So, J Lube, it's a powdered lubricant concentrate.
Comes in a 10 oz. plastic bottle, you add water too it, it makes lube (or apparently really sweet bubble blowing bubbles with some other stuff added).

I just got a bottle in the mail from Amazon, the 10 oz. there is $15.
Depending on concentration that 10 oz. bottle is supposed to make 6-8 gallons of lube.
$2-3 per gallon of lube is stupidly cheap.

So, has anyone tried this stuff out?

I found a website with mixing tips, tried an experiment out.
Did 3 bowls of the stuff, mixed all of it in one bottle, pour around equal amounts in each.
1 bowl I used my stick blender, then microwaved it for 4 minutes.
1 I simply stirred with a fork and microwaved for 4 minutes.
Last bowl went into a saucepan, heated on the stove top until the bubbles from boiling started to climb the side of the pan.
Allowed them all to cool to room temp.

Blender, no good, technically lube but only compared to water.
Apparently the blades cut through the polymer chains and ruin the lubricating ability of the stuff.

The other 2 turned out about the same thickness/lubrication-wise.
The stove top kept more lumps than the microwave.
Both left a coating of slime on the inside of my bowl/pan.
I'm hoping a long soak in water will clear that up.

If anyone knows a cleaner, and better way to mix the stuff up, I'd appreciate any tips.

are you drunk Halite?

I fill an old BD cumlube container (250mL squeeze bottle) about 3/4 full of warm water, spray maybe half a teaspoon of the powder in, then shake it up. I continue to add small amounts of powder, shaking after each, until I've added a bit over a tablespoon.

This makes a thick lube that can be used immediately, although there will still be a few small lumps. If you want, you can let it sit in the fridge for a while and it will thicken further as the lumps dissolve.

Are we discussing the kind of lube that makes it easier to shove things up your ass?

Theclarinetist said:
>Cleaning lube

are you drunk Halite?

What?

JoeX said:
Are we discussing the kind of lube that makes it easier to shove things up your ass?

It can certainly be used for that, yes.

Wyvrn said:
I fill an old BD cumlube container (250mL squeeze bottle) about 3/4 full of warm water, spray maybe half a teaspoon of the powder in, then shake it up. I continue to add small amounts of powder, shaking after each, until I've added a bit over a teaspoon.

This makes a thick lube that can be used immediately, although there will still be a few small lumps. If you want, you can let it sit in the fridge for a while and it will thicken further as the lumps dissolve.

I, uh... need larger volumes.

Halite said:
I, uh... need larger volumes.

Are you starting a lube company?

Halite said:
It can certainly be used for that, yes.

why are you using ass lube on your stove and microwave? that is why I think are you drunk or somethig

TheHuskyK9 said:
Are you starting a lube company?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotion_play

Theclarinetist said:
why are you using ass lube on your stove and microwave? that is why I think are you drunk or something

Microwave is a recommended method of thickening the lube.
Also, it is sterile and clean when you mix it.
It's only dirty when used.

Edit: Stove top was an experiment to see if it was heat, or actual microwave the does the thickening.
Since I can do a larger amount of stove than microwave, due to space constraints of my microwave safe containers, and really the microwave itself.

Halite said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotion_play

Hum, the stuff one learns these days...

Stove top was an experiment to see if it was heat, or actual microwave the does the thickening.
Since I can do a larger amount of stove than microwave, due to space constraints of my microwave safe containers, and really the microwave itself.

Have you tried refrigerating it?

My jimmes are rustled by this thread...

Xch3l said:
Have you tried refrigerating it?

Yes/no. I'm putting it in the fridge overnight, I just got it today.

Or do you mean just mixed, no heat applied, refrigerated?

Peekaboo said:
...
Go on.

The porn is better than anything you'd get out of me >.>

I just like to basically cover myself in lube while I jerk my gherkin.
In the shower/bathtub obviously, makes a huge mess.
A process that is quite expensive with most lube options.

Kämpfer_Xeon said:

I’m hoping you cleaned that fork

Yes, clearly.
It was actually a lot easier to clean than the containers I used.

Halite said:
jerk my gherkin.

Lol

Halite said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotion_play

I'm learning!

Dear God. You're going to slather yourself in lube and try to clear 15 trucks using only your body.

I'm surprised so many people here have never heard of lotion play/goo-kkake.
It's one of my favorite fetishes, easily in my top 3.

I suppose it's a fairly uncommon fetish, even in the Japanese world where it originated.

Though, here in the US we do have "lube wrestling" which is basically the same idea, but with less sex.

Edit:

Peekaboo said:
Wont ya drains get fucked up when ya try n' flush down 30 gallons of somewhat thick lube?

Nah, I'd really only use about 1 liter at a time tops, and it's thinned out due to use.
Add to that it's water soluble, and salt breaks it down, and it should be easy enough to avoid clogs, if I'm smart about it.

Peekaboo said:
Wont ya drains get fucked up when ya try n' flush down 30 gallons of somewhat thick lube?

just oil... ask Der Trabenfuchs :P

Theclarinetist said:
just oil... ask Der Trabenfuchs :P

Yeah, oil lubes are not something to put down drains.
And frankly, not something I'd want to use for this anyway.
They take forever to clean off of yourself, I'd be slippery for like a week after, instead of until I shower.

Theclarinetist said:
just oil... ask Der Trabenfuchs :P

Can't, he left us forever

TheHuskyK9 said:
he left us forever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVpRhP8PkqE

Halite said:
Yes/no. I'm putting it in the fridge overnight, I just got it today.

Or do you mean just mixed, no heat applied, refrigerated?

Now that you mention it, both. At first I meant just mix and into teh fridge

The porn is better than anything you'd get out of me >.>

I just like to basically cover myself in lube while I jerk my gherkin.

Heh, gherkin...

In the shower/bathtub obviously, makes a huge mess.
A process that is quite expensive with most lube options.

By any chance are you a relative of TheTrabenFuchs? You like to bath with oils while being in the tub :P

Edit: I read that and I gotta say it sounds really interesting.

Xch3l said:
...
By any chance are you a relative of TheTrabenFuchs? You like to bath with oils while being in the tub :P

Uh, no, definitely not.
Wouldn't ever use oil, for any personal lube purpose to be honest.
Oil belongs in cars, we have better water based lubes for people.
And they're more adaptable too, lube too thick? Just add more water.
Too thin? Heat some of the water out of it, or leave the bottle open and it will evaporate.
And, it comes in powdered form.

Halite said:
Uh, no, definitely not.
Wouldn't ever use oil, for any personal lube purpose to be honest.
Oil belongs in cars, we have better water based lubes for people.
And they're more adaptable too, lube too thick? Just add more water.
Too thin? Heat some of the water out of it, or leave the bottle open and it will evaporate.
And, it comes in powdered form.

Oil is good for the skin and used in cooking also

J Lube is a polyethylene glycol based. It's safe to put however much you want down the drain, it dissolves completely in water.

To make it easier to measure out, only 25% of the powder is PEG, the other 75% is a filler, which unfortunately is sugar, meaning the mixed lube doesn't keep very well, and shouldn't be used in vaginas due to risk of yeast infection.

Halite said:
Uh, no, definitely not.
Wouldn't ever use oil, for any personal lube purpose to be honest.
Oil belongs in cars, we have better water based lubes for people.

I was kidding...

And they're more adaptable too, lube too thick? Just add more water.
Too thin? Heat some of the water out of it, or leave the botte open and it will evaporate.
And, it comes in powdered form.

Well, I have no experience with lubes (or just about anything related)

Oh, God. I don't even want to think about being covered in slime. Yecchhh! I don't like the texture of slimy things.

ಠ_ಠ

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

ಠ‿ಠ

Well, J-Lube should come out of your pan rather easily, just add warm water and scrub a little with a cloth to hurry it along, but besides that you should really get an old or cheap pot and designate that one for lube cooking.
I know I wouldn't do that in my 50€ pan.

Halite said:
Microwave is a recommended method of thickening the lube.
Also, it is sterile and clean when you mix it.
It's only dirty when used.

Edit: Stove top was an experiment to see if it was heat, or actual microwave the does the thickening.
Since I can do a larger amount of stove than microwave, due to space constraints of my microwave safe containers, and really the microwave itself.

Definitely only the heat, microwave is preferable because it heats the entire water/lube body more evenly, instead of just the bottom the heat will be generated on all surfaces and up to 1-2cm inside the water body.

As for the drain, you should be good if you let warm water run, even if there is some drying in the drain it should get dissolved the next time you shower normally, or if you directly shower afterwards anyway.

JoeX said:
Oh, God. I don't even want to think about being covered in slime. Yecchhh! I don't like the texture of slimy things.

More slippery than slimy, especially if you thin it out with some water.

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

Hai Patchi!

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

this

NotMeNotYou said:
Well, J-Lube should come out of your pan rather easily, just add warm water and scrub a little with a cloth to hurry it along, but besides that you should really get an old or cheap pot and designate that one for lube cooking.
I know I wouldn't do that in my 50€ pan.

Definitely only the heat, microwave is preferable because it heats the entire water/lube body more evenly, instead of just the bottom the heat will be generated on all surfaces and up to 1-2cm inside the water body.
...

Yeah, I only have a few pans, the one that's about the right size is Teflon coated, so I didn't use it, not sure how that would do with the lube.
I have a smaller one that I used for the experiment, stainless steel, it's not bad, but I'd need to do 2 batches to fill my 1 liter bottle I have.
The next bigger one is a pasta pot, high sides, large volume, but it's probably my most used pot so ruining it would suck hard.
I might look for a thrift shop, see if I can find a decent metal pot for cheap.

ಠ_ಠ

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't gone completely insane by some of these threads.

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't gone completely insane by some of these threads.

oh come now Patchi you say that about every thread

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't gone completely insane by some of these threads.

The slayer of creepiness is not amused

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I live nearby to Spectrum-Nasco, the Canadian distributor of J Lube. Meaning there's an actual storefront I can walk up to and buy copious quantities of butt lubricant from.

They're a weird company though, selling educational supplies, farm equipment, healthcare supplies, and funfare toys and candy out of the same building/warehouse.

It was an interesting experience buying 3 bottles of the stuff from a couple old ladies who are more used to selling colouring books to teachers. They didn't know what it was, but one of them was curious and read the label.

"Oh, you can use it like a powdered soap. It's a soap, is it?"

I just smiled and nodded and walked out of there with my ears burning.

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

Xch3l said:
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ლಠ益ಠ)ლ

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't gone completely insane by some of these threads.

Hey, covering a girl in water based lube is just like her taking a shower, plus a bit of a polymer dispersed in the shower water that makes it thicker and slippery.

Nothing wrong with shower porn(except for golden shower, but that's a whole different thing, and not something I have any interest in whatsoever).

Halite said:
Hey, covering a girl in water based lube is just like her taking a shower, plus a bit of a polymer dispersed in the shower water that makes it thicker and slippery.

The fact you brought up a girl in your post confuses me considering all you talk about is cocks.

Patchi said:
The fact you brought up a girl in your post confuses me considering all you talk about is cocks.

Eh, when in Rome.

I'm actually bi, with a stronger attraction to females than males.
I also like penises.
If I was able to custom create a romantic companion, it would probably be a girl with a penis.

All that being said, I have voluntarily sworn off dating, not a fan of it anymore.

Patchi said:
all you talk about is cocks.

post #443845

Halite said:
Eh, when in Rome.

I'm actually bi, with a stronger attraction to females than males.
I also like penises.
If I was able to custom create a romantic companion, it would probably be a girl with a penis.

All that being said, I have voluntarily sworn off dating, not a fan of it anymore.

>Stronger attraction to females

I..

I don't believe that.

Patchi said:
>Stronger attraction to females

I..

I don't believe that.

It's true.
TBH I really only find men attractive up until it's a real person.
I mean, there's probably some guys out there that I'd have sex with, but I've never met one.
I have had a handful of girlfriends before I gave up on dating in general, 5 or 6 if I recall correctly.
Sexual interaction with 2 of those.

Never actually had any intimate contact with a man, not even a kiss.
I like penis more than I like men, if that makes sense?

Peekaboo said:
I'd say that's a common thing.
It's also part responsible for the shemale craze.

Eh, big problem there is most of them are still men.
A tit job and a dress don't a woman make.

Patchi, weren't you flying out to Arizona to prove some kind of point anyway? I forget.

Also, BD sells 9 packs of lube. Not sure if that helps but this conversation has sidetracked quite a bit from that.

EDFDarkAngel1 said:
Patchi, weren't you flying out to Arizona to prove some kind of point anyway? I forget.

Also, BD sells 9 packs of lube. Not sure if that helps but this conversation has sidetracked quite a bit from that.

Yeah, I've still got a few bottles of cumlube.
It's good stuff, and I usually dilute it by a good 30% too, for personal preference in consistency.
Kinda like getting 30% more for the same price.

Either way I wanted to give this J Lube stuff a try, see how it is.
Definitely not as thick as the cumlube by the way, if anyone was curious how it stacks up.
If I boiled the water out significantly more, I might manage the cumlube thickness, but not for certain, and again I prefer it a bit thinner anyway.

EDFDarkAngel1 said:
Patchi, weren't you flying out to Arizona to prove some kind of point anyway? I forget.

Also, BD sells 9 packs of lube. Not sure if that helps but this conversation has sidetracked quite a bit from that.

Ohhh EDF is being fresh again! also the sidenote the cumlube is great stuff alone I normally don't dilute it at all just for simplicity sake

EDFDarkAngel1 said:
Patchi, weren't you flying out to Arizona to prove some kind of point anyway? I forget.

That's between you and me, babe.

Does being on the site staff mean you and Darkangel get "vacations" together Patchi?

I don't even care that I'm necroposting, because there will never be another time that I can use this link.

SirAntagonist said:
I don't even care that I'm necroposting, because there will never be another time that I can use this link]

Am I the only one who sees the same items in the 'Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed'?

Because those seem like ingredients for a recipe called "World domination"...

SirAntagonist said:
I don't even care that I'm necroposting, because there will never be another time that I can use this link.

='-'=

SirAntagonist said:
I don't even care that I'm necroposting, because there will never be another time that I can use this link.

Problem there is the $1500 price tag.
For the same amount of lube, jlube would cost about $20-30, maybe as much as $60 if you want it really thick.
For $1500 you could probably fill a small pool with jlube.

ಠ_ಠ

Patchi said:
ಠ_ಠ

We're going to throw you in a pool of lube Patchi.

Xch3l said:
Am I the only one who sees the same items in the 'Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed'?

Because those seem like ingredients for a recipe called "World domination"...

"Large Vinyl Gender Neutral Asian." Dibs on the band name! Super weird. Also, if you have $101,500, why are you buying your tourbillon titanium chronograh on Amazon? Oh my God, the reviews for the doll.
http://www.amazon.com/Large-Vinyl-Gender-Neutral-Asian/product-reviews/B004OU8J4G

JoeX said:
"Large Vinyl Gender Neutral Asian." Dibs on the band name! Super weird. Also, if you have $101,500, why are you buying your tourbillon titanium chronograh on Amazon? Oh my God, the reviews for the doll.
http://www.amazon.com/Large-Vinyl-Gender-Neutral-Asian/product-reviews/B004OU8J4G

"I bought this to tutor my children in advanced mathematics but this is actually an inanimate doll and not an Asian child. Would not do business with again "

Four stars... :P

And the name...

That's old news.

Although, I rather enjoyed reading the old comments. Can't believe that was 2 months ago.

Halite said:
For $1500 you could probably fill a small pool with jlube.

If I had $1500, I would probably sneak into the public pool at night and turn the entire hot tub into lube.

Xch3l said:
Am I the only one who sees the same items in the 'Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed'?

Because those seem like ingredients for a recipe called "World domination"...

I for one await the coming of the lube-powered, infrared-controlled Esix Extend & Extinguish deathbot.

Halite said:
We're going to throw you in a pool of lube Patchi.

I'm game for that, *makes twitchy fingers in patchis direction*

Esme_Belles said:
I'm game for that, *makes twitchy fingers in patchis direction*

:3

...

None of you will touch me.

Ever.

Unless you pay me.

Patchi said:
...

None of you will touch me.

Ever.

Unless you pay me.

$5 to touch the Patchi

aw, i has no money :/

TheHuskyK9 said:
$5 to touch the Patchi

$34?

EDF can touch me for free.

Ufufufu~

Rest of you can pay me monies.

Patchi said:
EDF can touch me for free.

Ufufufu~

Rest of you can pay me monies.

But what about ippiki? Besides, I have a crane. I don't need my hands.

Patchi said:
EDF can touch me for free.

Ufufufu~

Rest of you can pay me monies.

Giggity.

Patchi said:
Rest of you can pay me monies.

Baby I'll make it hail...
Chucks nickels and dimes at Patchi.