Topic: Ever Hate People Being Nice To You?

Posted under Off Topic

In person, it angers me when someone is over-the-top nice to me, or is more nice to me than normal. I’m not a bad person, so I don’t think I hate it because I don’t deserve it. I just don’t like it. It’s extremely irritating to me, especially if somebody does something nice for me, for seemingly no reason.

What about everyone here? Do you ever get like this? Is there something wrong with me? I have no clue why I dislike others being friendly with me. Even my BFF doesn’t act pleasant towards me, and I like it that way. Again, it’s always in person, for some reason.

I think it's pretty normal. I'm seeing moments before my inner eye where I can definitely relate to you.
Many people express their cynism and negativity by being inappropiately nice and you reacting to that seems, at least if it doesn't happen that much, like a regular reaction of your empathy to conflicting social signals.

Sometimes yes, when people try to be nice to me without understanding my experience. Or when they claim they are accepting of everyone. So many of them change their tune when pushed even a little, though it's true they may be one of the genuinely accepting sorts. I've been made bitter over time by seeing that pattern repeat.

For me it comes down to two things (exactly what ratio or if it goes all the way to one or the other being dependent on the specific situation):
1) If someone seems nicer than I think the situation warrants, then I'm suspicious they have some sort of ulterior motive. Or in some cases I know they have an ulterior motive, like salespeople, so in my head I feel like "cut the crap and tell me how you really feel, stop trying to butter me up". To be fair, sometimes that isn't the fault of the other person and I'm imagining mal-intent that isn't there.
2) As an introvert I only have so much energy to deal with other people, so it can be too much at times; especially if I'm tried from other factors. Like "Calm down buttercup, you're saturating the input here."

I was brought up in the Soviet Union, so the entire premise of "the service smile", when it comes to waiters and other services is genuinely... baffling to me. I can't say overly polite people provoke a hatred or anger response so much as a "what the fuck is wrong with you" one; it creeps me the hell out. Calls to mind the whole Stepford Wives thing.

Now, when it comes to normal people, it can get more annoying because friends try to be superficially nice at all times and refuse to just say what is on their damned minds. I'm a gruff asshole and want people to act how they feel around me, rather than being all polite and kind and forcing it.

On the gift-giving front, it's doubly difficult because I feel obligated to reciprocate when people give me shit (in spite of me constantly saying to stop giving me shit), but would really rather people not do the same if I give them something because it starts an endless cycle of gifts.

Not usually.
If a drive-through worker is being overly nice though it feels a little sus, no offence if you are one.

People acting overly nice to me almost immediately trigger a wariness in me as I try to figure out if they're buttering me up because they've got an angle. I think that a lot of people are able to cruise through life by being charming, because people feel bad for calling them out on the minorly crappy things they do.

A thread of all the people who should stay away from the rural Southern/Mid-western U.S.; re: hating people who are nice for no reason/doing nice things for no reason/being 'too' nice.

I'm sorry for whatever trauma has made y'all so bitter, but a lot of folk will be 'overly' nice and go right out of their way to help someone without being asked, because its the right thing to do, because of the values of 'doing unto others, that which you would want done to you', its a southern/rural cultural thing, at least back when I was growing up and everyone I know in my age range who also grew up in rural areas. Hold doors open for people, ask how folks are doing, offering to buy someones groceries when you see them putting things back cuz it was over their budget, giving that homeless guy on the corner a couple dollars.

I've met a LOT of foriegners and people from large cities who think the worse when a country boy or girl does something nice out of the blue, but that's the problem of the culture/society from where they came from, and very wrong-headed. I'd say there is no such thing as being 'too nice' or 'overly nice' -- Now online is a complete different story, don't trust anyone ONLINE who comes off as too nice or too tolerable.

I can tell when someone is genuinely nice vs fake nice, working in the food service industry for 6+ years does that to you. There is a difference between the two, and it isn't specific to one location or another since, with personal experience added, people from anywhere can be bitter or nice.

With that said, I don't mind when people are nice. I can only hope that they're genuine about it though. If they are, cool beans in jeans. If they aren't, at least I'm prepared for it. It's never a bad thing to feel a bit of caution when you encounter someone that is being overly nice, because they usually have ulterior motives involved. Never put your complete trust in someone you don't know.

Updated

OK clearly you need to understand the difference between being Overly nice or being Respectful. People make mistakes and are sorry for them. They try to do good an do apologize for their mistakes. Some people are new. Some people make mistakes in games. You shouldn't just kick them from the group because of a mistake.

Then they apologize for that mistake. If you think they are trying to do it on purpose. They aren't. They need help understanding thing because you are ALSO that person who get in class an has no idea what the hell you where suppose to study for. You are at your desk you are told to pass the paper around an its something you never saw before. You messed up. The best you can do is stay after class to make up for it. You need to learn this an to a Teacher,they are impressed you are still willing to learn an not give up on them.

Try to be a good person. Be respectful. Be friendly. An if you are an introvert. You may no say anything at all. You want to be part of the conversation but its not you. An you do not want to make it about you. So you remain silent and respectfully listen in. But if you are guilty of something just say your sorry.

I'm gonna be honest i'm kinda dense and if anyone ever tries to be nice to me with bad intentions in mind it'll probably blow past me
The only times that i do furrow my eyebrows is when the person expects something in return, like my employer or salespeople

No unless they've been a jerk before and are just pretending like they weren't previously. I'll call them out on it.

I agree fully with @Marflebark.

As a more personal experience, I wish I could be more polite and nice with people that I am. Some people say, that I trend to speak with people in a "dry, harsh tone", but I don't really feel like that.

My ideal is to go through life without conflict with other people, being polite in the right measure, so everyone could tend their own business as smooth, nice and peaceful as possible.

On the contrary, eventually I see too much people, frustrated or jealous or selfish... so that you go through life forced to be aware of any angle from which people may jump on you

=(.

But if people is nice with me - and I rarely if ever see any excess at that - I am generally happy and respond in the same manner.

The only time I hate people who are nice to me is if they are being condescending or overly helpful in an annoying way, or if they act like they understand my problems when they obviously don't.

I hate too nice people if i can tell its forced or not genuine. empathy should not default you to being nice. i don't need someone smiling at me and telling me its gonna be ok for example.

i'm not saying DON'T...just saying i don't need someone being annoyingly nice all the time. its physically exhausting to me in a way to observe.

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