Alright, Felt like I really needed to get this off my chest given
current events and seeing no matter where I look the guy keeps popping
up.

Really Unpopular opinion time:
I Hate Sonic Fox, The Esports gamer and
current esport player of the year. T T)

I can't guarantee you the reason I don't like him with such a
passion is a good reason since stuff like that gets into some
real subjective territory haha. But, I can safely tell you at
the time being that mear mention of the guys name ignites a
special type of flame within me. After having it rage on for
who knows how long now, I can say that the way I'm feeling isn't
flat out hatred; It's also an unbearable and almost consuming amount
of jealousy.

The Funny thing is that it wasn't always this way. Flashback about
2 years ago; You'd see me calling the guy "Awesome" and "So Cool!"
I mean the guy was a well-known furry gamer; Who could be cooler
than that! He was what I aspired to be and one day I wish I'd meet him.
What changed this wishful line of thinking is that one day, I did.

I was playing some PvP battles on a fighting game called "Skullgirls."
Things were going as they usually go: Some good battles, Some bad battles,
Just general shenanigans. Then it happened...

About 70 or 90 ping was a pretty rare sight to see as far as PvP
matches go and of course, I agreed to the match, Not knowing at the
time who I was fighting until I went to select my character.
Saying I was freaking out would be an understatement, After
taking a quick screenshot before the battle started, I began the match.
Of course, I was going to lose given the guy I'm fighting and all but,
It's how I loss that really affected me.

Turns out SonicFox is one of those players who goes out of their way
to insult the other player during and after the fight with every
video gaming slight known. Not going as far as outright sending me
messages telling me I suck but, pretty darn close with all the t-bagging
and general trolling.

Now it wasn't the first time I've ran into a player
like that, Heck their all over the place in games
like that. What made THAT encounter different is that
I Looked Up to this guy and He was my Hero for the
longest time. Finding out that he's that kind of guy
really cemented the Idea in my head:

"I don't know him."

"He's not my Friend, I'm just his Fan"

And that "I shouldn't blindly look up to someone based on such shallow

things, Less they turn out to be a wolf in Fox's clothing."

Had to take a few days from the internet after the revelation
that the person I idolized turned out to be the exact kind of
person I hate running into. And what makes this worst is that
I can't escape the shadow of this looming figure. No matter
where I look his success just keeps popping up!

First, it started with winning a ton of fighting game tournaments.
(Guess I can't watch Tournaments on youtube anymore, Less I remember.)

Then him getting his name on a permanent part of a stage in Skullgirls
in a spot that's pretty hard to miss.
(Guess I can't play on the training stage anymore, Less I remember.)

And now him being esports Gamer of the Year,
He's probably apart of history now!

*Sigh*
Look, I am glad that another person is achieving their dreams and
doing what they want to do. But it's just a horrible feeling when
someone who's left such a bad impression on you, achieve so much in
such a way where you can't escape it even when you're trying your best
to avoid them at all cost.

So this is where I stand right now, Really bummed out and looking
for advice in moving on from a former role model, turn villain, Who's
successes I can't escape.

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated,
Honestly, I'm feeling better already since I've been
sitting on this spite for who knows how long. ╹‿╹)

My motto is "why should i concern myself with idiots who otherwise don't give a crap about me?".

I don't know weather he was recording the game session and was doing the insulting to entertain his viewers, but i do think that teabagging and such are otherwise pretty meaningless - unless it is followed by out-of-session PM insulting, then the guy is being a real dick (printscreen and post on forums to ruin the guy's rep is allways fun :) ).

You got a first-hand lesson on how your idols can be "less than ideal" people and i think that with internet personalities it's much more pronounced since they don't have PR people to reel them in.

Just make peace with yourself and maybe do exposure therapy, don't actively look for him, but don't avoid him either, in time you will stop caring.

It sounds like your sense of justice has been offended, which is understandable. Someone you admired turned out to be an a-hole, and good things are happening for him in spite of what a low quality person he is. It can be hard to let that go.

The first thing I've learned is, it's okay to spend some time feeling whatever emotions you feel. Society tells us it's not, but biology says that's how the brain processes those emotions. That's not the same as acting on them, but it is okay and healthy to take time to feel them.

The hard part is figuring out when and how to stop. The body and mind take care of some of that -- that's how processing emotions works. At the same time, that stress can also produce chemical hormones that can be literally dangerous (they can actually make you sick) if we don't do something with them. That's part of biology and evolution and the old fight-or-flight response our ancestors developed to keep from being eaten by wolves and giant bears.

Here's some more information from a reliable source with references, as well. I'm sorry for what you're dealing with and hope the article helps!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/less-pain-fewer-pills/201412/9-tips-stop-anger-and-injustice-hurting-you

Haljkljavahlibrz said:
My motto is "why should i concern myself with idiots who otherwise don't give a crap about me?".

I don't know weather he was recording the game session and was doing the insulting to entertain his viewers, but i do think that teabagging and such are otherwise pretty meaningless - unless it is followed by out-of-session PM insulting, then the guy is being a real dick (printscreen and post on forums to ruin the guy's rep is allways fun :) ).

You got a first-hand lesson on how your idols can be "less than ideal" people and i think that with internet personalities it's much more pronounced since they don't have PR people to reel them in.

Just make peace with yourself and maybe do exposure therapy, don't actively look for him, but don't avoid him either, in time you will stop caring.

That is a good motto and one I wish I knew at the time. T‿T)
And yeah, The person you use to look up too could end up being
the exact type of person you try to avoid.

For the most part, I was able to make peace with it, For a bit
being able to carry on with things but, the whole "Esports Gamer of
The year" thing and his acceptance speech reminding why exactly I looked
up to the guy Just...opened up some Deep cuts.
Also reminding me that a person sounds a lot better on paper
than in reality. And to not to think too highly of anyone you look
up too because when/if you meet them you could find out their just
a successful jerk. ._.)

Edit:

CCoyote said:
It sounds like your sense of justice has been offended, which is understandable. Someone you admired turned out to be an a-hole, and good things are happening for him in spite of what a low quality person he is. It can be hard to let that go.

The first thing I've learned is, it's okay to spend some time feeling whatever emotions you feel. Society tells us it's not, but biology says that's how the brain processes those emotions. That's not the same as acting on them, but it is okay and healthy to take time to feel them.

The hard part is figuring out when and how to stop. The body and mind take care of some of that -- that's how processing emotions works. At the same time, that stress can also produce chemical hormones that can be literally dangerous (they can actually make you sick) if we don't do something with them. That's part of biology and evolution and the old fight-or-flight response our ancestors developed to keep from being eaten by wolves and giant bears.

Here's some more information from a reliable source with references, as well. I'm sorry for what you're dealing with and hope the article helps!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/less-pain-fewer-pills/201412/9-tips-stop-anger-and-injustice-hurting-you

That is an extremely interesting view of this,m8 ╹ ╹)

and Blimy!
If feeling this way may ever have a slight effect on my
physical wellbeing that's all the more reason I should find
a way to cope and move on. I'm not gonna let my body fail over
this guy!

The person who went to a non furcon related public event dressed up in a flashy, expensive (hey, look at me!) animal costume turned out to be a narcissist, in other news water's wet. Really though, what else did you expect? Never idolize a furry, ESPECIALLY a high roller/suiter, give any of them a drop of broadcasted popularity and they'll always end up like that.

It always sucks to discover someone you looked up to is a dick.

It's even worse when they, then, go on to become somehow successful. :/

The "nice" thing here is, you can be pretty comfortable in the fact that you're right. He did not exhibit sportsmanlike behavior. He was rude.

I even found this quite from SF saying “I often use teabagging as a way to make the opponent crack or get angry. It’s dirty but efficient if they get tight easily.”

It's *childish* and man... that's just..

yeah.

Not cool. But at least you know it's real. It's not "I met him at a con and he was rude to me" while everyone else is saying how nice he was, leaving you wondering 'was it me? Do I remember wrong? did he just randomly hate me?" it's REAL.

and it sucks :C and I'm sorry.

You're very brave to come forth your your feelings here <3

and I"m sure you're not alone in your feelings.

But, you seem to have already gotten some good advice about feelings so I"ll jsut leave you withone final thought:

You can decide to not be angry. You can decide to let it go. This doesn't work for everything, but like... "I have to re do this whole thing. I'm angry--but I can chose to not be angry. It doesn't matter. Anger will not help. So why not just.... not be angry."

easier said than done of course, but it's... helpful to embrace. Why not not be not angry.

I"m also an advocate of deep breaths and... well, I'm crap at meditation, but I've heard it's really helpful. Find some way to set that anger down.

This is stupid, but "Let it go" has turned into a really good 'scream my frustration out' song for me. Find something that lifts you up though. I used to howl along with In The End... but "It doesn't even matter how hard you try" is so negative compared to... "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small..." ... but find something that suits you. or several!

just... let it go... let it go.. :D

post #576628

(not that every mention if him needs a singalong of course, but. y'know.)

SnowWolf said:
It always sucks to discover someone you looked up to is a dick.

It's even worse when they, then, go on to become somehow successful. :/

The "nice" thing here is, you can be pretty comfortable in the fact that you're right. He did not exhibit sportsmanlike behavior. He was rude.

I even found this quite from SF saying “I often use teabagging as a way to make the opponent crack or get angry. It’s dirty but efficient if they get tight easily.”

It's *childish* and man... that's just..

yeah.

Not cool. But at least you know it's real. It's not "I met him at a con and he was rude to me" while everyone else is saying how nice he was, leaving you wondering 'was it me? Do I remember wrong? did he just randomly hate me?" it's REAL.

and it sucks :C and I'm sorry.

You're very brave to come forth your your feelings here <3

and I"m sure you're not alone in your feelings.

But, you seem to have already gotten some good advice about feelings so I"ll jsut leave you withone final thought:

You can decide to not be angry. You can decide to let it go. This doesn't work for everything, but like... "I have to re do this whole thing. I'm angry--but I can chose to not be angry. It doesn't matter. Anger will not help. So why not just.... not be angry."

easier said than done of course, but it's... helpful to embrace. Why not not be not angry.

I"m also an advocate of deep breaths and... well, I'm crap at meditation, but I've heard it's really helpful. Find some way to set that anger down.

This is stupid, but "Let it go" has turned into a really good 'scream my frustration out' song for me. Find something that lifts you up though. I used to howl along with In The End... but "It doesn't even matter how hard you try" is so negative compared to... "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small..." ... but find something that suits you. or several!

just... let it go... let it go.. :D

post #576628

(not that every mention if him needs a singalong of course, but. y'know.)

I could see that, Doing that kinda thing could really though a player off
their game but... If he was trying to get under my skin for battle
purposes to make me play sloppy, then why would he have to keep taunting
after the battle was over? ._.)

Yeah, Like you said m8. 'Not cool' on his part.

And it's alright, Let it go is a fine song and I can definitely see how that
sound could act as an escape for people; Same goes for linken park.
(Love listening to Linkin Park's Breaking The Habit when I'm in a 'Really Dark'
Head space. It helps me get things in perspective and under control when
I have a guy sing my problems and trying to overcome them to me haha =‿=)

I would just find a way to message him via Twitter or Twitch and just be real with him like "hey, I fought you in a random game and you were extremely bm...I was a fan and I used to really look up to you, but not anymore" His response might be to laugh in your face and be like "oh what a scrub, sorry you're bad." But he might actually surprise you and apologize...either way I think something like that will make him realize that the people he's fighting online aren't just some randos, they could also be his fans too.

Dyrone said:
I would just find a way to message him via Twitter or Twitch and just be real with him like "hey, I fought you in a random game and you were extremely bm...I was a fan and I used to really look up to you, but not anymore" His response might be to laugh in your face and be like "oh what a scrub, sorry you're bad." But he might actually surprise you and apologize...either way I think something like that will make him realize that the people he's fighting online aren't just some randos, they could also be his fans too.

That's just the thing m8, I think this is a scenario were an apology from the
guy would just make me feel worst given the implications. Where I feel like
I'd be obligated and almost intimidated into forgiving him due to his status.
And honestly, I don't think I can truly forgive him.

"It's was just taunting and a bit of T-Bagging. A Sorry should be
enough for me to become a huge fan of you again!"
Would be the implied statement if I ask him for one, Also implying that the
whole event meant so little to me that a simple sorry can patch things up;
which just isn't true. ._.)

What might have been a passing battle for him was a complete destruction of
a part of my identity at the time. I seriously looked up to this guy; thinking
he was amazing and an awesome player who played his heart out and
respected others who played the game just like him. Having finally met
him in one of my favorite games no less and having him do that really
threw a lot of what I thought at the time into question.

I'm a stronger person now that I've been through it but- And this is gonna sound
harsh- I don't want his apology, I want him to leave me alone so I can move on.
But no matter where I go, I Can't escape the name "Sonic Fox" and the memories
attached to those words. And Having him say sorry would only be another knife
in the back, ya know? ._.)

Notkastar said:
That's just the thing m8, I think this is a scenario were an apology from the
guy would just make me feel worst given the implications. Where I feel like
I'd be obligated and almost intimidated into forgiving him due to his status.
And honestly, I don't think I can truly forgive him.

That's something you need to work on imo....being rude in a video game shouldn't cause this sort of reaction honestly. "you were rude I will now NEVER forgive you." What? I'm a believer that there are things a person can never be forgiven for, being bm in an online game is not one of them. I think it would still be good to talk to him about it, you might even expose him as a piece of shit if he just blows you off (although his remarks on other issues already mark him as a pos in my eyes anyways).

Also you don't have to accept the apology even if he does offer one. I've turned down plenty of apologies in my life that I didn't think were heartfelt. I mean this is the internet not a face-to-face discussion, you don't have to say anything back at all if you don't want to.

But whatever ultimately it is your life not mine.

Dyrone said:
Being rude in a video game shouldn't cause this sort of reaction honestly. "you were rude I will now NEVER forgive you." What? I'm a believer that there are things a person can never be forgiven for, being bm in an online game is not one of them. I think it would still be good to talk to him about it, you might even expose him as a piece of shit if he just blows you off (although his remarks on other issues already mark him as a pos in my eyes anyways).

Also you don't have to accept the apology even if he does offer one. I've turned down plenty of apologies in my life that I didn't think were heartfelt. I mean this is the internet not a face-to-face discussion, you don't have to say anything back at all if you don't want to.

But whatever ultimately it is your life not mine.

Everyone has different sensibilities, Mine are just more geared around
betrayal. While I completely see where you're coming from with the
reaction I've had thus far being pretty 'Hard; It's justified to me.
What he did at the time 'while small' was in a way a betrayal
of the trust I had in him; The trust I had in this role model.

It wasn't the Bad Manners its self that instilled my avoidance
from him; It was that 'he' was the one to do it. ._.)

Nevertheless, you make a good point; I should take the time to
talk to him. Not to prove that he's a bad person or for the sake
of letting my hate go. To be honest, I'm gonna feel the same way
about him now, 2 years from now. But maybe after I talk to him, he'll
finally vanish from over my shoulder and I could stop noticing him.
(metaphorically speaking of course!)

I hate SonicFox and that fact will not change for a while.
But, if I stop noticing him I'll stop caring about this former
role-model. When that happens I could finally step out from
the shadows of his achievements, Status and so on because
I wouldn't pay them that much heed. Being able to focus more
on my own things unhindered by the malice I've associated
together with this guy; Just because he does/plays the same things too.
╹‿╹)