This isn't really the place for it, but, hey, it's off topic, and right now I feel a pressing need to just.. talk.. about me.. primarily my procrastination.

I'm sure many here can relate. I'm the sort of person that.. let's say I had a 10 page paper back in the days I had to write papers.. I'd wait until the NIGHT before it was due to do it.. and I'd get an A. Every. Single. Time.

Study? PSH. Who needs to study! Homework? Meh, maybe later.

Well.. while I clearly knew my stuff, the problem is homework isn't just for taking up the time of a kid, it's also for reinforcing skills and discipline and other behavioral things.

But not doing my homework and only doing things last minute wasn't just the reason I had to test out of High School back in the day (I got a perfect 800/800 on the test and have my HS Degree, might I add,) the real reason I had to do that, and have had to do a lot more unpleasant things in my life, is because I can't be arsed to put in the effort.

Now I have NOOOOOO idea why I'm like this. I've tried to overcome it, but without a deadline.. PFFT. I'm fucked. I can't make myself go. I mean.. as it stands, now that I'm long out of college, have no more deadlines, and just do what's needed to stay alive I find myself very... distracted.

I work and do just what I need to stay alive.. that's it. Even if I /want/ to do something else, go out and be active, visit family, have fun, learn to draw better, etc, even if I make TIME and PLAN to do things they never really. happen.

I don't know how I manage to be such a massive failure.. but ever since I got into life proper I've found that I have no /real/ deadlines and without those I don't panic and without the panic I don't end up doing shit. It is immensely frustrating.

Now despite what it seems like.. I'm really not here to complain. I'm not here to whine, or cry, or for sympathy. I just.. need to talk. I have this weird burning need to tell the world just how much of a procrastinator I am at nearly 2 in the morning. Because.. that's just how my damn brain works.

Anyway... Let me just say that I've tried. I've been trying for years to actually put my skills, my talent, my intelligence, just.. myself as a whole to work, but I can't. I can't make myself. Every time I find some way to do so, something that would let me do that a voice comes along and says "That seems like a lot of work. Oh, you know what else is work? Getting gold in GW2! Let's go do that for UNTIL WE PASS OUT."

And I listen to the voice.. because I'm an idiot and can't help myself. XD

Ahhhh... Lemme tell ya, I don't know what to do with myself, my life, or anything, really. At this point I'm surprised I'm even close enough to 30 to smell it... because... ages.. have a... smell?

You get what I mean.. well.. probably not, I'm not even sure what I mean.
Whatever.

The point is, I'm lost, I'm the only one that can find me, and I don't think I ever will find myself for one really stupid reason or another.

...
...

Yup. That's pretty much me and why I am the way I am. Lots of problems, all of them with myself, and all of them causing me to slowly either go crazy or become an even worse procrastinator.. or both.. ehh.. who knows. XD

If you've made it this far.. ahh.. thanks? I'm not sure I expect anyone to actually read this, but if anyone does I may as well thank you. It's nice to know that someone is either as bad of a procrastinator as I am or genuinely cares about the well being of some random ass on the internet.

Oh, and.. one final thing.. yeah, I've looked at my life in the perspective of how short it really is. I know I've wasted like.. a third (and that's being generous) of my life so far. I wish that helped with the lacking motivation to do anything actually productive.. but.. well.. hey, here I am.. writing this.. obviously my give-a-damn is broken.

And to further stress... I'm not this way because I want to be.. I really am not.. I just have no direction.. never have had any.. and blaaaaaaah.

So.. yeah! Thanks for your time. Toodles. <3

AnotherDay said:

This isn't really the place for it, but, hey, it's off topic, and right now I feel a pressing need to just.. talk.. about me.. primarily my procrastination.

I'm sure many here can relate. I'm the sort of person that.. let's say I had a 10 page paper back in the days I had to write papers.. I'd wait until the NIGHT before it was due to do it.. and I'd get an A. Every. Single. Time.

Study? PSH. Who needs to study! Homework? Meh, maybe later.

Well.. while I clearly knew my stuff, the problem is homework isn't just for taking up the time of a kid, it's also for reinforcing skills and discipline and other behavioral things.

But not doing my homework and only doing things last minute wasn't just the reason I had to test out of High School back in the day (I got a perfect 800/800 on the test and have my HS Degree, might I add,) the real reason I had to do that, and have had to do a lot more unpleasant things in my life, is because I can't be arsed to put in the effort.

Now I have NOOOOOO idea why I'm like this. I've tried to overcome it, but without a deadline.. PFFT. I'm fucked. I can't make myself go. I mean.. as it stands, now that I'm long out of college, have no more deadlines, and just do what's needed to stay alive I find myself very... distracted.

I work and do just what I need to stay alive.. that's it. Even if I /want/ to do something else, go out and be active, visit family, have fun, learn to draw better, etc, even if I make TIME and PLAN to do things they never really. happen.

I don't know how I manage to be such a massive failure.. but ever since I got into life proper I've found that I have no /real/ deadlines and without those I don't panic and without the panic I don't end up doing shit. It is immensely frustrating.

Now despite what it seems like.. I'm really not here to complain. I'm not here to whine, or cry, or for sympathy. I just.. need to talk. I have this weird burning need to tell the world just how much of a procrastinator I am at nearly 2 in the morning. Because.. that's just how my damn brain works.

Anyway... Let me just say that I've tried. I've been trying for years to actually put my skills, my talent, my intelligence, just.. myself as a whole to work, but I can't. I can't make myself. Every time I find some way to do so, something that would let me do that a voice comes along and says "That seems like a lot of work. Oh, you know what else is work? Getting gold in GW2! Let's go do that for UNTIL WE PASS OUT."

And I listen to the voice.. because I'm an idiot and can't help myself. XD

Ahhhh... Lemme tell ya, I don't know what to do with myself, my life, or anything, really. At this point I'm surprised I'm even close enough to 30 to smell it... because... ages.. have a... smell?

You get what I mean.. well.. probably not, I'm not even sure what I mean.
Whatever.

The point is, I'm lost, I'm the only one that can find me, and I don't think I ever will find myself for one really stupid reason or another.

...
...

Yup. That's pretty much me and why I am the way I am. Lots of problems, all of them with myself, and all of them causing me to slowly either go crazy or become an even worse procrastinator.. or both.. ehh.. who knows. XD

If you've made it this far.. ahh.. thanks? I'm not sure I expect anyone to actually read this, but if anyone does I may as well thank you. It's nice to know that someone is either as bad of a procrastinator as I am or genuinely cares about the well being of some random ass on the internet.

Oh, and.. one final thing.. yeah, I've looked at my life in the perspective of how short it really is. I know I've wasted like.. a third (and that's being generous) of my life so far. I wish that helped with the lacking motivation to do anything actually productive.. but.. well.. hey, here I am.. writing this.. obviously my give-a-damn is broken.

And to further stress... I'm not this way because I want to be.. I really am not.. I just have no direction.. never have had any.. and blaaaaaaah.

So.. yeah! Thanks for your time. Toodles. <3

Whoa. That's scarily similar to how I feel. Like you, I rarely (read as: never) put any actual effort into school or anything else in my life. While I can't say that I've accomplished anything else like you (I dropped out of high school for stupid, immature reasons, never went college, and I'm nearly a decade younger than you), I've behaved pretty much exactly the same way.

All through school, I never did homework (unless it was absolutely critical to my grades), never studied for tests, and barely attended class (even when I was there, I was usually reading or spacing off). Yet somehow, I maintained a steady grade and was routinely placed in advanced classes. Everyone knew I was smart and the curriculum was never considered difficult to me, but I didn't apply myself properly.

Even today, I don't do much of anything unless it's absolutely essential. I still go into work on a regular basis and pay my dues, but beyond that, I can't seem to summon the motivation to do more. I began to notice it while writing fanfiction. When I started, I was in high school and posted at least weekly with new content. But then, about a year ago, I just suddenly stopped. Initially, I just figured that I was experiencing some sort of writer's block, but I quickly realized it was more than that. I still had the energy to write and I've even drafted dozens of chapters for old stories and newer ones, but I never seem to get around to finishing them. Which is a damn shame if you ask anyone familiar with my work, since I apparently had immense talent for writing.

I've talked about it with friends, family, and even associates on the internet, but they just brush it off. They suggest that I just need time to relax and I'll eventually pull myself back up, but, so far, it's gotten me nowhere. Pretty much the only thing I do on my own and with any sort of dedication is playing video games. My guess is that these video games give me a false sense of self-accomplishment even though I haven't actually achieved anything significant.

Point is, I understand this completely, and I think you're right about the cause being a lack of self-discipline. After all, motivation fades with time, but discipline lasts for a lifetime.

I'm kinda like that except the still getting stuff done part.

tl;dr

notawerewolf said:
tl;dr

Then why bother posting?

GDelscribe said:
Then why bother posting?

I think you missed an epic level joke there. Or enhanced it with your reply.

Sorry, I decided to sleep in until noon because I didn't want to put the effort forth to get out of bed.

Really it's more I decided to stare at my ceiling until noon, but, hey, details.

It's nice? I mean.. not nice for them.. but it's nice for me to have someone that relates to me? Lol. I'm not sure how to call it, but details.

The point is.. I'm happy that there are people that can relate to me. I never doubted it, but it's something else hearing it ...reading..it.. for yourself, yeah?

UP, yeah, I'm right there with you. Frankly I didn't technically graduate from HS, I tested out.. it meant I didn't get to walk and got a state high school degree instead of one from my high school.

As for college, I only ended up doing that because of guilt and fear. I was afraid of my step-father and felt guilty due to my mother. Of course, that was just constant. My step-father enjoyed beating me like the redheaded stepchild I was because I didn't live up to his expectations and my mother wielded guilt like a damn cleaver. XD

That's all in the past, though, and while they both try these days to do what they've always done IDGAF, you know? I stopped caring about my mother's guilt trips when I realized that's how /she/ was raised and she was projecting her own issues onto me.

I stopped caring about my step-father's anger issues when he became a busted up old man and could hardly lift his arms.

I stopped caring, stopped letting this worry me, when I started realizing the reason behind the things the people did to me that influenced me. It's easy to think of others as perfect, as better than you, shit like that. But we've all had our struggles, we all have our scars, we all had pain.. and for so many it's this pain that drives them.

Their pain, their experiences, they are what shape them, in many cases they let these negative experiences shape them into the people they are and deep down.. you can see that even they don't like who they've become, but they, themselves, can't help it.

Once I started seeing people for who they /really/ were behind the mask I stopped caring what they thought, because they were like me- fucked up. And that was the last straw.

Once I stopped caring I really stopped caring. I graduated college for me, but only because they had already gotten me started on it and I was just tired of not finishing things, not seeing them to the end.

But now.. I work.. I survive.. the only end I have left is my own, at least that's the way it feels.

Much like yourself, UP, I enjoy writing. Heck, just yesterday I jammed out a ~3000 word BDSM scene in about an hour for an RP just out of the blue. I didn't /intend/ to. It just happened. Heck, it would have been longer but I was starting to feel self-conscious about the time and the length of the scene.

I love writing, it's fun for me, but.. I just never have any motivation to do it, like some days I can jam things out no problem, but then, randomly, just like what happened to you.. it just.. goes away.

You know, my degree is in Digital Entertainment and Game Design and I've only ever actually /made/ one game. In flash. It was kinda pathetic because it was done last minute, like everything else I've ever made.

I feel your pain, man. And if you're that young.. I gotta tell ya, find someone.. anyone to help you. It'll be hard, no doubt, but you owe it to yourself to find a shrink or someone that can help you get your life together.

ME, I've looked. In this small town there's no one that's either willing to or can help. I feel SOL, but there may be a chance for you. I've been trying to get my act together, a little at a time. Lots of self discipline building myself up as best I can. It's the only reason I was able to do what little I have with my life.

I'm sorry you have to go through similar things, that you randomly have issues doing things that you love doing, too. It sucks, and I wish I could help you. But at least I can sympathize with you. I hope you get that spark back at some point. That you're able to write and finish what you write. You deserve it.

One thing that's always helped me with writing is reading the works of others. Whether it's a published book by a popular author or more fan fiction. I also get inspired by watching others play games, or by watching movies, or simply immersing myself in media. It helps me create all these unique and fun ideas and makes me /want/ to write.

So I do.

Of course having someone else to write for definitely helps, as well, from what I've experienced.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

Has interesting stuff on why. :3

Inside the mind of a master procrastinator | Tim Urban