you and your mate both love eachother then, you do something h terrible and low-life.
Your stuck in one place when you get a call from your Bf/Gf saying that he or she has found another mate (and is sorry).

Sometime later, you are told by this friend that your ex-mate doesnt want to see you -- you dont believe. Hours later, your ex tells you that "you are NOT allowed near my house.

You really wanted to go to <state> where your now-ex-lover is.

You call a friend of your lover and tell that person that the person that you were dating does not want to see your fucking face around their house.

Should you go and try to make amends?

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting them back together.

Mario583 said:
you and your mate both love eachother then, you do something h terrible and low-life.
Your stuck in one place when you get a call from your Bf/Gf saying that he or she has found another mate (and is sorry).

Sometime later, you are told by this friend that your ex-mate doesnt want to see you -- you dont believe. Hours later, your ex tells you that "you are NOT allowed near my house.

You really wanted to go to <state> where your now-ex-lover is.

You call a friend of your lover and tell that person that the person that you were dating does not want to see your fucking face around their house.

Should you go and try to make amends?

Gonna get shot.

If your relationship skills are like your uploading skills, I'd suggest getting a new identity so you can start over from scratch.

Everything about the described scenario indicates that going anywhere within a ten meter radius of him/her would be a bad idea. :/

Just move on. It sucks but it's for the best.

Munkelzahn said:
If your relationship skills are like your uploading skills, I'd suggest getting a new identity so you can start over from scratch.

Cannot follow description. If I understand it properly, you cheated on your girlfriend, and now both girls want nothing to do with you?

• Observe that polygamy won't win you many friends (except in Utah).
• You done messed up. Probably both relationships are a loss.
• Best take it like a man and try monogamy next time.

ikdind said:
Cannot follow description. If I understand it properly, you cheated on your girlfriend, and now both girls want nothing to do with you?

• Observe that polygamy won't win you many friends (except in Utah).
• You done messed up. Probably both relationships are a loss.
• Best take it like a man and try monogamy next time.

umm no. Done some retarded thing and now all his friends hate his guts.
plus...was a promise to his mate to live with him BEFORE he did this........empty promise now.

This is a silly thread.

Mario583 said:
umm no. Done some retarded thing and now all his friends hate his guts.
plus...was a promise to his mate to live with him BEFORE he did this........empty promise now.

I'm sorry but, what's the difference between "some retarded thing" and "cheating on your girlfriend"? They seem to be more or less synonymous to me.

Sounds to me like the person your ex is dating has got some pretty good convincing skills if ya ask me. He probably wanted your ex, waited until the right time (IE when you messed up), then came in for the kill and turned your ex against you. Happens quite often, especially in the fandom. Now, you can try to go and make amends, and maybe convince him/her that the person theyre with now is just being a douche and stealing you away, or you can move on.

Here's the break down. You did something that hurt your mate and your friends so badly that they want nothing to do with you. you recognized that the thing you did was bad. It doens't matter if you cheated, if you killed some kittens, kicked a puppy, stole money, lied, destroyed somethign thar didn't belong to you, whatever. It doesn't matter. You did something bad and you know it. it must have been a doozy. It most especially hurt hte peopel around you it seems.

so.. what to do? it's happened. ALl you can say is "i'm sorry, I was wrong. I did a bad things and I know it. These are the things I am doing to make it better (paying money back, buying new objects, apologizing, etc) ... whatever it is, it had better vastly out weigh the crime. And these things need to be done, NO MATTER WHAT. if you stole money, you WILL pay that money back, no matter what. Even if it's just sent in a little envelope every month or two with a note saying "i'm sorry I can't pay more this month." ... your apology should not be conditional on recieving forgiveness.

It may be that you have to wait a long time to be forgiven. it may be that you're never forgiven. Things may never be the same.

Respect that. Even if they say I never want to see you again, you pay back that money you've stolen (if they accept it) and you do not EVER press to see them again. You may ask once everything is paid back, but not before. You wish them well and try to fix the wrong you've done.

If you're lucky, they eventually--EVENTUALLY--forgive you.

but it might be that you jsut have to let it go and move on.

no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT... learn from this. you've fucked up. Don't ever do that again.

Mario583 said:
umm no. Done some retarded thing and now all his friends hate his guts.
plus...was a promise to his mate to live with him BEFORE he did this........empty promise now.

So, in lieu of a concrete or representative example: Everything SnowWolf said.

Though, honestly, being dodgy about it makes it sound more and more like you committed an actual crime. Like, not just being a major douche or asshole, but an actually unlawful offense with some sort of jailtime associated with it.

But no matter who's advice you ask, you can't escape having to own up to whatever it was. That might involve paying someone for a brand-new car you "borrowed", then totaled. Or it might involve walking into the police station and confessing that you owned the cocaine and booze that the police found in the center console of that car rather than let your friend take the fall for it.

And your friends might never forgive you in spite of your best efforts, and you might have to start your life over after paying whatever debt you owe. That's the worst case scenario: A reboot, after years of hard effort.

For instance, if you drove someone out into the midst of the Colorado wildfires, got them drunk until they passed out, then you left them for dead, you probably can't make up for that. And you should probably spend some time in prison. Like, a lot. Ditto if you got stoned with your teenie-bopper sister and got caught dancing the horizontal mambo with her in your g/f's house. Or did something while on bath salts, you cannibal zombie-wannabe.

But from your ultra-vague non-description, we can't hope to offer any specific advice. Myself, I'm a pessimist by nature, so I'm just going to enjoy making up hypothetical things you could have done that you wouldn't want to stain your internet rep'. And I have a rather dark mind for such things, having watched far too many crime dramas on TV.