Hello everyone!
So I wrote my first longer story, with my english gadered from youtube videos and e621.
So I just want to know who good is my writing? Where should I develop? What did I got wrong?

You can read the story here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23157009/
It's about a dragon couple who steal from the wrong cave.

Wish you all a wonderful day/night/morning.

*Casts spell* Resurrect!

Well, the first thing that stands out is that it is not formatted like a story at all. Just, structurally, I'm not sure what you're going for here. Don't take this the wrong way but... Usually writing involves... Paragraphs.

Writing a story that is so heavily based on dialogue is also nearly impossible to do well. I think I've read one story of that nature that is any good, and that's by a published author who's won several awards.

Honestly, what I suggest is you try writing in a standard format. Focus more on paragraphs and standard description, use dialogue where appropriate, but not in excess. And also use more standard formatting - this "dash before every line" thing is... odd, to say the least.

Clawdragons said:
Well, the first thing that stands out is that it is not formatted like a story at all. Just, structurally, I'm not sure what you're going for here. Don't take this the wrong way but... Usually writing involves... Paragraphs.

Writing a story that is so heavily based on dialogue is also nearly impossible to do well. I think I've read one story of that nature that is any good, and that's by a published author who's won several awards.

Honestly, what I suggest is you try writing in a standard format. Focus more on paragraphs and standard description, use dialogue where appropriate, but not in excess. And also use more standard formatting - this "dash before every line" thing is... odd, to say the least.

Judging by the format, it looks like greentext short story to me. With that being said its not really my cup of tea, but I'm type of goy (my preferred pronoun) that likes to read whatever people write on the internet. So I found it interesting to say the least. Take clawdragons advice and I would of liked it more if they were stealing to support a drug habit.