How many of you are...invisible? like socially i mean.
Ive been to clubs, bars, dating sites. ect. ive always had people just pass me over and ignore me even if im sitting alone. im definitely attractive so its not a question of that...but its gotten pretty frustrating. Im the shy wall flower type too so it could be that, but im not sure... the only time im ever outgoing or aggressively flirty is if im in 'need' yah know? XD TT^TT then im a real slut...

Esme_Belles said:
im definitely attractive so its not a question of that...

Pix plox! :D

Maybe they think you have a bf and staying away cause of that.

Esme_Belles said:
Im the shy wall flower type

This is your problem

Munkelzahn said:

Esme_Belles said:
im definitely attractive so its not a question of that...

Pix plox! :D

Yea, the relevance of any advice given here depends on the accuracy of that statement.

I get hit on daily .-. It's.. like they know I'm a lesbian.

Aurali said:
I get hit on daily .-. It's.. like they know I'm a lesbian.

Lesbians are the most attractive type of woman in a heterosexual man's eyes.

Heterosexual men love women. The only thing better than a woman is two women.

Esme_Belles said:
Im the shy wall flower type

That is your problem, nobody cares about a girl sitting by herself doing nothing.
What is a male seeing if he looks at you? Either he is seeing you bored at everything and not worth testing, you waiting for someone and not worth testing or occupied with something and not worth testing.

If you look the part you can go up to DJ, grab his mic, announce you need a fuck and you immediately get a line of boys spanning all the way through the club and out to the street.
It will be way easier for you if you pick out someone and pursue him instead of waiting for someone to muster the courage to fight a battle where he sees no chance of winning.

Other than that, depending on what you look for you may want to stay home if you need to scratch your itch.
Looking for a (serious) date while horny is just as stupid as shopping groceries while hungry.

KloH0und said:
Lesbians are the most attractive type of woman in a heterosexual man's eyes.

Heterosexual men love women. The only thing better than a woman is two women.

This man speaks the truth.

NotMeNotYouMobile said:
If you look the part you can go up to DJ, grab his mic

Don't do that, the DJ will hate you and get you thrown out.

null0010 said:
Don't do that, the DJ will hate you and get you thrown out.

Okay, ask nicely for his mic then?

Test-Subject_217601 said:
Okay, ask nicely for his mic then?

This.

As a male in his thirties living in a college town, and thus well-aware of the behaviour of my gender, I ask this:

Do you reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to be noticed and approached by random strange men who, since you're talking about first-impressions, would take up with you specifically for the superficial reason of looks?

Because, y'know...I'm here to say that's not necessarily a good idea. Try and get past the hormones telling you "omg gotta procreate" and just be okay with meeting someone later, say, in your actual field who might give a fuck about you and your interests, and not worry about jackasses in bars?

Suddenly, all the people I know (well, online) are shy (including me) ._.

What the fuck, world?

Xch3l said:
Suddenly, all the people I know (well, online) are shy (including me) ._.

What the fuck, world?

Not to be cold, but it's not that surprising. The reason you choose online interaction over personal interaction is because you're afraid of the latter. At least to some degree.

KloH0und said:
Not to be cold, but it's not that surprising. The reason you choose online interaction over personal interaction is because you're afraid of the latter. At least to some degree.

No I don't yes I do

Regardless of sex or sexuality, probably the most sexy characteristic anyone can have is confidence.

(ps. I am not a girl.)

Test-Subject_217601 said:
Okay, ask nicely for his mic then?

The DJ will tell you to die in a car fire. Don't mess with DJs, don't ask them for anything.

null0010 said:
The DJ will tell you to die in a car fire. Don't mess with DJs, don't ask them for anything.

Someone had the experience.

Adams said:
Someone had the experience.

It's also common sense. Who could imagine it would be a good idea to go up to the guy running the entire production and say "Hey, could you stop doing your actual job for a second so I can fuck around with your stuff?".

If you don't get hit on you are either less attractive than you think or not acting "proactive" enough. You need to learn how to approach guys without looking desperate. That's the main trick.

I get hit on by girls all the time, probably because I don't act interested in them (because I am not), toy with them because I am a gay misogynist and they make a sport out of it to try to "turn me around". Women are strange, the more you try to keep them at bay, the more they want to fuck you.
Before I began "outing" myself to nearly every person that shook my hand I was acting like a horny, perverted, heterosexual jock to keep the girls away. After I stopped this behavior things turned around in an annoying fashion.

Sadly, not a single time did a gay man made any moves on me ever though...

Finding partnership or at least sexual partners would be incredibly easy for me if I wasn't gay. Sadly I am living in a very heterosexual society and don't know how to actively acquire partners instead of waiting for the rare once a year chance where a friend of a friend introduces me to a fellow faggot who ends up beeing a faggot I don't want to do anything with.
The only other chances would be gay bars (I am afraid to go there.) or Grindr (I am afraid to use that.) or online dating (I am afraid to do that.).

Foobaria said:
It's also common sense. Who could imagine it would be a good idea to go up to the guy running the entire production and say "Hey, could you stop doing your actual job for a second so I can fuck around with your stuff?".

I wouldn't mind, really, if I was a DJ.
If you multi-task. c:

Adams said:
Someone had the experience.

No, I just know a few people who DJ in clubs and they hate it when people ask them for shit. They're there to play music and get people in the door and dancing. They are not there to take requests (unless they specifically state otherwise), they are not there to play shit off your iPod, they are not there to make announcements over their sound systems.

null0010 said:
they are not there to make announcements over their sound systems.

Right, there's the megaphone for that.

null0010 said:
No, I just know a few people who DJ in clubs and they hate it when people ask them for shit. They're there to play music and get people in the door and dancing. They are not there to take requests (unless they specifically state otherwise), they are not there to play shit off your iPod, they are not there to make announcements over their sound systems.

What if there's a car blocking the way, or what if the DJ's car is been towed or abducted by aliens?

Xch3l said:
or what if the DJ's car is abducted by aliens?

Free show! Woo!

null0010 said:
The DJ will tell you to die in a car fire. Don't mess with DJs, don't ask them for anything.

Oh, I forgot the part where the DJ is a giant asshole who thinks pressing play once is worth some sort of money and entitlement.
Suckerpunch that bitch and let him lie behind his giant macbook, nobody cares about him anyway.

There are good DJ's who go to the length and edit the songs on their playlist to blend in perfectly and put in the time to make sure the music is fitting from start to, no question there but way too many press play, open the equalizer, put slider under 150hz to max and think they know how to DJ.

NotMeNotYouMobile said:
Oh, I forgot the part where the DJ is a giant asshole who thinks pressing play once is worth some sort of money and entitlement.
Suckerpunch that bitch and let him lie behind his giant macbook, nobody cares about him anyway.

There are good DJ's who go to the length and edit the songs on their playlist to blend in perfectly and put in the time to make sure the music is fitting from start to, no question there but way too many press play, open the equalizer, put slider under 150hz to max and think they know how to DJ.

yay! I'm a DJ *goes to the newest night club and gets kicked as soon as the second foot steps in*

Edit: Whoa, wait. This thread is derailing slowly... :/ whatdo whatdo... uh... I'm not a girl?

NotMeNotYouMobile said:
Oh, I forgot the part where the DJ is a giant asshole who thinks pressing play once is worth some sort of money and entitlement.
Suckerpunch that bitch and let him lie behind his giant macbook, nobody cares about him anyway.

There are good DJ's who go to the length and edit the songs on their playlist to blend in perfectly and put in the time to make sure the music is fitting from start to, no question there but way too many press play, open the equalizer, put slider under 150hz to max and think they know how to DJ.

I'm talking about good DJs, they're the kind who won't play shit off your iPod because they already have a mix that they've tailored to this venue for years. They don't need your low bitrate version of Poker Face to fuck it up.

null0010 said:
I'm talking about good DJs, they're the kind who won't play shit off your iPod because they already have a mix that they've tailored to this venue for years. They don't need your low bitrate version of Poker Face to fuck it up.

I have most of my music in lossless quality, sadly, most of the "DJ's" in this city don't.

Esme_Belles said:
im definitely attractive so its not a question of that...

Not to sound mean but if you were attractive, you wouldn't be having this issue eh?

TheHuskyK9 said:
Not to sound mean but if you were attractive, you wouldn't be having this issue eh?

She's so incredibly attractive that people are afraid of talking to her.
You don't know how HARD life is for beautiful people!

null0010 said:
Don't do that, the DJ will hate you and get you thrown out.

lmao

TheHuskyK9 said:
Not to sound mean but if you were attractive, you wouldn't be having this issue eh?

an no, im not like super model hot, im pretty. an i guess its the shyness issue. funny thing is even if im sitting with my friends who happen to be girls i still get ignored :P so again its like im invisible.

Esme_Belles said:
funny thing is even if im sitting with my friends who happen to be girls i still get ignored :P so again its like im invisible.

This may be your problem. For men, the only thing more intimidating than a girl is a whole bunch of girls in a little group. When a guy hits on a girl their first objective is to somehow extricate the girl from her clique. This is why outgoing girls are most often approached by guys; they separate themselves from their group of their own volition, and make themselves easier to engage.

If you as a girl appear introverted and shy, we infer that you'll be less willing to leave the comfort of your group. You're basically setting yourself up as a hard target and as stated before, guys won't take the shot if they don't think they have a chance.

(I absolutely hate referring to women as "targets" in this context, but the diction is just too apt.)

Esme_Belles said:
an no, im not like super model hot, im pretty. an i guess its the shyness issue. funny thing is even if im sitting with my friends who happen to be girls i still get ignored :P so again its like im invisible.

You gotta stand out from the crowd and be more outgoing. A dude doesn't want a boring lady. I agree with KloH0und on this one. Be like a 5-star banana split; pretty, appealing, and different from a regular ice cream cone

TheHuskyK9 said:
Be like a 5-star banana split; pretty, appealing, and different from a regular ice cream cone

Would that not constitute being frigid?
Or did your allegory just sort of fall apart-

Aeshma said:
Would that not constitute being frigid?
Or did your allegory just sort of fall apart-

All I'm saying is: STAND OUT...and I was a bit hungry when I posted that

Yo, guys can be shy too. Alot of sexually/socially confident guys and gals are already with someone. Shyness doesn't help, but "across the bar" meetings aren't super common (from my experience). If I had that kinda of confidence, then I wouldn't be on this site atm ;P

Most relationships (of any kind) start with input of some kind from both parties. Some kind of initial contact is required.