Yea firstly nope. U r not. Least not from wat is seen u don't appear to b. Cud b rong but in ordr to b that u need some qualifiers an u not got them.
Nxt, i kno u 2 wer like, idk wat u were but it was somethin tight. Don't mean u gotta fall for that. Ties into the previous thing but ur not a bad ur strong, albeit not so confident in ur worth. U always thnk ur not all that wrth much from the way u speak on here and on vids an streems but that Dont make u wrth any less in reality tho. U wer always bettr than u thot. Don let this make u feel like less than evn that cuz thats jus not true.
Bluntly, tak a break, grieve er watevr then git ovr it an com bck embracing b ing the awesome strong person we all kno an lov.

Dm for futher commentary/support if u need me