there has been some decent feedback from the first so I decided to throw out another one. this is issue 2 of the 6 I made. - the nice scene!

Partners remorse i2

a woman was at her door as she struggled with her keys and one bag too many to handle properly. Somehow she managed to get the keys out of her purse and finally in the door and releases a sigh as she unlocks it to enter her apartment. Just as she does a man comes up behind her and forces her threw the door.

Katie takes the report of the neighbor as her partner went to check for video from the cameras and she closes her notebook as the csi team arrives. They look at her and she closes her pad. “ You left the scene unattended?” Katie shook her head. “ There is a mt that called it and another two inside. Me and my partner is just getting eye witness reports.” The csi officer nods and start to work. She says bite me to herself as she starts to knock on the next door.

Katie files the report on the rape and murder case and finishes it up and sighs. “ You know I wish I could just shot these ass holes.” Tyler smiles as his over sized body typed his own report. “ First you talk about how you like being controlled sexually and I tried that with you and now you want me to back you pushing the bounds again. No, not this time.” Katie eyes him mildly annoyed but also pleased. It was her fault she knew. She been giving him confusing signals and hints. “ Well when push comes to shove I hope you got my back.” Tyler lifts his hands from the keyboard and flexes them before looking at her. “ And you got my back right?” Katie smiles and nods. With their reports done they went back to their squad car.

Tyler just comes out of the coffee shop with two fresh brews and gets in the car when he notices Katie looking on the in car screen. “ They got a few suspects already for that one from this morning.” Tyler puts her cup in her hand and takes his own and pours some powdered milk in it before blowing on it and putting the lid back. She starts looking around as he takes a look at the photos. “ Come on, they giving us this?” Katie sighs before taking a drink. “ It not that bad. Rough description in four hours. We will get more info soon.” Tyler relaxes and puts his shoulder out the window. “ Your right of course.” After a few minutes of silence the radio blares. “ Attention all cars. We have a code...”

Tyler ducks as automatic fire rattle the windshield and opens the door as Katie turns the wheel. She then crawls over the seat as Tyler had his gun drawn firing the semi-automatic in return fire. She draws her own gun. “ Cover me while I get the big guns.” Katie nods as they go to the back of the car and pop the trunk. She uses a nearby car's mirror to spot the shooter and raises as he raises up to get in the trunk. The shooter sees what they were doing and Katie pulls the trigger of her gun and nails the shooter in the head. She looked at the result pleased and then looks to Tyler to see him on the ground. Some blood under him. “ Partner?” He rolls over showing his vest being hit three times by automatic fire as well as his arm. “ Ow, that hurt like hell.”

After coming from the hospital Tyler sets the keys to the door in a bowl beside the door before helping Katie with the take out bar-b-q and she closes the door. After dinner she takes off his shirt to see the bruises on his chest and the bandage on his arm. “ All right, your turn.” Katie looked at him puzzled. “ For what?” He smirks. “ My shirt is off and you get to bask in the glory so.” Katie crosses her arms annoyed and looks away but looks back at his pecks as he bounces them. “ Fine.” She unbuttons her shirt revealing her bra. He smirks still bouncing his pecks and she rolls her eyes. “ Can you stop doing that?” Tyler looks at her tits. “ I guess.” As he did an awkward silence occurs and they both looked away from the other. Tyler then looked back at her. “ This kind of reminds me when we would play doctor.” She starts to blush a little and goes behind her back and takes off her bra. “ All right drop them.” Tyler hesitates as he stands and undoes his belt showing his boxers. A moment later those drop showing him hard. She raises as well and drops her pants and panties as well before moving to him and kissing him as she grabs his cock.

*there is more ;)*

Somehow it doesn't seem like a forum is the best medium for sharing your stories.
If you already have a dA or FA account or anything like that, you might be better suited posting your work there.

Your writing is bland and uncreative, and littered with errors in both orthography and punctuation.

I have a pastebin link here that goes into more detail about your writing.
http://pastebin.com/wdYE696i

The general idea is that stories can be put in the description of a related picture, but the forum really isn't a good place for story dumps.
I think.

EDIT: And is this even furry? No mention of species.

one... I do not have those accounts jackalfag. I recently joined here on e621. I normally post fan fict to online games I play.

Two as for the errors I do not think they are as big as you are leading them to be, but I know they are there I just do not have the skill/ability to fix them! That and this is how I write!

Three AS for story dumping I like sharing my stuff to be read and where I normally post I post for 'less' mature audiences. This is WAY!!! to far adult for those forums.

Four, is it furry? Yes... and no. Tyler I intend to be a dragon and Katie I was thinking something a little more... well racist! As in being a feline. However I left it open for interpretation and imagination. As well as maybe letting an artist see this and be like, 'this has some decent meat on the bones to work with'

OH and for the work being uncreative and bland... you are taking the reading literal without creating elements I am not telling. That and it is a story going over 6 issues! You read a chapter.

we need a neural network that measures creativity

@okmaster
- How old are you?
- Is English your first language?

This site isn't to post stuff like this as we focus mostly on visual art more than anything (e.g., what you can upload: images, Flash, videos).

I'd recommend checking out SoFurry as their site is designed more for sharing written works, and would give you a more suitable audience to read/critique your writing.

Shameless plug: If you like RP, you might want to check out F-List as well.

okmaster said:
Two as for the errors I do not think they are as big as you are leading them to be,

You could say a lot of the complaints I gave were merely nitpicking, but this does not change the fact that there are bigger issues with your writing than a few nitpicks. Primarily, the hospital, IKEA erotica, your inconsistent tensing, and that this character of yours apparently starts filling out something she's already filed away.

okmaster said:
I just do not have the skill/ability to fix them! That and this is how I write!

This gives the impression that you have little desire to improve and that you're perfectly comfortable with the ability you have now. This is not a good thing.