if you masturbate with yogurt, would that be considered bestiality? yogurt is a living micro-organism after all

Bestiality implies sex with a non-human animal.

An animal is a multi-cellular organism.

So no.

KloH0und said:
Bestiality implies sex with a non-human animal.

An animal is a multi-cellular organism.

So no.

but it's MULTIPLE single cells

nah but you're probably right.

lolwut. No, really. What? I don't even.

nme22 said:
but it's MULTIPLE single cells

nah but you're probably right.

True, but each cell is its own individual organism.

Just because a bunch of Zebras are standing next to each other doesn't make the entire herd one giant organism.

Plus, bacteria reproduce asexually, so they can't actually have sex. So you could have sex with a single-celled organism in the same way you'd have sex with say, a loaf of bread.

I lol'd at the question

KloH0und said:
True, but each cell is its own individual organism.

Just because a bunch of Zebras are standing next to each other doesn't make the entire herd one giant organism.

Plus, bacteria reproduce asexually, so they can't actually have sex. So you could have sex with a single-celled organism in the same way you'd have sex with say, a loaf of bread.

well, that's a bit different. because if you do a dog in the ass, it's bestiality. now if there was an animal, about the same size as said dog, but it reproduces without a mate, it'd have no sex organs. but if you did it in the ass, it'd still be considered bestiality. even though that animal can't actually have sex.

nme22 said:
well, that's a bit different. because if you do a dog in the ass, it's bestiality. now if there was an animal, about the same size as said dog, but it reproduces without a mate, it'd have no sex organs. but if you did it in the ass, it'd still be considered bestiality. even though that animal can't actually have sex.

Of course, because it's an animal.
And you're having sex with it.
That's bestiality.
Yoghurt is not an animal. Therefore, it is not bestiality. It may be fucking STRANGE, but it is not bestiality.

Riversyde said:
Of course, because it's an animal.
And you're having sex with it.
That's bestiality.
Yoghurt is not an animal. Therefore, it is not bestiality. It may be fucking STRANGE, but it is not bestiality.

i was just saying, because kloh0und said:
"Plus, bacteria reproduce asexually, so they can't actually have sex"

and it's not that strange really. then again i'm sure we've all heard or seen stranger stuff. especially on this site

Your feeble mind cannot hope to comprehend or even remotely fathom the sheer immensity, volume, scale, or integer of the fucks I currently am not giving.

Carry on.

"..."

I lol'd so hard.

I lol'd as well. Not because of the topic, but because my cat farted.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

JustFrame said:
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yes. Christ.

Bacteria belong to the kingdom of Monera, not Animal. So, it wouldn't be bestiality even if you were having sex with the individual bacteria, which you would not be. You'd be sticking your dick in yogurt, and so you'll just end up with bacteria ON your dick. That's like asking "When I have sex with a girl, is it bestiality because there are bacteria in her pussy?" Or "When fucking a dog in the ass, is it bestiality, because of the E Coli in its butt?"

RedOctober said:
Bacteria belong to the kingdom of Monera, not Animal.

Well... that depends on which side of the pond you buy your textbooks from. Certain textbooks classify bacteria as its own kingdom within its own domain, others classify bacteria under the kingdom of monera, in the empire of prokaryota.

But neither include the empire of eukaryota or domain of eukarya, where animalia resides.

So... yeah. No, it isn't bestiality to f$%^ a yogurt cup. Though I suppose a jury wouldn't care and would be so disturbed by a guy who copulates into Activia that they'd throw 'em in jail anyways.

JustFrame said:
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

i think the real question is

if a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does anyone give a f$^k?

the answer is yes...an environmentalist gives several. s/he needs to know how many trees fall per year.

ikdind said:

So... yeah. No, it isn't bestiality to f$%^ a yogurt cup. Though I suppose a jury wouldn't care and would be so disturbed by a guy who copulates into Activia that they'd throw 'em in jail anyways.

well, it's not that strange. especially if you poured it on a girl for food play. i mean it's white, thick, slippery and safe to ingest. not to mention easy to clean off.

so we went from masturbating with yogurt to fucking dogs in the ass to god knows what.

okay.

Would you prefer a topic change to gay teen sex?

nme22 said:

well, it's not that strange. especially if you poured it on a girl for food play. i mean it's white, thick, slippery and safe to ingest. not to mention easy to clean off.

Bacteria for food play? Sounds like an easy way to get an infection.

Gayteensex said:
so we went from masturbating with yogurt to fucking dogs in the ass to god knows what.
okay.

Valence said:
Would you prefer a topic change to gay teen sex?

Goddammit guys I love you.

Pyke said:
Bacteria for food play? Sounds like an easy way to get an infection.

yea, but it's good bacteria.good for your gut ^^ and i assume it doesn't matter WHICH way it gets into ones colon, it still works.

nme22 said:
yea, but it's good bacteria.good for your gut ^^ and i assume it doesn't matter WHICH way it gets into ones colon, it still works.

Uh... what? o.O I think one of us has mistaken the meaning of the word "masterbate", because when I read it I'm imagining one possible hole on either gender, neither of which leads to the colon or any other part of the gastrointestinal system.

ikdind said:
Uh... what? o.O I think one of us has mistaken the meaning of the word "masterbate", because when I read it I'm imagining one possible hole on either gender, neither of which leads to the colon or any other part of the gastrointestinal system. [/quote] Read the post nme was quoting. Then also read the post Pyke was quoting (which was another nme post). It turned into a discussion of yogurt on people during sex. Food play.

e621!

here's a question:

bestiality is the act of having sex with an animal, be it anally or vaginally, however; humans are in the animal kingdom, so therefore, if you have sex with a human which is an animal, why is it not considered bestiality? just a thought, I think the term "bestiality" and "zoophilia" should be thrown out the window and replaced with the term "interspecies" or something.

cookiekangaroo said:
here's a question:

bestiality is the act of having sex with an animal, be it anally or vaginally, however; humans are in the animal kingdom, so therefore, if you have sex with a human which is an animal, why is it not considered bestiality?

http://www.google.com/search?q=bestiality+definition&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org

Definitions vary, but many tend to explicitly state "non-human animal" or sometimes "lower animal." The purpose of the word "bestiality" is to describe sexual interaction between humans and non-human animal. I think the word is fine, as it creates a distinction between it and two different species of non-human animals having sex.

"Zoophilia" refers to a sexual attraction to non-human animals. So a person could be a zoophile, but never actually perform an act of bestiality, or a person could not be a zoophile but participate in sexual activities with a non-human animal (as a result of rape or other form of coercion).

"Interspecies" seems more a like an umbrella term that encompasses all sexual interaction between separate species. i.e. a housecat having sex with an orca whale.

...Wait, are we talking about the words as tags on e621, or their use in general?

Within the context of e621, "zoophilia" and "bestiality" have the same meaning and purpose. Interspecies is still a separate tag for the reason listed.

Bestiality is (in more PC and honestly more proper terms) in reference to sexual interaction with a non-sentient being (often referred to as an animal). If they do not even have the ability to consent in a way that can be 100% verifiable, it's bestiality. Single-celled organisms are too small to qualify for anything- And if there's a giant amoeba, and you have a fetish for it.... I dunno man.

Riversyde said:
It may be fucking STRANGE

THIS. SO MUCH THIS!

JustFrame said:
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Hipster logic; If a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, I want the soundtrack.

JoeX said:
THIS. SO MUCH THIS!

Indeed this is a "What is this I don't even" moment.

epic necromancy

I think beastiality only extends to something that is large enough to see with the naked eye isnt human and is or at one point was alive, otherwise its considered something else. Which is why humping dinosaur bones is still considered beastiality and can get you kicked out of a museum.

Why would you try to have sex with yogurt? That's my question.
I defer to the authority of Reel Big Fish and their live cover of Lita Ford's 1988 hit "Kiss Me Deadly", which clearly states.
"And that's why God invented tapioca pudding." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sonKmcPGCqs
I rest my case sir.

Yeastiality?

ktkr said:
Yeastiality?

It took two pages for someone to come up with this.

trfg7xz2oxps said:
It took two pages for someone to come up with this.

Two pages and three months.

Also, almost reported again.

Cucumbers are way more fun than yogurt people... Lets face it. Lol. just sayin... ^_^