (I still called them that while I should have known better). and was put in the "residue" of what was left: the class with all the bullies and people I've never even seen before. I don't think a single day dawned in which I didn't get called out on or was made fun of behind my back (while I could very clearly hear them). This was the first time in my life I truly hated some people on my school.

There was also a girl who I still consider as one of the most awful persons I've ever met in my entire life. She was unreal. Her attitude was atrocious, and she seemed to have a particular hatred against me for apparently no reason other than my assumption of rumours from fellow bullies. She was a thorn in my eye and mind.

Again, the teachers did not care, because why should they? The headmaster did take me and a few bullies involved in a dispute apart to talk about what happened one time. It was a nice attempt, but it didn't really work as that same day they just resumed their vile ways of trying to destroy me from the inside.
I also told him about that girl I mentioned in the paragraph above who once hit me and called me "cancer child." He knew it, but didn't do anything about it. Not a single thing. He only came to me a few months later to ask how I was doing and if I still want to talk about it.
From that day on, I just gave up on counting on help from teachers, as my mental health is obviously not their problem. Besides, if bullies are involved in a talk you request a teacher to hold with them, all that will happen is that they will target you even more.

College

Year 1
The step from secondary to college was an extraordinarily pleasant one. This was mainly because of the age of the people I met in college. A lot of them were mature (as in age, but also in attitude), even when I entered the first class. Some lived on their own already and there was one guy that flew over to the Netherlands on his own while he originated from Aruba. The youngest person back then was 16 years old (with me being the second youngest).

There were 5 directions for the study to choose from: chemistry, microbiology, medical, food and water. Water was the only direction that split up from the remaining 4 directions in the midst of the year. Thank heavens for that, because water contained exactly the most moronic people I've met on college even to this day.

Year 2
This was one of the most pleasant years of education I've ever had. The class that was formed was awesome without a doubt. Literally nobody in my class had any contempt towards anyone: everyone was treated with respect and with an attitude of "join in!" when it came to social events. Nobody was put down or excluded.

Year 3
I had kind of hoped to never again meet bullies in real life, but I have had hopes that were too high apparently. Luckily I am still in the class that I consider as the best one far.
What I said about those stupid people that went the water direction in year 1 applies here: exactly those people are roaming the halls in college again, shouting out my name several times in "funny" accents or various different tone heights. They only ever do so when in a group, never on their own. Childish cowards.

It might not really seem worth it getting pent up over, especially not seen the fact that they don't actively look for me, but understand that they only target me out of all people, and they never allow any occasion to harass me to slip. It's getting to the point that I actively try to avoid them and slightly panic from the inside whenever I see them approaching.

I just cannot understand. When you are at an age of say 20, how is it possible that some people still choose the depraved and destructive way of crippling other people their self-esteem and making them believe they are worthless and unwelcome? How is that possible while you are supposed to be developing the mindset and attitude of a grown adult? Why don't they see that it is completely unacceptable to put anyone down because you enjoy from committing such sadistic actions for you and your friends cruel satisfaction?

I cut an article from the paper during my internship at the end of last year and pinned it to the wall of my room. It's an amazing column by Dutch columnist Hadjar Benmiloud, re-iterating some very true facts about bullies and their dedeplorable mindset: Dear bullies.
If anyone wants me to translate it to English, just say so and I'll get it done.

Updated by treos

HotUnderTheCollar said:
Bullying, both in-person and online, is responsible for an enormous amount of people with depression, self-insecurity, traumas and even suicides. That's probably why a survey in the newspaper resulted in a 88% "yes" vote on the statement: "Bullying is a large social problem that needs to be fought." Even today, thousands of people fall victim to bullies. It's a real sad thing in this world that should know better seen the history of this grand-scale problem.

I have no doubt about this statistic.
My experience of bullying:

I was both a bully, and a victim of bullying in grades 3-9. After being bullied in 3rd grade, I was transferred to a Catholic during 4th and 5th grades. In 4th grade I became one of those that I was bullied by during my 3rd grade, and by 5th grade I realized what I was doing and tried my best to control my anger issues I got from my experiences from 3rd grade. To this day I still regret all of the harm that I've caused at the Catholic school, despite being forgiven by those that I have harmed.

My parents took me back to public schools when I was in 6th grade...and what I was put through was worse than what I did at the Catholic school. I remember this one incident where I was in a bus playing with my calculator, and the kid next to me told me to spell out the N word...I did it because I didn't know what the N word meant at the time. When I did, the kid screamed about what I did and I got jumped on (jumped on meaning getting attacked)

In 7th and 8th grades I got in a few fights with my bullies, thinking that out-bullying them would get them to leave me alone, but I realized that doing so would sometimes get them to pick on someone else because of me. 9th grade was my last year of my bullying issues, because my parents taught me that ignoring my bullies would get them to leave me alone. It was difficult for me to do but it payed off, because by 10th grade I had no bullies left.

To this day I wonder if me never having Autism in the first place would've made my school years better or not.

Updated by anonymous

Well i have been bullied in primary school in the first 5 years but after that it stopped mostly becaouse alomost everyone in my class left the school becaouse of a bad teacher so in 4.-(grade??) my hole class was consisting of 4 person 2 bullies and me and a nother student who was helping the bullies becuse he didn't want to get bullied. Than in 5.(-grade??) The main bully has grown up a bit and realised that bullying is a bad thing.( Actually here in hungary we don't have a word for bulling .) So they stopped than they also left the school but they were replaced by new nicer students.

In my secondary school currently im not bullied, but in the first year some people tried it, but i just ignored them and they quickly lose interest funnily enough all of the bully candidates are left the school :D .So right now im not being bullied and my classes community is great! Thankfully.

Actually here in hungary bullies usually don't harass students
physically, atleast not in better schools, and it's not as common as in american schools (i think).

Updated by anonymous

I was only bullied in middle school, though to be honest, I gave as good as I got. A lot of the time, I was an edgy, arrogant little jerk who looked down on everyone else and shoved people around.

That's not to say I reciprocated to the people who brought it on me. Not all the time, at least. Looking back, I guess I was a bully, myself. I used to call attention to others' weaknesses so that I'd redirect everyone's ridicule away from me and towards them. People made fun of me a lot for stupid reasons and that was my selfish way of managing that. As much as I want to criticize the people who bullied me in the first place for starting the problem, I wasn't any better.

Two kids in particular I remember doing that stuff to. Haven't seen either of them in a long time, but one of them doesn't hold it against me, apparently.

Thankfully, I was pretty much over that shit by the time I finished my last year of middle school and just stopped caring when people teased me. I really did overreact to some of it (not that I'm defending their actions). People don't believe me when I tell them I used to be a jerk.

Updated by anonymous

I could go on a bigass rant at how schools and education enable bullies and are just at fault as the bullies themselves and all this other garbage on bullying and shit but ill spare you guys (and my thumbs) the read.

Was bullied ALOT in school, I'll spare the deets.
I'll be truthfully and say that I was a bully too sometimes, usually to the kids deemed more "outcasted" then me.

Best way to stop a bully is beating the shit out of them.

Cyber bullying however is the stupidest shit ever man. To quote Tyler the Creator

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

Updated by anonymous

Rustyy said:

Cyber bullying however is the stupidest shit ever man.

Maybe so, but how is walking away from the screen going to help if they're mussing up your profiles on certain sites, ganging up on you, continuing to harrass, or even hacking? People are dicks, behind a screen or not.

Updated by anonymous

Pepperyena said:
Maybe so, but how is walking away from the screen going to help if they're mussing up your profiles on certain sites, ganging up on you, continuing to harrass, or even hacking? People are dicks, behind a screen or not.

well, idk, stop giving a shit? if their too pussy to confront you IRL then why care? just keep doing whatever your doing.

If you really cant not care, then delete comments, set profile to private, etc.

or just not use social media. sorry but you dont need to inform the world when your going to a party or how much you love a politician.

Seperate digital words on a screen from reality. or just go beat the shit out of them.

even hacking?

doubt it

People are dicks, behind a screen or not.

yea, no shit

Updated by anonymous

Rustyy said:
well, idk, stop giving a shit? if their too pussy to confront you IRL then why care? just keep doing whatever your doing.

There's more to it than that. There can be real repercussions to being a target online..

Updated by anonymous

I think i could handle cyber bullying pretty easily by not giving a shit about it. But ten years olds can hardly handle cyber bullying beacause they are not smart enough to ignore it, and i ve seen some examples to those.( usually on mc and tf2 servers).

Updated by anonymous

Fenrick said:
There's more to it than that. There can be real repercussions to being a target online..

like?

Updated by anonymous

I'd been bullied in middle school, and it pretty much destroyed the rest of my schooling. By now I can't really remember the specifics but I can remember all the feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing that still haunt me.
By high school, when I had a chance to move past it, new people and new settings, I was too reclusive and self-doubting to fix it. I wasn't directly bullied, but I was so used to it by that point, that I automatically interpreted any offhand comment or joke as a direct attack. I essentially kept myself "bullied" throughout high school, where there might have been none.
My first year of college, I talked to no one. I went in did the class and went out without interacting with any classmates, or people around campus.
The whole experience really changes who I was, and I still wonder how life might have been better, if I hadn't went through it.

Updated by anonymous

Yeah, I got bullied constantly when I was a kid. I won't go into detail, there's just too much to tell and I don't have the patience to write it all out.

Suffice to say, though, that I was bullied and abused at home (mostly psychological though also physically in my very young years), and I was bullied incessantly in school by both children and teachers. I was also bullied at church. The hardest thing for me, though, wasn't the bullying itself. It was that when I told people in authority what was going on, they flat-out denied that these things could be happening. My whole life has been basically set up to where if I suffer at all, it's automatically either my fault, or never happened at all. I've been pathologized for calling my parents out, and I've been punished at schools and other places for calling my bullies out.

And if I ever fought back, the bullies would usually leave me alone but then the system, which had blatantly ignored the bullying I went through even when it was done in plain sight, would throw a tantrum because I had had the gall to strike back at the bully. It's my sincere opinion, based on my own experience with bullying, that bullies do what they do because they know they'll get away with it, or because they see any punitive measures taken by authorities as weak and silly (Suspended for three days? Ha! You mean VACATION for three days). If teachers gave bullying *victims* the same preferential treatment they tend to give bullies themselves, I believe the vast majority of bullying would die down in a matter of weeks... because if the teachers ignored the victims beating the living shit out of the bullies, the bullies wouldn't have the last laugh.

Updated by anonymous

Rustyy said:
like?

People revealing your personal information online to their little circlejerk group of choice. Even if they don't steal anything of yours, which is a big if, the hive mind might harass you over absolutely anything.

It might seem like no big deal but there was one instance, for example, where people decided to constantly prank-call a family because they thought it was hilarious that their 13-year-old son committed suicide.

And if they manage to get any kind of dirt on you, well, your friends and family are not likely to forget once these people inform them.

And then there's the fad of people making false bomb threat reports to fool SWAT teams into raid innocent peoples' homes.

Obviously that's extreme, but it does happen, and for no other reason than people deciding to be shitbags. Turning the computer off will not make these examples go away.

Updated by anonymous

Well here's the abridged version of what happened to me so

the trials and tribulations of a horrible waste of space

nothing really happened to me in primary school but throughout secondary, things that people did to me include in no particular order;

- Actual literal stealing/otherwise obtaining lunch money from me (yes it sounds stereotypical but this was a small-town British community college, it's like a fucking alternate universe in there so anything can happen)

- regular, standard, run-of-the-mill, civilian-grade verbal harassment

- stuff of mine got destroyed and/or stolen, only to turn up in lost property like a month or two later, and even then only half the time

- I had food thrown at me a lot, and this not only reckt my uniform but also attracted seagulls which then attacked me since they thought i had said food, so i suppose it counted as bullying by proxy? by seagulls?

- after like a year out of mainstream education I went to another school, only this time it got physical (which i couldn't retaliate against because this was seen as the 'real' offence by the school authorities)

- even more of my stuff got destroyed and stolen, never to be seen again

- nothing was done about this which continued for quite some time until i was taken out and put into a private school. things were much better after that thankfully

Updated by anonymous

Only time I got bullied was when I was on a football team when I was 8 and chubby. I had to wear a wave cap to fit my helmet because it was too big. Dudes took my wave cap right off my head and started throwing it to each other. I kept telling them to give it back but they refused. They said the usual fat jokes but then the coach eventually forced them to give me my cap back. It didn't bother me that much because we went on to win the championship and that was the last time I've heard of them, but that forever changed my competitiveness. Some dude tried to bully me and my friend in summer middle school but we fought back and won (Threw a steel chair at him, he got cut, and we all got suspensions lol). In high school, everyone thought I was an athletic stoner because I was a track star and super chill. Currently in college, everyone is super chill or mind their own businesses. The only peeps that stir up trouble are the 30-something creeps and criminals on campus, but that is also rare.

Updated by anonymous

My personal experiences with bullying are few and far from scarring or long-term depressing, but just memorable enough where I can sort of recall them when I'm presently at 23 years of age. I wasn't susceptible to any during Elementary School and in College, but a few times during Middle School and High School.

Middle School

One instance that I was bullied was during my freshman year. I had my backpack taken without my knowing for about five minutes and didn't realize it was gone until I noticed and searched around for it. Turns out, I found it being kicked at by a few other students, one of them having likely snatched it. The textbooks were intact, but the pencils and notebooks softer stuff either bent or broken.

I'm not a person that's easily angered, but seeing my stuff that I protect become violated really irks me, especially when it's done behind my back. I remember literally spearing one of the students like Bill Goldberg from WWE and causing him to fall onto his back before scrambling to pick up my stuff. Luckily, the teachers noticed what they were doing and got reprimanded for it, not even bothering with me because I was the victim and reacted defensively. Don't really know or cared what happened afterwards to those that assaulted my stuff.

High School

The only instance of bullying that I recalled happening to me that had the most impact was when someone stole my copy of Pokemon Pearl within my class and wouldn't fess up to it. It bothered me more that the teacher didn't care, probably because it was a metalworks class and it made me seem somewhat soft in comparison to the other students. Forced me to shovel about $25 for a used copy of Pokemon Diamond and spend several dozen hours to make up for what I lost.

Luckily for me, I had great nerd friends throughout High School that supported me just as much as I supported them. We would frequently play multiplayer Nintendo DS games during Lunch or go to one of the computer labs and playing multiplayer FPS games such as Halo: Combat Evolved. Great times, made even greater by the fact that the students in that high school hardly ever got on my bad side.

Besides, I was quite distant from the students there were a bit vulgar and it wasn't uncommon that a fight would break out between two girls in the middle of class, the local police to get themselves involved when a student punches a teacher, or sexual intercourse to happen in the bathroom or on the handicap lift behind the school's auditorium. Drugs were also evident through smoking, and I only recall one instance where I was asked if I wanted a cigarette, to which I gave a firm "Hell no" because it's bad for your health. Would've made my spontaneous pneumothoraxes a few years later a bit more serious.

Updated by anonymous

I normally don't share my stories about being bullied. A fellow SFM animator, who will remain anonymous as he has connections (apparently) and could very well get revenge. He met me on this site, of all places, and wanted to collaborate with me on his animations as a voice actor, to which I agreed with. Well, his personality is interesting, he was condescending, he often told me what I should make, what I can't make, and that he was superior in every way and that I couldn't amount to anything in SFM as I learned. Nothing I did ever impressed him or even got me praise, always saying I did it wrong no matter how much I tried.

Well, things escalated over time, he wanted me to do things his way, he insisted that everything he did was the right way, he made me promise not to release textures I made for model mods that I spent time on. I wasn't allowed to make FNAF or Undertale art, it just began to eat at me. I tried to be polite, I tried to be on my best behavior, but yesterday, it all came to a boil, his bullying had to end and I was going to be the one to stop it. Well, he wanted me to do more voice acting with another animation he was going to make, well, I should add that he likes to casually throw in insults, calling me stupid, incapable of learning, dumb, etc, other than "trying to build me up".

Well, I put my foot down, and after he insulted me the other day, I threatened that I would back out of the voice acting I agreed to do, told him off and left to do some errands. I came back later that day and he called me out and then insulted me, bullied me and threatened this his friend had unmarked Steam and Skype profiles he would use against me for "resisting". I told him off, words I do regret saying, but I promptly blocked him as he unfriended me right then and there. I can't stand people who order me around, bully me, telling me that their way is 100% right and my ways are 100% wrong; critique is one thing, constructive criticism is A-OK with me, but dragging me down, being condescending, using ad hominem, going to great lengths to discourage me?

I don't know what's going to happen, but bullies like him, I can't stand, again, not naming names, as much as I'd like to but that would put me on the same level as him, I refuse to be treated like garbage. Bullying is just...it doesn't solve a damn thing.

Updated by anonymous

My parents worked with my counselors to find a bully and offer to overlook some of her transgressions if she kept other bullies away from me. About the worst thing that ever happened to me was somebody stabbing a pencil into my leg, and the tip broke off and got stuck there. Nothing else that has happened to me comes close to that, though, so I'd say overall her job was a success!

Updated by anonymous

Hudson

Former Staff

fox_whisper85 said:
Well, I put my foot down, and after he insulted me the other day, I threatened that I would back out of the voice acting I agreed to do, told him off and left to do some errands. I came back later that day and he called me out and then insulted me, bullied me and threatened this his friend had unmarked Steam and Skype profiles he would use against me for "resisting". I told him off, words I do regret saying, but I promptly blocked him as he unfriended me right then and there. I can't stand people who order me around, bully me, telling me that their way is 100% right and my ways are 100% wrong; critique is one thing, constructive criticism is A-OK with me, but dragging me down, being condescending, using ad hominem, going to great lengths to discourage me?

When it comes to people insulting me over services like Steam, I almost immediately unfriend them, regardless of the time I knew them. This might seem overly serious, but I've had enough of them once they reveal that they do not hold back to insult someone they like to refer to as friend.

I had a friend in Germany I met via Team Fortress 2. I could write an insanely long message about this subject, but I'll just cut it to the essence.

We became good friends, met each other by train several times, spent most days chatting on Steam, talking problems through, etc.
However, after half a year went past, things started to slowly crumble away, as we kept floating more and more apart. He always wanted me to come online and talk to him. When I said I wanted to be offline and in peace, het got annoyed. He had a depressive nature and kept nagging me for not giving him the affection I couldn't give him anyway, because he never ever stopped about it and refused to get help from a psychiatrist, like I did with my depression in 2015.

Every single time he insulted me, I forgave him later on, but he just never ever learned that insulting people is pointless and vile.
After he started being hostile when he was visiting my place, I got enough of him. After one more month of harassment coming from his way, I blocked him and sent him a mail over Gmail in which I stated that I am completely done with his behavior and that if he doesn't alter his ways, I would rather unfriend him for good.
That was the last time I heard from him.

The friendship lasted a total of 1,5 years, having made 5 visits per train. Apparently, even friendships like that can end badly...

Updated by anonymous

Yeah i don't really think bullying is much of a issue. You either learn to be a bully yourself, learn to ignore the haters and the trolls, use the bugs bunny approach (reference to tails gets trolled where bugs bunny acts gay and stupid to throw off the trolls), or fall to the bottom.

This comes from a guy who got hit in the head with a club flint stones style in day-care.

Cyber-bullying is another issue entirely. I'm completely with Tyler The Creator on the side that you should walk away from the screen ans/or close your eyes.

And I was completely treated like shit by the almost the entirety of the blockland forums for 2 years.

Updated by anonymous

Hudson

Former Staff

memeboy said:
Yeah i don't really think bullying is much of a issue. You either learn to be a bully yourself, learn to ignore the haters and the trolls, use the bugs bunny approach (reference to tails gets trolled where bugs bunny acts gay and stupid to throw off the trolls), or fall to the bottom.

This comes from a guy who got hit in the head with a club flint stones style in day-care.

Cyber-bullying is another issue entirely. I'm completely with Tyler The Creator on the side that you should walk away from the screen ans/or close your eyes.

And I was completely treated like shit by the almost the entirety of the blockland forums for 2 years.

Bullying is an issue, no matter what you think of it. Almost everyone you know has been bullied. Some people just learn cope with it, while others end their lives because of it, tearing up their family by doing so.

Cyber bullying too, it's not something you just "walk away from," that statement makes no sense (then again, that guy posts controversial tweets all the time, just to gather attention).

An occasional troll, random troll you meet isn't really cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is about people perpetually stalking you around just to harass you, threatening you in the process. This has lead to cases like Amanda Todd.

Updated by anonymous

Standing up to bullies

I had this group of boys back in third grade that harassed both my self and my little sister in and out of school. I told my mom and dad about it. They went to the teachers and asked to get these boys knock it off. This kept happening for the next few months. My family raised me in a soft environment and always looked out for me.

My dad was getting pissed, so he told me and my little sister to "beat the shit out of them". My mom at first didn't agree but simply said be to careful. I knew what she meant. So the week after this given advice my sister and I ran into the same three ass hats again while walking home from school. They said that they were not happy that the teachers told them to quit harrassing us.

They began to get confrontational towards me. It was not until I saw my sister throw a punch back at one of them that I decided to join her. I was fighting the main ass hat while my sister took care of the other two. My sister actually managed to scare off the two boys by swinging her heavy roller backpack at them. We ended up chasing two of them off while my sister and I were chasing the main bully to his house(conveniently on the way to our house).

My sister tripped him and watched as I beat him up(so satisfying). I ended up punching him in the stomach hard enough to put him on the ground. The best part of all this was during the last fight with the main bully, is the fact that we did it right in front of the bully's dad. He got super pissed and walked up to us and started screaming obscenities at us. Luckily our dad was right behind us the whole time in the truck without our knowing and drove in between us and the dad. He said to get in and we did so lickety split.

Both my sister and I were so happy that day. When our dad picked us up I was immediately reminded of a Pelican from Halo picking you up from a hot LZ.

Updated by anonymous

HotUnderTheCollar said:
When it comes to people insulting me over services like Steam, I almost immediately unfriend them, regardless of the time I knew them. This might seem overly serious, but I've had enough of them once they reveal that they do not hold back to insult someone they like to refer to as friend.

I had a friend in Germany I met via Team Fortress 2. I could write an insanely long message about this subject, but I'll just cut it to the essence.

We became good friends, met each other by train several times, spent most days chatting on Steam, talking problems through, etc.
However, after half a year went past, things started to slowly crumble away, as we kept floating more and more apart. He always wanted me to come online and talk to him. When I said I wanted to be offline and in peace, het got annoyed. He had a depressive nature and kept nagging me for not giving him the affection I couldn't give him anyway, because he never ever stopped about it and refused to get help from a psychiatrist, like I did with my depression in 2015.

Every single time he insulted me, I forgave him later on, but he just never ever learned that insulting people is pointless and vile.
After he started being hostile when he was visiting my place, I got enough of him. After one more month of harassment coming from his way, I blocked him and sent him a mail over Gmail in which I stated that I am completely done with his behavior and that if he doesn't alter his ways, I would rather unfriend him for good.
That was the last time I heard from him.

The friendship lasted a total of 1,5 years, having made 5 visits per train. Apparently, even friendships like that can end badly...

And I never should have become "friends" with this dude, had I known he had a Jekyll-Hyde personality, I would have hesitated; one day he could be chill, the next, a total douche and treating me like a lesser being with his superiority complex. But like an idiot, I kept going on with the mentality that "oh he won't be this way later today" or "it'll get better", well, our friendship only soured from that point on, and eventually, we both said some things that I obviously shouldn't repeat on here, and then we cut ties then and there. I couldn't stand his demeaning, condescending BS, his bullying. He can just find some other poor sap to leech off of and not me.

Updated by anonymous

Bullying has always been a thing, and a thing that will continue to grow as parents (I'll even add society as a whole to be fatalistic) 'handle their children with kid-gloves'.

While I may not like children, I grant that many are smarter and more resilient than they are given credit for. Kids are supposed to get skinned knees, play in the dirt, fall off of things, and get into the occasional fight; these are all part of growing up, of learning and growing. Being kept inside for 'safety', being kept out of sports because they are 'dangerous' or 'too violent', being taught conflict (and by extension, fighting) is bad, all of the coddling and privilege is setting the stage for kids to become overly passive. The favorite targets of bullies.

In school I was never 'the fat kid', yet was chubby enough to guarantee some low-level bullying. Thankfully, I was able to get past feeling sorry for myself, and started to feel mad: eventually I pushed back, rather than let them get under my (ample ;>) skin.

It has been said over and over: bullies want victims, so if you show you have the will stand up for yourself (and it does not always have to be with fists), most will leave off. If a person holds firm, maybe even throws down in self-defence, and a bully continues to pursue them, they have identified themselves as a potential hardcase (read here: sociopath in the making ), and alerting an authority figure such as their teacher, is needed.

I believe the 'Pink Shirt Day' held in the Americas to be an absolutely absurd gesture: why wear a garment that, on any other day would guarantee the attention of a bully (insofar as boys are concerned)? Yes, I acknowledge that it is meant as a gesture of solidarity, yet I'll wager that from the POV of a bully, those who participate in 'Pink Shirt Day' are a simply a herd of stupid sheep who are deserving of ridicule (instead of individual stupid sheep deserved of ridicule) and potentially identifies targets for later ... ministrations.

I would love for a kid to wear pink hand wraps (boxing style) to 'Pink Shirt Day' as a statement. A statement that would likely get said student sent home for the day, or even suspended.
(Way to go Administration, for doing your part to ensure bullying continues)

Updated by anonymous

I'm not going to give any fore-thoughts of how I was bullied, since I still deal with it, but I'm noticing a trend of victim-blaming and down-playing in this thread. Understandably though, since a lot of people in general really don't like to prevent actions such as these, or in fact, add on to the fire.

Updated by anonymous

Aanyi said:
... I'm noticing a trend of victim-blaming and down-playing in this thread. Understandably though, since a lot of people in general really don't like to prevent actions such as these, or in fact, add on to the fire.

Bullying should not be downplayed. From what I have seen, it has only been escalating. It is mine own belief that the way many children are being raised and taught are contributing factors. Life can be tough, from beginning to end, and conflicts will be there all throughout, even moreso as an adult: instead of embracing avoidance, I believe it better to teach conflict management.

Where you see 'victim-blaming', I see members of the e6 community sharing their experiences about how they have dealt with bullying. A person can be a victim of bullying, and that is a horrible thing; it is up to them to stop being a victim.
People can ask for help with this, the resources are there. These resources will not fix the problem, yet can give a person the tools to help deal with them.

HotUnderTheCollar said:

... a survey in the newspaper resulted in a 88% "yes" vote on the statement: "Bullying is a large social problem that needs to be fought."

Fought.

It is not going away by just talking about it, or by wearing a pink shirt one day of the year. Frank discussions are a start. Belief in one's self, standing up for one's self, those are the next steps.

Updated by anonymous

Si_288 said:

Standing up to bullies

I had this group of boys back in third grade that harassed both my self and my little sister in and out of school. I told my mom and dad about it. They went to the teachers and asked to get these boys knock it off. This kept happening for the next few months. My family raised me in a soft environment and always looked out for me.

My dad was getting pissed, so he told me and my little sister to "beat the shit out of them". My mom at first didn't agree but simply said be to careful. I knew what she meant. So the week after this given advice my sister and I ran into the same three ass hats again while walking home from school. They said that they were not happy that the teachers told them to quit harrassing us.

They began to get confrontational towards me. It was not until I saw my sister throw a punch back at one of them that I decided to join her. I was fighting the main ass hat while my sister took care of the other two. My sister actually managed to scare off the two boys by swinging her heavy roller backpack at them. We ended up chasing two of them off while my sister and I were chasing the main bully to his house(conveniently on the way to our house).

My sister tripped him and watched as I beat him up(so satisfying). I ended up punching him in the stomach hard enough to put him on the ground. The best part of all this was during the last fight with the main bully, is the fact that we did it right in front of the bully's dad. He got super pissed and walked up to us and started screaming obscenities at us. Luckily our dad was right behind us the whole time in the truck without our knowing and drove in between us and the dad. He said to get in and we did so lickety split.

Both my sister and I were so happy that day. When our dad picked us up I was immediately reminded of a Pelican from Halo picking you up from a hot LZ.

Ooh you know, that reminds of of an incident that happened in junior high, I believe I was eighth grade, so quite some time ago. There was this bigger student, a larger dude, not so much fat as he was just big, maybe 6 foot 2 or so, anyway. He would always push me and jokingly place his hands around his neck as a sign of fake choking, it wasn't real because he put no pressure. Well, I told him to stop it and then went on my way. Well, it happened a few more times, on;y this time, some classmates, friends I knew, watched the whole thing, the assclown comes up from behind me and does it again.

Well, I had no more of it and even punched him in the stomach and told him to back off. The friends who witnessed it told me that they saw what happened, that idiot was in the wrong and they proceeded to squeal on him to the higher ups. Suffice to say, he never spoke to me throughout the rest of the time I was in junior high.

Updated by anonymous

fox_whisper85 said:
Ooh you know, that reminds of of an incident that happened in junior high, I believe I was eighth grade, so quite some time ago. There was this bigger student, a larger dude, not so much fat as he was just big, maybe 6 foot 2 or so, anyway. He would always push me and jokingly place his hands around his neck as a sign of fake choking, it wasn't real because he put no pressure. Well, I told him to stop it and then went on my way. Well, it happened a few more times, on;y this time, some classmates, friends I knew, watched the whole thing, the assclown comes up from behind me and does it again.

Well, I had no more of it and even punched him in the stomach and told him to back off. The friends who witnessed it told me that they saw what happened, that idiot was in the wrong and they proceeded to squeal on him to the higher ups. Suffice to say, he never spoke to me throughout the rest of the time I was in junior high.

*Fox whisper used the Fist of Justice.

Updated by anonymous

ElctrcBoogalord said:
To this day I wonder if me never having Autism in the first place would've made my school years better or not.

Really, don't think of it that way. It's just out of your hands in the same way that being paraplegic or blind would be.

Updated by anonymous

I remember when i went to school i had a lot of bad stuff done to me,like having glue poured on my head,got slammed one time against a blackboard one time as well,yet when i fought back i got in trouble when the kids who hurt me were the ones who should have got in trouble.

Updated by anonymous

Don't take this the wrong way, but this thread was an unexpectedly entertaining read. I reflected on basically every period of my life, contrasting experiences relayed here that were similar to my own as well as imagining other types of experiences I've fortunately not gone through.

It's my belief that being picked on is not the same as being bullied, where the former entails mostly verbal abuse and indirect slights as opposed to the stronger, more concerted efforts of the latter. Although I question if those posting in this thread make that distinction, this thread specifies bullying, and as such I do not view the bulk of my related experiences as being bullied. I was nonetheless picked on from first grade to about tenth grade until I switched schools (for an unrelated reason).

Most of it, though, was just kids who'd acquired a taste for some malice choosing me because I at first appeared to be (and thus was) a more obvious target than most of the other students, but others who stuck out unfavorably were also picked on. Later on, my being a target became known and thus was somewhat ingrained in the social mix. Almost all incidents involved verbal abuse with tons of teasing and taunting.

details, school life

Naturally, I appeared and acted meek too often, but I'm guessing the real problem (can't remember clearly) was my crying in first grade. I just couldn't control myself once I started feeling a certain way and would break down crying every time, so much so that I really did cry over something at least once every day. That continued for some months until it was labeled a "problem" by one or a few school staff. To help me develop self-control, the teacher I liked most at the time would give me a sticker to put on my lunch box each day I didn't cry, which was actually a very strong incentive for me. By the end of first grade, my crying had all but ceased. Corny but true.

However, I had clearly set myself up as an obvious target. Even without the crying, I had made myself a target once, which I learned was something that doesn't go away as problems normally do after addressing their root cause. I understood quickly enough that I had trapped myself in that predicament for the foreseeable future.

Sometimes they got a rise out of me, and I think part of the entertainment was seeing if they could push me to the edge, without pushing me over of course. If they did push me too far, I would snap, go berserk, chase down the instigator, and if I caught them I'd attempt some combination of grabbing, tackling, kicking, and biting. I did that rather than punch because we'd both know that I couldn't hurt by punching lol. I stopped the biting when I bit someone who had Herpes in grade four and we had a scare. I would even sense myself getting close to the edge, so I would position myself closer to the instigator to help me catch them if needed and not make a fool out of myself.

Most of that happened during recess and went unreported and unobserved (too far away). I even developed an index of expected retribution if I did tattle on my tormentors, and so I wouldn't tattle unless I expected some real justice. I understood my predicament in elementary school, so I just focused on surviving the shittiness, improving my situation, and choosing my fights when I could help it. That kept things from getting any worse.

I managed to insulate myself a lot by the end of grade six with friends, not inasmuch as protection but rather by surrounding myself with other "normal" students to change the original students' perception of me. I was careful at first to not let on that there might be "problems" for them as my friends, which improved my currency with the original students who would rather maintain that status quo than make early impressions of themselves as out-and-out assholes to the new students.

They were all students who transferred to our school around grade four, and I was the one who first reached out to them in a meaningful way and became the glue holding our clique together for several years. I saw the opportunity to make real friends, potentially ending my lite purgatory early (before grade seven), and did so. One of them is still my friend today.

From grades seven through nine, most of my bad experiences with students were the result of them having shitty upbringings or lives at home. They were mean to basically everyone but their own. They behaved badly in general, assumed others like me looked down on them, and would lash out at "us" in reciprocation, essentially establishing a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, the middle school had mostly poor and some bad teachers. The high school (grade nine) actually had better teachers but was a hellhole of an institution. Everyone seemed mad or aggressive there, and everyone was glad knowing that school was to be torn down and the student body transferred to a brand new school, except the old school still operates today after all.

All told, I wonder if developing my self-control and studying behaviors for my own survival early on (e.g., learning how to keep my tormentors in check, how our supervisors thought, how to make and keep friends, etc.) laid the groundwork for my development into someone who can be objective and dispassionate to a fault, with a healthy amount of cynicism and judgemental contempt for good measure (see: all my posts).

words

Updated by anonymous

I don't bully, but I do make fun of stupid people, like a nerd who bullies normies type or fat Americans type of thing.

But, really, I was bullied in elementary school (around 3rd grade?). I actually don't remember too much of it, I just got really, really upset when I attacked the other back, and I was the one in trouble. It was really stupid. I think it was good that at such a young age, I wanted to blame the teachers and the students.

Though I was generally happy and played a lot, I was very inhumane to people and things I didn't like back then. I argued menacingly and even gave death threats as a kid, but not really in school. I did it to my parents though when I was around 9. Was kinda funny since they knew I couldn't be serious, but, yeah, I'm not like that anymore.

Updated by anonymous

I was never bullied in school. However, I admit to being a bully from time to time. Where I grew up, and the time period of the early 90s, it was socially unacceptable for someone to be over weight. This one time in Junior High, I had tried to be friends with a kid who could more than be described as morbidly obese, but got tired early on of their talk about how they was happy, and healthy. I would have left well enough alone, except in PT classes, we all was punished for the short-comings of the one fat kid, and after a couple weeks, I joined the band wagon. Following that, there was two months of constant name-calling, and bullying, and making fun of, of this large kid, mostly right after winter break. We continued plum to summer break, which we, during the summer, had not seen the large kid at all.

After summer had ended, and the first day of school, an amazing thing happened. For lunch, sitting at one of the unpopular tables, was the large kid, except, he had lost much of the weight, from what I found out, over the summer, he had been at a exercise-intensive summer camp. To make a long story short, that kid went on to join our popular friends circle, and was an impression on us, that, despite what alot may say, SOME instances of 'bullying' CAN be beneficial to helping a person make massive life decisions for the betterment of themselves, and the people around them.

I dunno, I just felt like talking about the one instance of bully that I recall, when I went to school.

Later in life, when I went to college, and going about my daily life, I haven't experianced bullying with myself or another as a target. I think it's one of those one-in-a-million things, that isn't as common as media and social bloggers would like us to believe.

Updated by anonymous

RubisDrake said:
Though I was generally happy and played a lot, I was very inhumane to people and things I didn't like back then. I argued menacingly and even gave death threats as a kid, but not really in school. I did it to my parents though when I was around 9. Was kinda funny since they knew I couldn't be serious, but, yeah, I'm not like that anymore.

Such a dom. Judging by your avatar, I would've figured you for a subby subslut from Subland.

Updated by anonymous

i was bullied through my first 6 years in school. and it was not just few annoying people. it was entire school. the bullying was basically everything ranging from pushing me down cliffs to just pretending that i didnt exist. on last year in that school even my teacher took part to bullying me (he was constantly laughing along with kids who insulted me and sometimes even added his own insulting comments). i got my first friend when i was 13 or 14.

now im incapable to form friendships like normal human being, i have serious trust issues, im constantly paranoid that my friends are just lying about caring me, i lack relationship permanence completely (read: my brains are incapable to comprehend that people are still my friends even if im not talking with them) and i get extremely clingy really easily out of constant fear of losing people who care about me even a little ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Updated by anonymous

Ratte

Former Staff

My age group in my entire town hated me since I moved here in 2002, only getting worse when I started going to school here a few years later. My stuff was stolen, my work was stolen and damaged, drawings I worked on were scribbled all over with pen or torn up, etc. I would often get pushed into crowds who wanted to start fights in the hallway or cafeteria and groups of people would stalk me home from the bus stop trying to pick fights. At one point someone tried to run me down with their snowmobile. I remember being sick as fuck with the flu for a week and when I came back people kept telling me they hoped I was gone because I killed myself, and "better luck next time".

Even while not in school here, whether during the summers between years or after graduation, I still have people screaming profanities at me from their moving vehicles or occasionally throwing things at me like drink cans.

Other students never helped, teachers never helped, guidance faculty never helped. Even now, many years later, I don't know what I did to deserve any of that, as I was pretty quiet and kept to myself. I put up with some bullshit at my first school but it was nothing like middle/highschool had been. Honestly it got so bad that I took advantage of my birthday being early in the schoolyear, pulled myself out of that school and transferred somewhere else in a different city to finish my highschool diploma. It was bad.

Updated by anonymous

Ratte said:
My age group in my entire town hated me since I moved here in 2002, only getting worse when I started going to school here a few years later. My stuff was stolen, my work was stolen and damaged, drawings I worked on were scribbled all over with pen or torn up, etc. I would often get pushed into crowds who wanted to start fights in the hallway or cafeteria and groups of people would stalk me home from the bus stop trying to pick fights. At one point someone tried to run me down with their snowmobile. I remember being sick as fuck with the flu for a week and when I came back people kept telling me they hoped I was gone because I killed myself, and "better luck next time".

Even while not in school here, whether during the summers between years or after graduation, I still have people screaming profanities at me from their moving vehicles or occasionally throwing things at me like drink cans.

Other students never helped, teachers never helped, guidance faculty never helped. Even now, many years later, I don't know what I did to deserve any of that, as I was pretty quiet and kept to myself. I put up with some bullshit at my first school but it was nothing like middle/highschool had been. Honestly it got so bad that I took advantage of my birthday being early in the schoolyear, pulled myself out of that school and transferred somewhere else in a different city to finish my highschool diploma. It was bad.

:( that sounds like a pretty shitty community you had to deal with. wonder what, if any, reason they had for being so hateful might have been.

Updated by anonymous

Ratte

Former Staff

treos said:
:( that sounds like a pretty shitty community you had to deal with. wonder what, if any, reason they had for being so hateful might have been.

No idea, but I still live here. Back in June was the first time in nearly 14 years someone greeted me with a "good evening" while out on a walk instead of the usual "get a car, faggot" or something equally stupid.

Updated by anonymous

Ratte said:
No idea, but I still live here. Back in June was the first time in nearly 14 years someone greeted me with a "good evening" while out on a walk instead of the usual "get a car, faggot" or something equally stupid.

That... That's not bully, that's just called being an A-hole.

I used to live in a small rural town in the south, and would get snide comments like 'get a hair cut, bitch' or 'only faggots wear pink camo!', which promptly stopped when I started to openly carry firearms, and when those same people called 911 when their obese parents was stroking out, and saw it was the blue-haired queer who popped out of the ambulance to render aid.

Since I've moved to the city, I've noticed that the queer-bashing/clothing-bashing comments have been replaced with the kind of people who find it perfectly normal to job up to an armed person and scream at them for carrying a gun, or the folks who see the rebel flag on my car and thinks it gives them the right to slash one of my tires.

These aren't cases of bullying, these are just cases of people being d-bags.

Updated by anonymous

Never been bullied. But I remember when I was in school I always wished someone would try.

Updated by anonymous

I was bullied all the time when I was young. I did what I could to stay out of trouble but trouble just kept following me around. I found that the most effective way to get people to leave me alone is to bully the bullies right back. When they expect me to never give them trouble, they come after me full force, but when they know I'm going to be a problem for them, they tend to go find someone else to bully.

I've also noticed the same thing on the Internet too. I tend to become highly unpopular when I do it, but it's better than being treated like a doormat because I won't stand up for myself. The only fights I've lost online were with abusive admins, and that's only because they had the power of the banhammer to back their bullshit up.

Updated by anonymous

I imagine a substantial part of the problem is that many bullies manipulate the systems that are meant to halt bullying, beyond just being competent liars or actors; in real life trying to get the victim to lash out physically first, knowing that the victim will then receive greater punishment if they don't successfully masquerade as the victim of the encounter, or taking full advantage of a zero-tolerance policy that punishes both for any altercation while being unconcerned with said punishment; online abusing tools such as blocking or post deletion to prevent the victim from recording evidence of the offense.

To this day, I wonder if it contributed to my dysfunctional late mental development (schizophrenia according to official diagnosis, some ASD or other issues possible); though really I think I just got a shitty hand of cards in growing up because in the places I was in for my early teens to graduation from "highschool" you could almost call everyone who didn't shut down or withdraw a bully. Sometimes staff included.

Updated by anonymous

404_ArtNotFound said:
I imagine a substantial part of the problem is that many bullies manipulate the systems that are meant to halt bullying, beyond just being competent liars or actors; in real life trying to get the victim to lash out physically first, knowing that the victim will then receive greater punishment if they don't successfully masquerade as the victim of the encounter, or taking full advantage of a zero-tolerance policy that punishes both for any altercation while being unconcerned with said punishment; online abusing tools such as blocking or post deletion to prevent the victim from recording evidence of the offense.

To this day, I wonder if it contributed to my dysfunctional late mental development (schizophrenia according to official diagnosis, some ASD or other issues possible); though really I think I just got a shitty hand of cards in growing up because in the places I was in for my early teens to graduation from "highschool" you could almost call everyone who didn't shut down or withdraw a bully. Sometimes staff included.

Zero tolerance policies: because common sense is too complicated

Updated by anonymous

Fenrick said:
Zero tolerance policies: because common sense is too complicated

Common sense? But that would require work!

Updated by anonymous

Fenrick said:
Zero tolerance policies: because common sense is too complicated

Pretty sure it's a mix of "don't care who did what, just stop doing shit" and the assumption that both parties give a damn about the consequences; as I've said often the antagonist doesn't give much of a damn about the consequences so long as they're satisifed with what they've done, and if the other gets in trouble because of them so much the better in their mind.

Many say "You act like we were never kids and have no idea what bullying is." Problem is, they don't understand the mentality of bullies, especially the diversity of mentality, from petty to sociopathical. They say "Just ignore them and they'll lose interest", but to them that's just an even more appealing challenge, seeing what it will take to make you "break". They say "Go get an adult" but often they pick times and places where that's extremely difficult, and trying to draw attention to them to get help often only amuses them or gets you pinned with "causing disruption" because you can't prove they did anything.

Updated by anonymous

I'll sum up my childhood in the nicest way possible:

The teachers thought I was prone to violence due to my Autism despite the fact that my Pacifism is physically compulsive.

The one person who showed any interest in me turned out to have been planning on "curing" my repulsion to sex. I found out and she lied to the superintendent, claiming I was making unwanted advances at her. They believed her because they couldn't believe an autistic person would NOT want sex.

Now I live with my parents, who have successfully conditioned me to feel overwhelming guilt when trying to advocate for myself, which prevents me from getting even the most basic medical help by making me my own worst enemy.

After all of this, I'm unable to grasp the idea of me or anyone else feeling pride in me, to the point that, if complimented, I can't process that it happened at all.

Updated by anonymous

I was born with Asperger's and trust me, the added hostility towards others did not benefit me during school. Known bullies were many, including the schools' administrations.
Instances where my education sucked:
Elementary school
1. Wanted to kill my teacher in first grade.
2. Picked on for hygiene.
3. Just in general, people being unwarranted assholes.
4. Having to be searched daily because some jackass thought it'd be a good idea to say I threatened to bring a shotgun.
Middle school
1. Picked on for weight and hygiene.
2. Principals taking my portable system. [this was the equivalent to cigarettes for me.]
3. Administration always seemed to hate me. I was a very familiar face in the guidance office.
High school
1. Was still picked on for weight and hygiene.
2. People who seemed to think that my full beard made me a freak.

Despite all of this, I managed to endure with the knowledge that many of my classmates would end up in the bottom of a bottle [even after graduating a high ranked school].

And today, I am sitting on my bed awaiting my next donation of blood plasma [the only good deed I am capable of], whilst trying to improve my ability as a writer and artist.

Updated by anonymous

Quick question: Of all the users who have shared their war stories so far, how many of you are female?

Updated by anonymous

I was bullied because I wear thick glasses. I endured it until the end of my schooltime, which was five fucking years of torture.

People kept pushing me around, started fights in which I was always at the losing end or ridiculed me in the worst ways possible (throwing garbage at me, stealing my pens and stuff, messing up my work etc.) It made me depressive. They got away with it, because teachers basically just pretended to care. It went so far that people of other classes began 'contributing', making the matter worse than it was already. Even girls joined the bandwagon, but that's where I snapped and punched a girl in the face when she found it funny to slap my face in front of the students.

But that's the point where things changed. People kept calling me a misogynist or girl hater, I responded with "so what?". Over the time, the excessive bullying subsided and they lost interest in me because I was getting really loud when they tried to pull off something, especially during serious subjects when we really needed all education we could to get us prepared for our final exams. My classmates scolded the bullies because of that - it was a surprising change of tides.

On the last year of school the bullies decided to pick a new target - who gave one of the bully a bloody nose. You should've seen me gloat over his misfortune... This ultimately stopped the bullying entirely, after five years.

---- Cut here 8< ----

Because I live in Germany, things may differ from what you know in American schools or other parts of the world. At that time, we didn't had internet (mid 2000's) and only saw America through movies and television. Bullies were portrayed as muscular or straight-up invulnerable persons, typically jocks or members of sports teams.

I was like 15 years old at that time, your typical insecure wuss. Now I'm 25, looking back I regret to not have thrown tables, chairs or scissors at them. Oh well. At least I know that one of the former bullies is receiving Hartz IV (German welfare for long-time unemployed people), which is the bottom of the barrel in the world of jobs.

Updated by anonymous

This is my first post, I'm really shy, even online, possibly a result of bullying, but I'm not too sure.

I was bullied from around age 7 to 14, with constant insults, and a tiny amount of physical bullying. I remember it got so bad I tried to fight back, but I was too weak and got laughed at when I tried to punch one of the ringleaders. I honestly wanted to kill the bullies, and often fantasized about harming them.

My home life was alright, however I was called a bully by my parents if my brother and I ever had a disagreement, even if he started it.

The thing that really fucked me up was that my parents would always say I act like a serial killer. I have confronted them about it, and they say it was just a inside joke between them (it was the result of my name in one of those occupation generator websites where you enter your name), but when I was growing up, I used to worry and think I was going to turn up like a serial killer. I was terrified about how both myself and many school shooters played video games, and the violent urges I was feeling towards my bullies. Being called a psychopath or 'someone that looks like he is going to shoot the place up' is now one of the only insults that really cuts me deep (especially since harming an innocent person is what I reckon is the worst possible thing you can do).


Even with all this, I think that as horrible as bullying is, it does have some benefits. It teaches you to blend in with the 'normal people', and teaches you to endure the worst verbal insults. It teaches you that most people will take advantage of you if given the opportunity, and shows you just how terrible people can be.

I'm still weird, so the bullies failed, but by the age of 14, I learned how to blend in, and appear normal, and even make some friends, even though since my bullying, I have never really felt confident with who was my friend, and I prepare and almost expect a betrayal, I am able to act like a friend well enough though, so that people are willing to call me a friend. I'm only 19 now, but I'm hoping things will get better with time.

Sorry about the long rant. I was basically thinking about my past and typing what I remembered. Some of the stuff I have read in this thread is terrible, it really is a shame the education industry doesn't stamp out bullying

Updated by anonymous

Chickenpie said:
Even with all this, I think that as horrible as bullying is, it does have some benefits. It teaches you to blend in with the 'normal people', and teaches you to endure the worst verbal insults. It teaches you that most people will take advantage of you if given the opportunity, and shows you just how terrible people can be.

Why would not being yourself be of any benefit to you? To remind yourself that you have to act a certain way around people to appease them?

Updated by anonymous

Aanyi said:
Why would not being yourself be of any benefit to you? To remind yourself that you have to act a certain way around people to appease them?

It helps you blend in, and avoid attracting attention. Sure you can open up to people close to you, but if you were 100% open with someone you just met, it may put them off.
I might be a complete asshole naturally, but if I hide that by acting in a way that isn't myself, and treating people nicely, that is more likely to result in me being treated better.

But I'm no expert, I could be completely wrong

Updated by anonymous

I don't use the term "bully". Bullying is childish. Bullying is trivial.

I call it abuse because that's what it is. These people are abusers and they mess people up.

Fortunately, I have an extremely high tolerance for abuse, leading to a begrudging respect from would-be abusers in school because I simply did not give them the response that they wanted.

It is very important to establish early on the difference between how someone perceives you and how you actually are. You have no reason to be ashamed because someone else is wrong.

Updated by anonymous

I was bullied a tad in elementary school, and bullied a few kids in middle school. Throwing their food in the trash, dropping their books on their heads every day in the PE gym, and randomly smacking them around/beating them up if they fought back.

I was insecure at that age, but it wasn't the reason. I was merely too young to stop being impulsive and understand what I was doing. It was just a spot of fun to me, sort of like riding a roller coaster. And I had some pretty extreme shit to deal with from a young age, so my own prior experiences with bullying were never given any thought. To be fair, getting bullied and shunned by everyone in my elementary school was the safest and happiest place for me at that time.

Highschool led to the arduous "growing up" phase. I didn't bully people any more, I was too busy being a cringey kidult for anything like that. I've always been very empathetic, but somehow, as children it's easy to not realize the weight of your actions. The butterfly effect and personal responsibility are truths shunned by many if not the majority of adults, so it's hard to expect a child to understand why throwing out that kid's lunch and then throwing him head first into a wall isn't just a spot of fun; like a friend making a joke at your expense.

Ironically, while I wasn't fucking up the "weirdos", I was hanging out with them. I'd drop by from time to time and pretend to be interested, just because I felt bad for them always being messed with. I didn't understand that I was one of the people messing with them, and even sadder, they cherished the brief time spent with me regardless of how I usually acted.

To the point, I don't find bullying to be the worst thing in the world. As with all things, there are different extremes to each and every individual scenario. The issue isn't vainly trying to rank or determine how bad it is on a scale with other hardships, but doing the best one personally can to make a positive difference in the world; and to make healthy decisions to transcend the suffering in one's life.

Updated by anonymous

Chickenpie said:
It helps you blend in, and avoid attracting attention. Sure you can open up to people close to you, but if you were 100% open with someone you just met, it may put them off.
I might be a complete asshole naturally, but if I hide that by acting in a way that isn't myself, and treating people nicely, that is more likely to result in me being treated better.

But I'm no expert, I could be completely wrong

Until they bully you for something you can't change, or the bullying starts becoming a form of abuse. Look up "Gaslighting". It's a form of bullying specifically meant to drive the victim to insanity specifically by making them believe they are. It's legally considered a form of abuse in some countries, and torture in a few as well. It's also why I'm such a wreck at this point in my life. It's most effective toward people with altruistic tendencies, as well as people with no friends, optimists, and especially children.

Updated by anonymous

kamimatsu said:
Until they bully you for something you can't change, or the bullying starts becoming a form of abuse. Look up "Gaslighting". It's a form of bullying specifically meant to drive the victim to insanity specifically by making them believe they are.

To add to this, my parents gaslighted me for years. I remember one time asking my step-father if I could walk my bicycle up to the nearby gas station to use the coin-operated air pump to fill up my flat front tire. He put his thumb on the tire and pushed the tire all the way down to the rim, thus proving the tire was indeed flat... and then he said, "this tire isn't flat; what do you really want to do?" When I protested and pointed out that he had proved that it was flat he again said it wasn't and that I obviously was lying and he wanted the "truth." I protested a third time and he threatened to beat me up if I didn't "tell the truth."

So I had to make up a lie on the spot to keep him from beating me up. To this day he believes the lie I made up and absolutely refuses to acknowledge that the tire was flat. This is just one of many examples of gaslighting that I had to endure, usually at the hands of my own parents.

Updated by anonymous

I hadn't known that gaslighting is a specific and named phenomenon until now.

Only years after we left her did I reach the conclusion that my mother is a pathological liar at minimum and has been so to some degree for all my life. Her lies follow a pattern where, in the moment, she decides whether a person, thing, or memory is a "good one" or a "bad one" and shifts all her related perceptions accordingly.

Bad ones get demonized and their negative qualities amplified whereas good ones get extolled or even revered a little and their negative qualities minimized. Uncertainties get selectively promoted to facts or dismissed along with actual inconvenient facts to better suit her narrative. This behavior includes bald-faced fabrications inserted into her current narrative as desired.

She is much more likely to lie when what she is saying can't easily or at all be disproved since only she was "present" for the event among her group of listeners or "remembers" what happened months or years ago with total conviction and would brook no dissenters. Combine that tendency with her real, permanent physical injury, and it's no wonder she was a regular hypochondriac, because no one could disprove that she "feels" a certain way. She wouldn't contradict what she thought she knew or what she thought someone else knew to maintain believability, but she would constantly twist and tweak reality ever in her favor.

abstract story of how I overcame her gaslighting

I'm convinced she believes everything she says because she doesn't hold herself accountable for conflicting remembrances some time after establishing previous narratives. Case in point was a pair of incidents when I was eight or so. I had noticed her inconsistencies when she would occasionally make claims based on prior knowledge or decisions that I "should have known" but didn't. Essentially, she would get very angry and I would get in trouble for breaking house rules that were never told to me though she claimed otherwise. That was her challenging the reality of an 8-year-old vis-à-vis gaslighting.

After enough of those stupid incidents I made a point of specifically remembering the next incident that seemed unfounded to the absolute best of my ability, since gaslighting relies upon exposing and exploiting nagging doubts. Lo and behold, some months after the next incident (it says a lot that I predicted another "stupid incident" would occur and was correct) I got in trouble for acting within the confines of its house rule. When I challenged her on that, she claimed she never told me the first house rule and expressly forbade what the first rule allowed with her second house rule. To rationalize the reality I remembered, I reasoned that a normal person wouldn't forget the very reason why they were enraged just months ago, especially not when they become enraged a second time for the directly opposing reason.

Because my confidence in my very reality was on trial, I carefully scrutinized potential explanations for her reversal before reaching an ultimate conclusion. Since I had paid specific attention any time the first house rule became relevant before the second incident, I was very confident that she never showed signs of changing her mind right up until the second incident. Every explanation I could imagine that might justify her for both incidents just didn't hold up to counter-inspection, and I reasoned that any explanations I couldn't imagine might as well not be real (because chasing phantoms is fruitless).

My final conclusion was that she simply forgot her house rule from the first incident, that the rule was at first expected after the incident established it, then later assumed as I never broke it, and finally forgotten since it hadn't needed to be enforced or considered for months. Then I did something she (arbitrarily) didn't like involving the particulars of the first house rule, and she invented a directly contradicting rule during the second incident as a self-serving outlet for her aggression toward me. Truly, an imagined transgression.

But is forgetting something the same as lying about it later? Well, not exactly. But claiming something never happened that really did, forgotten or not, reveals a critical unreliability in the foundation of her steadfast conviction (i.e., the strength of her words and beliefs should not be used to gauge their trustworthiness). Further, forgetting a result made in the throes of one incident and claiming the direct opposite in the throes of a later incident, spaced not too far apart, reveals a critical lack of credibility in her memory.

Thus, I had finally established a precedent for my long-suspected belief that my memory was fine and my mother's was not.

As I was typing this story, the irony of it all was not lost on me. No one can challenge my version of events, and indeed my memory is imperfect. I had to rebuild this memory around the few pieces that I remembered with absolute certainty, trying to paint a sharp image from the bits of indistinct thoughtstuff that rose up from the ether of seemingly forgotten memories, though pristine in their ring of truth.

Updated by anonymous

I'll make a long story short for my bullying, since I don't actually remember too much anyway. Most of what I remember is from secondary school, although in primary school I think bullying was less of a problem.

I believe the reason for there being little bullying when I was in primary school was because I actually stood up for myself (eventually) and punched this guy. I'm mostly a pacifist, but sometimes violence is the only anwser. I was fairly popular in primary school, my ADHD left me hyper and I guess that energy attracted people. Especially the staff because when behaving I tended to be a favourite.

I have aspergers and therefore went to a special school for people with mild difficulties. It was boarding, and unfortunately, I didn't have many friends on the wing where I lived. There was a roughly equal split of people who didn't like me, people who thought I was ok, and people who liked me. Although my only "friend" on the wing was somebody who I often messed around with and that caused larger problems.

Which speaking of which, left me a target for bullying. It didn't help that I was put into some classes with people I didn't get on with. To be honest, the people who liked me tended to be either nerdy or just not very academic (or both). In the end, my best friend got beat up and his glasses smashed. And I was bullied online when somebody made a public Facebook page taking the piss out of me. Of course, these bullies are now the ones who are stuck with crappy jobs and little education.

Also, one other pupil had anger issues and got stressed out really easily. Sometimes she would overreact at the smallest things. I remember saying that gangman style is catchy and annoying and because she got pissed off I got kicked out of the class.

In their (the bullies) defences, I was quite silly and acted inappropriate sometimes. I was in detention and isolation fairly regularly (at least in my younger years). Some really Crazy stuff has happened at my school though, and most pupils either seem to hate the school or love it. I mostly hate it but there were a few good things that come out of it. And sure, I'm still unpopular despite thinking I'm smart (and ironically enough, with a Terrible self esteem), but at college there hasn't been any bullying at all really.

Today I have bad self esteem and confidence, among a few issues such as anxiety and loneliness. I also believe I have a lot of repressed anger, partly related to all the bullying from before. Honestly, I feel bad for however I take it out own, but fortunately, that hasn't happened yet.

Updated by anonymous

wow, this gaslighting stuff is majorly fucked up. glad i never had to deal with that or people who made of it. judging by the descriptions in this thread those that do gaslight people are themselves insane from the start.

Updated by anonymous

treos said:
wow, this gaslighting stuff is majorly fucked up. glad i never had to deal with that or people who made of it. judging by the descriptions in this thread those that do gaslight people are themselves insane from the start.

It's basically a requirement to have no sense of morality, or at the very least, no sense of empathy toward the victim as a living being.

The way it's done, most victims never find out that they aren't crazy. I'm conditioned to the point that I would take a bullet for my torturer, even though I know it's wrong to do that, and it has led to me thinking I deserve it because I value my family's lives.

Updated by anonymous

I was bullied a lot during middle school, now that I think about it. I still remember the name of one of the girls who bullied me a lot... Sophia.

Of course, this was before I came out of the closet, and ultimately, she's the one who sort of forced me out. I was in English class, and she was assigned a seat a few rows ahead of me. For once, I was actually trying to focus on my work, and I must've been totally immersed in my work.

You know those little things that the asshats in your classes always made... they were these little bits of folded-up paper that people would fold into a rubber band and shoot at each other? Well, either she was a great marksman, or it was just a strike of luck, but while I wasa just about to finish my packet, she had shot the damn thing right into my right eye. Of course, I cried out in agony, and her and her little cunt friends (yes, I hold grudges against people who fuck up my vision for the rest of my life) started dying in laughter. The teacher, being the useless bitch she is, just sent me to the nurses office and gave Sophia a warning. No write-ups, no suspensions, just a fucking slap on the wrist. I can still see out of that eye, but sometimes it's difficult to focus on things, and I get a headache from time to time because of it.

A few days after that, she started calling me things like "fagboy" and a few other things, so finally being fed up, I finally shot right out of my seat, slammed my hands down on my desk and shouted at her, "Well maybe I am gay!! So fucking what?"

The classroom got dead silent, and even the teacher looked surprised. I just sat back down and got back to work, breaking lead in my pencil left and right. From then on, she kept her insults to a minimum.

Updated by anonymous

One just a few minutes ago. My brother has the job of walking my dog in the afternoon. He didn't, and the dog took a dump where I eat. I asked why he didn't walk the dog, and he said he didn't know he had to, even though it's been his job for four years and it's not even close to the first time he's neglected him. I told him it's been four years, and now I've locked myself in my bedroom waiting for him to decide what to do. It's also not the first time he's broken down a door unprovoked, but with my arm the way it is, if he does it this time, I'm screwed. The last time was why my arm is the way it is in the first place.

Updated by anonymous

*sigh*

I'm so disappointed in this thread. The amount of SJWs in this thread is just unbearable.

Of ALL the things you all have to worry about is...bullying? really? Not broken bones or what your going to be doing for the rest of your life? You chose to worry about """BULLYING"""? Seriously? Just simply ignore the """bullys""", THAT'S IT! This rhetoric is exactly why SJWs and feminazis ALWAYS get what they want. You want to fight a """bully"""? Than you be suppressing that """bullys""" freedom of speech, and that is bullying in it itself. Do you want to censor freedom of speech? Huh?

I'm sorry, this thread is HIGHLY stupid.

Updated by anonymous

-Anonymous- said:
I was bullied a lot during middle school, now that I think about it. I still remember the name of one of the girls who bullied me a lot... Sophia.

Of course, this was before I came out of the closet, and ultimately, she's the one who sort of forced me out. I was in English class, and she was assigned a seat a few rows ahead of me. For once, I was actually trying to focus on my work, and I must've been totally immersed in my work.

You know those little things that the asshats in your classes always made... they were these little bits of folded-up paper that people would fold into a rubber band and shoot at each other? Well, either she was a great marksman, or it was just a strike of luck, but while I wasa just about to finish my packet, she had shot the damn thing right into my right eye. Of course, I cried out in agony, and her and her little cunt friends (yes, I hold grudges against people who fuck up my vision for the rest of my life) started dying in laughter. The teacher, being the useless bitch she is, just sent me to the nurses office and gave Sophia a warning. No write-ups, no suspensions, just a fucking slap on the wrist. I can still see out of that eye, but sometimes it's difficult to focus on things, and I get a headache from time to time because of it.

A few days after that, she started calling me things like "fagboy" and a few other things, so finally being fed up, I finally shot right out of my seat, slammed my hands down on my desk and shouted at her, "Well maybe I am gay!! So fucking what?"

The classroom got dead silent, and even the teacher looked surprised. I just sat back down and got back to work, breaking lead in my pencil left and right. From then on, she kept her insults to a minimum.

I would have punched that whiny little bitch square in the face and broke her nose if she did that to me. Girl or not, someone like her deserves getting revenge on. I don't care if it's revenge, immature, or wrong, and I don't care about what any SJW's say about it. Self-defense is justified.

Updated by anonymous

Serperior09876 said:
Of ALL the things you all have to worry about is...bullying? really? Not broken bones or what your going to be doing for the rest of your life? You chose to worry about """BULLYING"""? Seriously? Just simply ignore the """bullys""", THAT'S IT!

Ever tried ignoring having your school books ripped in half, being repeatedly shoved into brick walls or having a chair thrown at your face? It doesn't work very well.

Updated by anonymous

Serperior09876 said:
*sigh*

I'm so disappointed in this thread. The amount of SJWs in this thread is just unbearable.

Of ALL the things you all have to worry about is...bullying? really? Not broken bones or what your going to be doing for the rest of your life? You chose to worry about """BULLYING"""? Seriously? Just simply ignore the """bullys""", THAT'S IT! This rhetoric is exactly why SJWs and feminazis ALWAYS get what they want. You want to fight a """bully"""? Than you be suppressing that """bullys""" freedom of speech, and that is bullying in it itself. Do you want to censor freedom of speech? Huh?

I'm sorry, this thread is HIGHLY stupid.

You try and ignore corrective rape and tell me how that works out, okay?

Updated by anonymous

BlueDingo said:
Ever tried ignoring having your school books ripped in half, being repeatedly shoved into brick walls or having a chair thrown at your face? It doesn't work very well.

Well your going to have to, because freedom of speech (our great First Amendment and the UNs declaration and all) is more valuable than your feelings. Being bullied? Turn of your computer screen. That simple.

And don't even say that the "schools are being too soft on bullys" when in reality, SJWs and feminazis have control of our schools and are raising people to be a bunch of crybabies.

Again, this rhetoric is why we have so much censorship in this world, everybodies turning into a crybaby.

Updated by anonymous

kamimatsu said:
You try and ignore corrective rape and tell me how that works out, okay?

Rape? Now that's just FEMANIZI talk right there. It's their right of speech. You don't like it, than your censoring them. So don't. That simple.

Updated by anonymous

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