Let's see who can come up with the chessiest joke EVER. Starting.............................................NOW

Rook to F4.

What nationality are mice?

What did the fish say when he hit a wall?

Two peanuts are walking though a bad neighborhood.

The second one works better when told out loud vs written out.

Chessieiest? Hmmmmmmm... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chessie_System I didn't know you liked trains. :O

Why does the knight move in an L-shape?

JoeX said:
Chessieiest? Hmmmmmmm... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chessie_System I didn't know you liked trains. :O

That one is hard to beat

You know what really grinds my gears?
low levels of transmission fluid

Why did the furry cross the road?

Two men walked into a bar.
One ducked.

Munkelzahn said:
Why did the furry cross the road?

To yiff on the other side?

I don't know any chess jokes.

ippiki_ookami said:
I don't know any chess jokes.

Stupid brain, not noticing the error of the title.

How many murrfags does it take to change a light bulb?

Munkelzahn said:
How many murrfags does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't, they use it as a toy.

Munkelzahn said:
How many murrfags does it take to change a light bulb?

X+1. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other X to do something stereotypical, in this case yiff.

Munkelzahn said:
Why did the furry cross the road?

To punch the dude who is making jokes about him?

This one will sound odd coming from a girl but here...

If I had a rooster, and you had a donkey, and your donkey sat on my roosters feet... What would we end up with?

Gentlemen... Use at will ^_^

IvoryWolf said:
This one will sound odd coming from a girl but here...

If I had a rooster, and you had a donkey, and your donkey sat on my roosters feet... What would we end up with?

two feet of my cock in your ass

Gentlemen... Use at will ^_^

We need an upvote button for forum responses

Xch3l said:
We need an upvote button for forum responses

*takes a bow* the pleasure is mine ^_^

I am the Cheese. I am the best character on the show. I am better than both the salami and bologna combined

Mario583 said:
I am the Cheese. I am the best character on the show. I am better than both the salami and bologna combined

The Cheese Stands Alone.

Last Christmas, I stayed at a hotel that was hosting a regional chess tournaments. It was strange, seeing chess nuts boasting by an open foyer.

Enigmatic_WolfXIII said:
Stupid brain, not noticing the error of the title.

Oops, my bad ( ^.^)

My computer beat me at chess, so I beat it at kickboxing. - Demetri Martin

Whats brown and sticky?
a stick

Calling the Higgs boxon the “god particle” is not entirely inappropriate. It is, after all, why Catholics have mass!

Snowy said:
Calling the Higgs boxon the “god particle” is not entirely inappropriate. It is, after all, why Catholics have mass!

What's a boxon?
Is it like boxen?

I feel bad about my last one. I have another, but it's one of those "never appropriate anywhere" jokes.

Hammie said:
What's a boxon?
Is it like boxen?

It's a special sort of boson formed when making typos.

post #211636
it has lol

Two dyslexic guys walk into a bra.

elad said:
Two dyslexic guys walk into a bra.

If life gives you melons, dyslexia is not funny.

Oooh oooh! Other!
post #232323

I have a Jar of dirt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRcj6CAhe7s

A guy walks into a bar ........ Ouch

A guy walks into a bar ........ Ouch

A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"

How do you make a horse laugh.....tell him that you got a bigger dick than him
How do you make that same horse cry ? ...... prove to him yours is bigger

how do you get 20 cubans in a paper cup ?

tell them it floats

TheRedFoxx said:
How do you make a horse laugh.....tell him that you got a bigger dick than him
How do you make that same horse cry ? ...... prove to him yours is bigger

good luck doing the second one haha

TheRedFoxx said:
how do you get 20 cubans in a paper cup ?

tell them it floats

oh my god...this is so bad but so damn funny

Why did the pony went to da moon?
'Cause she was beeeeyetch who liked bananas

Whats the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts?
Boy Scouts come back from camp
Sorry ouch...

How do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool?
You flip it over...

Xch3l said:
post #211636
it has lol

Corny joke is corny,

I didn't find any of this as funny. Yet.

AbsebaroKoon said:
I didn't find any of this as funny. Yet.

Laugh damm you! :3

A fox walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a glass of scotch" the bar tender replys "holy shit its a talking fox!"

A barman walks into a horse stable. Horse walks up to him and says "Hey, why the small penis?"

elad said:
A barman walks into a horse stable. Horse walks up to him and says "Hey, why the small penis?"

lol

"dirty joke" ..... a white horse rolled in the mud.
:3

"dirty joke" ..... a white horse rolled in the mud.
:3

Superman was flying around when he spots wonderwoman tanning nude on a beach. He thinks "hey I could fly down there, fuck her faster than a speeding bullet and fly off before she knew it was me!" So he zips down, puts it hard and fast to her and flies off. Wonderwoman sits up bewildered and shouts "what the fuck was that?"

The invisible man cries out "i have no fucking idea but my ass is killing me!"

That's

IvoryWolf said:
Superman was flying around when he spots wonderwoman tanning nude on a beach. He thinks "hey I could fly down there, fuck her faster than a speeding bullet and fly off before she knew it was me!" So he zips down, puts it hard and fast to her and flies off. Wonderwoman sits up bewildered and shouts "what the fuck was that?"

The invisible man cries out "i have no fucking idea but my ass is killing me!"

IvoryWolf said:
Superman was flying around when he spots wonderwoman tanning nude on a beach. He thinks "hey I could fly down there, fuck her faster than a speeding bullet and fly off before she knew it was me!" So he zips down, puts it hard and fast to her and flies off. Wonderwoman sits up bewildered and shouts "what the fuck was that?"

The invisible man cries out "i have no fucking idea but my ass is killing me!"

That's hilarious

One day a girl decided to buy some crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend. She went and bought them, got home, put them on and waited. When the boyfriend got home there she was spread eagle on the bed with only her panties and bra on. "Come over here baby." she says smiling. The boyfriend backs off, "If your pussy can do that to your panties - I ain't going any where near it!"

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use some lubricant.

So this guy gets pulled over for speeding. the cop walks up to the car and the guy explains that he just stole this car and hasn't had a feel for it yet.

So the cop asks him "You stole this car?" and the guy says "Yeah, I killed the owner and stuffed the body in the trunk. I shot him with the gun I have in my glovebox."

So the officer tells him to step out of the car which he does. A superior officer arrives on the scene and is talking to the guy. He asks about the body in the trunk and the guy tells him there's no body in there. He checks and sure enough there's no body, no gun in the glove box and the car belongs to him.

So the guy tells the superior officer "I bet that lying son of a bitch told you I was speeding too."

Why does it take more than one squirrel to screw in a light bulb?

Q. Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A. She wanted to mount the horse her way.

Q. What is the noisiest thing in the world?
A. Two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.