I have three of them, only the first two of which I'm kind of serious about. (Some of these may already exist. I'm far too lazy to check.)

1) The Love Me Knot
It would be an inflatable bulb like thing to attach to the base of your penis or your favorite butt plug or strap on that will inflate and deflate via remote control to safely simulate knotting. We could go further with it by adding vibration features and a deflation timer that can be set for up to 30 minutes to satisfy the delayed "stuck" fantasy that comes with real knotting.

2) The Chinese Dick Trap
A toy for the gay boys! Have you played Cards Against Humanity and have come across the card "Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick"? Well I think that's really hot and that's basically what this would be: a slightly larger Chinese finger trap that can satisfy two dicks at once, made of a flexible yet durable mesh plastic with the same tightening and flexing action that a real Chinese finger trap can offer. Getting out of it would be easy. Just push the two sides together towards the center with your hand and pull out. You could make the inside of it textured or add a virbation attatchment for even more fun!

3) Fappy Bird
A PC game that you play with your dick! It comes with a disk for installation and a cock ring with a motion sensor. Its just like Flappy Bird, except you make the bird flap by moving your hand up and down across the sensor. You could even minimize the screen and watch porn at the same time you play! It could have an online leaderboard and Facebook connection. Try to beat your friend's high scores!
Fappy Bird! A Game That Will Make You So Mad, You'll Pop A Boner!

*opens mouth getting ready to say something* ........................................................... nah................

post #440352

:3

It's like a rapex, but for male prison inmates.

I call it: The Painus™.

I laughed so hard at "Fappy Bird".

Personally I'd like a vibrator with temperature settings. Make it as warm as to be lifelike or as cold as ice.

Let's not.

The Brown Pounder
It would perfectly simulate anal sex with someone with poor personal hygiene. Just add lube, penetrate, and BAM, awful nightmares for the rest of your days! :/

JoeX said:
The Brown Pounder
It would perfectly simulate anal sex with someone with poor personal hygiene. Just add lube, penetrate, and BAM, awful nightmares for the rest of your days! :/

Don't forget the fake blood. :3

furballs_dc said:
Don't forget the fake blood. :3

Oh, no! It's all in the patented "ShitPocket" system. The lube activates small membranes filled with-- Yeah, I won't finish that sentence.

JoeX said:
Oh, no! It's all in the patented "ShitPocket" system. The lube activates small membranes filled with-- Yeah, I won't finish that sentence.

"molten chocolate mixed with cheese"

furballs_dc said:
"molten chocolate mixed with cheese"

Give me the CCCHHHEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

furballs_dc said:
"molten chocolate mixed with cheese"

Dear God, why?

JoeX said:
Dear God, why?

Mixed with clownmime bits too. :3

Required viewing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bBUgRDJeqM

To further pick on Elad, I was gonna say one of those spreader "wooden horses" used in torture porn.

But it's shaped like Elad's face.

Mmm... A fur suit that DOESNT seem creepy or weird as all fucking hell?

anon_X said:
Mmm... A fur suit that DOESNT seem creepy or weird as all fucking hell?

See, the problem with that is, what would that even look like? I can't really think of any way around the 'cold lifeless eyes' thing, and unless you're grafting fur to your skin, it's always gonna look kinda baggy and shapeless.

Tunguska said:
To further pick on Elad, I was gonna say one of those spreader "wooden horses" used in torture porn.

But it's shaped like Elad's face.

... wat. :3
No really, I don't understand :< Is my head particularly pointy or do I somehow qualify for torture porn on my face?
Would it be EXACTLY like my face or would it need to be made more triangular? I don't think it'd make a very good torture implement as is.

FatherOfGray said:
3) Fappy Bird
A PC game that you play with your dick! It comes with a disk for installation and a cock ring with a motion sensor. Its just like Flappy Bird, except you make the bird flap by moving your hand up and down across the sensor. You could even minimize the screen and watch porn at the same time you play! It could have an online leaderboard and Facebook connection. Try to beat your friend's high scores!
Fappy Bird! A Game That Will Make You So Mad, You'll Pop A Boner!

And finally...

elad said:
And finally...

If I had a system that operated with a joystick, I'd buy it and try it for the lulz.

elad said:
And finally...

God I love science... As far as the fur suit.. The body can be tailor made of course! :D Furmani, or maybe yiffgarin. Just going out to a special event? Consider the more casual Furmani Sexchange... No, wait. That'd be more for men wanting to be a female fur, my bad.

Still working on ideas for the head... Fur grafting sounds plausible, if not stigmatizingly permanent..

I'd suggest a long string that can puff up.
All_the_way_through fantasies would be real.

Moon_Moon said:
I'd suggest a long string that can puff up.
All_the_way_through fantasies would be real.

furballs_dc said:
post #440352

:3

What's with the AQW dragon?

elad said:
This would probably kill you. :3

This. Also: maybe for my fur suit some advanced facepaint/latex mask type thing can go directly over the head? Flexible for talking, etc...

A doge involved one possible insertable as canine with knot

So pleaseing
very erotic
much knoting

WOW

elad said:
This would definitely kill you. :3

Fix'd.

anon_X said:
Fur grafting.

That's infinitely creepier than any fursuit in existence.

SirAntagonist said:
That's infinitely creepier than any fursuit in existence.

Pfft. True dat. But, hey, that's as close as you'll get to bring a fur south of gene splicing

Ok, let me see... dumb sex toy idea... one with all of the following:

• MP3 player capability

FM Radio
Micro SD slot
Video player
Dual SIM card
Android/iOS hybrid
621MP camera with 926x zoom
Games
WiFi
Bluetooth
6 USB Ports
HDMI/VGA ports
Gyroscope
Accelerometer
Gravimeter
Waffle maker
Coffee maker
5-Speed blender
Can opener
A lean, mean, grilling machine

and it must be signed by George Foreman

Xch3l said:
Ok, let me see... dumb sex toy idea... one with all of the following:

• MP3 player capability

FM Radio
Micro SD slot
Video player
Dual SIM card
Android/iOS hybrid
621MP camera with 926x zoom
Games
WiFi
Bluetooth
6 USB Ports
HDMI/VGA ports
Gyroscope
Accelerometer
Gravimeter
Waffle maker
Coffee maker
5-Speed blender
Can opener
A lean, mean, grilling machine

and it must be signed by George Foreman

Interestingly, absolutely nothing sexual was listed there. I think what you want is a smartphone and a breakfast bar. I'll be honest, it sounds way better than a dildo.

elad said:
Interestingly, absolutely nothing sexual was listed there. I think what you want is a smartphone and a breakfast bar. I'll be honest, it sounds way better than a dildo.

It's a normal one with all of that.

Xch3l said:
It's a normal one with all of that.

Just go to your kitchen and put your phone and a dildo on the counter. Done!

elad said:
Just go to your kitchen and put your phone and a dildo on the counter. Done!

Problem is that I don't have a dildo or any sex toy well, not actually a problem

Xch3l said:
Problem is that I don't have a dildo or any sex toy well, not actually a problem

I consider that a problem. I can't do without toys.

Xch3l said:
Ok, let me see... dumb sex toy idea... one with all of the following:

• MP3 player capability

FM Radio
Micro SD slot
Video player
Dual SIM card
Android/iOS hybrid
621MP camera with 926x zoom
Games
WiFi
Bluetooth
6 USB Ports
HDMI/VGA ports
Gyroscope
Accelerometer
Gravimeter
Waffle maker
Coffee maker
5-Speed blender
Can opener
A lean, mean, grilling machine

and it must be signed by George Foreman

You left out the propane.

How could you leave out the fucking propane.

SirAntagonist said:
You left out the propane.

How could you leave out the fucking propane.

Left out a few details. Got 'em for you.

SirAntagonist said:
You left out the propane.

How could you leave out the fucking propane.

FUUUUU-!!! How could I!? I also forgot its accessories! D:

Now bringing this full circle.

anon_X said:
Left out a few details. Got 'em for you.

Hence why I took it further. :3 besides. This thread is better with more propane.

SirAntagonist said:
You left out the propane.

How could you leave out the fucking propane.

I just pictured someone using a dildo as a blowtorch. Jesus, what the hell?

JoeX said:
I just pictured someone using a dildo as a blowtorch. Jesus, what the hell?

Liquid propane on fire spitting out of the resevoir tip.

post #426681

elad said:

No really, I don't understand :< Is my head particularly pointy or do I somehow qualify for torture porn on my face?

The fact you thought so hard about it means I can call this a win.

Remote control high-powered vibrating bullet toy, with the ability to inflate and also do electrostim. That would be my ultimate toy.

You know these triple cockrings that you place on your cock, your balls and both?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c8/Triple_cock_ring.jpg

I want one of those, except make it a vibrating cockring. And no sissy batteries and vibrating bullets. Hook that thing up with a 230 volt power cable and industrial-strength vibrator.

Robo-Tentacles. Operable tentacle toy with AI that you can use to set the number and behavior of the tentacles (not responsible for guro fan injuries), also how many orgasms it forces out of user before user is released.

Somebody should invent the Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen from Eurotrip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxCpBSDiPNc#t=33

DasaDevil said:
Somebody should invent the Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen from Eurotrip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxCpBSDiPNc#t=33

Oh you...

How about something that you could, say, conceal in a pocket. When activated and someone touches it with bare skin, it makes them unbearably horny. Sneak up behind someone and use on them for Lolz. :3

anon_X said:
How about something that you could, say, conceal in a pocket. When activated and someone touches it with bare skin, it makes them unbearably horny. Sneak up behind someone and use on them for Lolz. :3

You are diabolical. I love it!

anon_X said:
How about something that you could, say, conceal in a pocket. When activated and someone touches it with bare skin, it makes them unbearably horny. Sneak up behind someone and use on them for Lolz. :3

I'd rather it made them orgasm. Pocket Cum, an Orgasm in your Pocket.

Imagine the Chikan...

Hmm... https://e621.net/post/show/80620 nuff said

What about a regular ol' dildo, with the base hollowed out to make room for a model rocket engine. Nice and simple autodildo.

Rocket Dildo is my every thought.

Tangent said:
What about a regular ol' dildo, with the base hollowed out to make room for a model rocket engine. Nice and simple autodildo.

Rocket Dildo is my every thought.

You think it a good idea to put something containing the engine capable of doing this in ones rectum/vagina is safe? Nevermind death by dildo, what of the emissions? Well, abiding by the thread title word for word at least.

anon_X said:
You think it a good idea to put something containing the engine capable of doing this in ones rectum/vagina is safe? Nevermind death by dildo[...]

LOL

Fluttershy said:
LOL

I happen to have experience in that field. A dildo is a very effective weapon

anon_X said:
I happen to have experience in that field. A dildo is a very effective weapon

:P

I'd call it Los Didlos de la Bomba

and for the record this thread is grossss

post #424566
And you call this thread gross when we host that sorta thing? Lmfao. Apologize for the eyerape btw. Not really, otherwise I wouldn't of thumbed it, and phoned in a post link. XD I'm an ass. <3

No worries hoss, that's what the blacklist is for.

Touché. Another fun fetish- sleepomnia. Fucking while dead asleep. Hell yeah.

Feels good to be marginally closer to the bland ideal the media-cum-society deems 'normal', bro.

Not that I just signed up to be an offended plebian dupe, mind you.