This has been a debate on my mind for a while now, anyone here told others IRL that they're a furry? How did that go? Wanted to indulge someone else into the fandom, but too afraid of the repercussions.

Oh god, no. Well, not to most. Only to very select friends who are generally open minded and receptive to the idea who for the most part, don't really care. To them, it's about as taboo as being gay (in that it barely is). But they were already pretty good friends to begin with so I figured there was no harm. It helps to have a group of friends (online anyways, met up through an RP forum before for some reason going "let's make furries" for our oregano demigod universe) who were already into it/got into it alongside you and have *some* presence to back you up. Nothing really changed except there were jokes about my trash preferences, but all ultimately harmless and in good fun.

It also depends on well, how much it dictates your lifestyle. That's the truth of it.

Everyone else, absolutely not. Even though I'm not as "furry" as others (in that I don't really see the appeal of fursuiting, or have a want to visit a con, and so on) I'm not afraid to leave subtle hints. Background picture is from a Jennadelle commission from a while back, I generally play anthropromorphic characters in tabletops (if it can be helped/is sensible in said RPG), and I have some level of bias towards anthro characters in various media.

But it's also absolutely not something I'd indulge in besides discussing it with another friend for fun. While it's an important part of how I approach storytelling and characters, it's also not something I want to make the forefront of what I am. It's sort of like being gay, but never really having a "coming out" to everyone? Which is okay, so long as that's how you want things to go. It just is. I think people would be most accepting of that, but I do understand the appeal of letting it out and about. Still, it's probably not the best for a sudden "here's everything furry!"

All my friends and close family know. Only my youngest sister has ever given me a lot of crap about it, but that's just her in general. Nine times out of ten, if someone knows I'm furry, it's because they asked where I was heading off to and I answered Anthrocon.

Not the same thing, but in the same vein, and I think I can give you a useful perspective on this. I've told a fair chunk of my family and a number of my friends that I'm a zoophile.

Let me ask you this: Why exactly do you want to tell anyone that you're a furry? What exactly is "being a furry" to you in the first place?

For me, being a zoophile is something fairly major. It affects a good portion of my real life. This isn't generally the case for someone in a "fandom". If "furry" is just a fandom for you, that's probably a sign that you want to keep it to yourself. Likewise, if it's just a fetish, again, people don't generally need to know that.

Basically, if this is something you're really dedicated to, or it's particularly, then maybe you've got a reason. If not, keep it to yourself.

Though it also depends on the sort of relationship you have with whoever you're going to share the info with. If you've got the sort of relationship where you discuss lewd things all the time anyway, then who cares? Not a big deal at that point.

idk why i would tell them. i mean if they find out, then okay, whatever, but i dont see the point of especially telling them..

When it comes to friends, i only reveal my interests to specific ones (already furries or equally depraved in other aspects). Only bad things are the lame ''beasties'' puns and teasings.

When it comes to family, i just got tired of hiding stuff on my pc so i declared my interests (after a bit of ''testing'', naturally, and one thing at a time - first my interest in large women, then of fox/cat/wolf/dragon/etc-women, and then of large fox/cat/wolf/dragon/etc-women).

The reaction was mostly meh to positive since my clan is mild traditionalist & mild liberal (ie. you could in theory transform into a cat/cougar person so long as it wouldn't make you nuts mentally). Though i still didn't tell them about some of my other interests within the furry subculture - males and herms/intersex, since i'm not interested in those when it comes to humans (God help me if humanity ever does create furries irl, i'll have a cr@pload of sexuality issues to sort out :) ).

As for the general public - no, no and no. I live in a fairly conservative country so that's out of the question, and frankly it's none of the society's business to know what i do inside my own four wall so long as i am not hurting anybody.

Welp those are my two cents.

No.
Then again, I just browse porn now and then (like every day) but I never though about myself as "furry".

Clawdragons said:
Not the same thing, but in the same vein, and I think I can give you a useful perspective on this. I've told a fair chunk of my family and a number of my friends that I'm a zoophile.

Let me ask you this: Why exactly do you want to tell anyone that you're a furry? What exactly is "being a furry" to you in the first place?

For me, being a zoophile is something fairly major. It affects a good portion of my real life. This isn't generally the case for someone in a "fandom". If "furry" is just a fandom for you, that's probably a sign that you want to keep it to yourself. Likewise, if it's just a fetish, again, people don't generally need to know that.

Basically, if this is something you're really dedicated to, or it's particularly, then maybe you've got a reason. If not, keep it to yourself.

Though it also depends on the sort of relationship you have with whoever you're going to share the info with. If you've got the sort of relationship where you discuss lewd things all the time anyway, then who cares? Not a big deal at that point.

Thanks, yeah furry to me right now is just appreciating the artwork and online chats right now, but I do have a tendency to lean more towards anthro in videogames and other stuff in life. Definitely don't have an interest in fursuiting, would go to a con. Just sucks that furries have to be some sort of secretive thing in the first place, but I blame the people who take their fetish too far for that.

Haljkljavahlibrz said:
The reaction was mostly meh to positive since my clan is mild traditionalist & mild liberal (ie. you could in theory transform into a cat/cougar person so long as it wouldn't make you nuts mentally). Though i still didn't tell them about some of my other interests within the furry subculture - males and herms/intersex, since i'm not interested in those when it comes to humans (God help me if humanity ever does create furries irl, i'll have a cr@pload of sexuality issues to sort out :)

If furries existed in real life that would be awesome and I'm totally being a Panther. Sadly there's too many other problems that comes with furry that people don't tend to think about, such as all the shampoo costs, fur in the drainage system, and how in the world businesses are supposed to handle the height differences.

Clawdragons said:

For me, being a zoophile is something fairly major.

gasp

no
way

UnseenPanther said:
If furries existed in real life that would be awesome and I'm totally being a Panther. Sadly there's too many other problems that comes with furry that people don't tend to think about, such as all the shampoo costs, fur in the drainage system, and how in the world businesses are supposed to handle the height differences.

I'd be a cougar or some other kind of big cat, as for the fur inconveniences i think that the ''cave-man treatment'' (washing only with water) would suffice for general fur areas and that you'd need to shampoo only once per week, the stinky/easily soiled parts (hands, feet, mouth, armpits and naughty bits) are fairly small and i think that simple cleaning substances would suffice nicely).

I have a hunch that ideally we could see irl furries at least in the latter half of the 21.st century.

Fenrick said:
gasp

no
way

It's almost like the users here now might not necessarily be the same ones from over a year ago (the last time I mentioned this) and that the information might be relevant for the context of my answer.

Gasp indeed!

Haljkljavahlibrz said:
I have a hunch that ideally we could see irl furries at least in the latter half of the 21.st century.

Please, tell me this theory.

Clawdragons said:
It's almost like the users here now might not necessarily be the same ones from over a year ago (the last time I mentioned this) and that the information might be relevant for the context of my answer.

Gasp indeed!

Surprised i missed you admitting to being a zoophile in the original post, was in a hurry reading because of work. Unlike most other people who would probably read that with disgust I shall instead say that takes some real balls to admit to friends and family. I can never be as brave as that XD.

It doesn't necessarily mean he fucks animals.
So stop gasping.

No, I don't really class myself as one either. Don't have a 'sona, don't have interest in suiting.

I just browse the art.

Its fun to try to spot furries though.

Telling people you're a furry is like telling people you're a vegan.

I only tell if they ask. Just recently, my friend asked me why my YouTube name was TheHuskyK9, and I told him. He said, "Oh, cool." :V

Usually I just let my friends figure it out on their own. Or I just joke about being a furry until they ask if I am.

TheHuskyK9 said:
I only tell if they ask. Just recently, my friend asked me why my YouTube name was TheHuskyK9, and I told him. He said, "Oh, cool." :V

I'm surprised he didn't just Google it because the second link is literally a WikiFur article about you, and then your FurAffinity, DeviantArt, Weasyl and e621 accounts.

I don't really have friends, it's also something that doesn't come up in casual conversation with coworkers. Although I have like ten different hoodies with fox and bunny ears,and in all my time at college only one person guessed I'm a furry, he didn't really care he just asked I said yes and that was the end of it.

Although to be honest it doesn't affect my life in any way, other than my various hoods, the wallpapers on my phone and my claws which may be because I'm a furry or it may be so I can take the ears of my enemies. Oh and the porn I've drawn which I've shown my brother because I was so proud of how it came out I just had to show someone, but he already knows I'm a furry although not that particular term or the actual depths of my depravity he also doesn't care.

However I do understand unseenpanthers problem, the one thing I've never told anyone else is that I'm a nudist, even though I wish I could work up the courage to do I could be comfortable more often.

UnseenPanther said:
Please, tell me this theory.

PM me if you want to discuss it further (or start a new topic), as it is not the relevant topic, and also since when i start blabbering it tends to escalate quickly.

Doomguy666 said:
However I do understand unseenpanthers problem, the one thing I've never told anyone else is that I'm a nudist, even though I wish I could work up the courage to do I could be comfortable more often.

Being a nudist doesn't sound like a problem at all, in fact it sounds awesome to admit that to people. Like "yeah, I like to sit around the house naked when no one's around, so what?!"

NotMeNotYou said:
Telling people you're a furry is like telling people you're a vegan.

They look at you funny either way... *sigh*. Though if I had to choose, I would still come out as a vegan before I came out as furry.
Also thanks for everyone's response so far, I see this isn't necessarily a thing you have to admit. Maybe this might be the last time I post in this thread, maybe not. *shrug*

UnseenPanther said:
They look at you funny either way... *sigh*.

My point is more that both aren't exactly important things other people would care about. The only times it's relevant for someone whether or not a person is a vegan is if they're trying to make food for them. In no other scenario will their food preferences make a difference, or be relevant information.
The same goes for being a furry, in day to day interactions that's not going to make a difference to anyone.

Vuno said:
Usually I just let my friends figure it out on their own. Or I just joke about being a furry until they ask if I am.

This. Sarcasm can help hide the truth :V

Also no, no one knows. Some just speculate it but the fact that, over here, few know what a furry is (and of those, basically no one knows me) it makes it pretty much ignorable

Xch3l said:
over here, few know what a furry is

Do you happen to live south of the Great Trump Wall?
Where men are still macho and women would never have sex with donkeys

I haven't told anyone that I'm a furry but that's mainly because I just never saw any real need to do so.

I have never told anyone about my sexual preferences or interest in furries.
I will tell them if they ask me, but I will not do it in the first place all by myself.

I see no reason for it. When nobody asks me about it, then nobody cares.

Also, we live in the year 2018.
Being gay is neither a crime, a sin or anything else and it should be accepted by everyone.
IMO the same thing goes with the furry fandom. If someone likes something or someone else, everyone should accept that and move on. Sadly, this is not always the case.

The only people who know I'm a furry are my online friends who are and aren't furries. I couldn't really tell any of my rl friends I am one or even my family. One side of my family is pretty religious, so there's no way in hell I'm telling them, the other side is much more open minded, but I don't think they even know that furries exist.

Clawdragons said:
It's almost like the users here now might not necessarily be the same ones from over a year ago (the last time I mentioned this) and that the information might be relevant for the context of my answer.

Gasp indeed!

a year? hmm

Family and friends know.

I was aware of a furry club at college. I chose to avoid it, but I wasn't exactly shy about who I was on campus. [1] [2]

So I do wonder if I ever talked to anyone from that club.

Munkelzahn said:
Do you happen to live south of the Great Trump Wall?
Where men are still macho and women would never have sex with donkeys

Yep, though there's no Famous Great Trump Wall yet, men are fat macho and/or narcos or wannabe narcos and women and donkeys aren't on the same place :D

tbh I've never seen a donkey around here. Horses yeah, donks rarely...

Thinking a bit more, out of the 100% of the population over here, I'd say that 5-15% know what's a furry

I don't see any reason to keep it secret. If anyone asks about my hobbies and they see my art, they'll figure it out. I also used to wear furry costume parts for special occasions and a suit for Halloween. If anyone had anything negative to say about it, they've never told me to my face.

Yes. 12 years ago Word got around the school and someone decided to accuse me of making passes at literally everyone and their dog. Yes literally. Lost a lot of childhood friends who called me a freak. The conversation went:

"You a furry?"
"What's a furry?"
"People who like animals that are like humans."
"Oh, then yes."
"He has a gun!"
"What ar-"

And then I blacked out,

I'm a pervert, but I wouldn't consider myself a specific anything beyond that.

I'm very choosy, though if you look at the number of favorites I have you may think otherwise.

When it comes to this site, however, I browse it primarily because there's such a vast array of artistic talent that goes through it and it's all amazingly easy to find.

I don't know, some people like Van Gogh, and go to places like the Louvre for their art, me, I enjoy looking at random erotic pieces from all manner of artists.

I really wish there was a non-furry e6. This is easily the best-sorted booru on the internet. You can find pretty much anything you might want to find simply and easily.

Yet, I digress. For me it's a minor fetish, not something I immerse myself in. For other people, however, it is part of their life. They go to cons, they buy animtronic tails and ears, and they live a whole culture surrounding this because it feels natural to them and they feel included and happy in it. If this is a part of your life then, yeah, it's probably a good idea to let those that care about you know this about you. It's better if you explain it than let them discovering it and getting the wrong idea, after all mainstream media has done nothing to make furries look good in any light.

Yet, that's just my two cents.

For the love of god, no! Nothing wrong with it but... I'm not just furry, I'm a lot of things, furry, otherkin, dragonkin, pagan, general hellspawn. Nothing illegal, I just don't think anyone else needs to know.

No. To be frank, I'm not even sure if I'm a furry. I don't even have a fursona or an OC.

IndigoHeat said:
No. To be frank, I'm not even sure if I'm a furry. I don't even have a fursona or an OC.

Not necessary. People joke that there are "The 9 circles of Furry". Just liking the style would be at the top.

IndigoHeat said:
No. To be frank, I'm not even sure if I'm a furry. I don't even have a fursona or an OC.

I didn't have a character until late 2014 or early 2015. I accidentally joined the IRC, got harassed by Ratte, somebody asked what my sona was -

2-3 years later, I think this might be terminal.

Knotty_Curls said:
I didn't have a character until late 2014 or early 2015. I accidentally joined the IRC, got harassed by Ratte, somebody asked what my sona was -

2-3 years later, I think this might be terminal.

That's how it starts. Then before you know it you're waking up in the middle of the zoo wearing nothing but a foam cat head.

I'm not a furry, since I don't have a fursona or anything. I just like the porn/NSFW stuff, that's it.

iihg said:
I'm not a furry, since I don't have a fursona or anything. I just like the porn/NSFW stuff, that's it.

Oh, have I got news for you.

iihg said:
I'm not a furry, since I don't have a fursona or anything. I just like the porn/NSFW stuff, that's it.

This might be the main reason why I don't like grouping people as "furries", similar to "gamer".

There's simply so wide range of differend kinf of people who fall under it. There are many who only like anthromorphic animal designs more than human ones, but never create fursonas or do cons.

^ Same for most labels applied to people, AFAICS. It's necessary to use them sometimes, but they tend to be misleading more than they are informative.

I prefer to be explicit whenever possible -- eg 'people who like anthro artwork'. And insist that what I said is what I meant, at least closer to what I meant than the label could possibly be (ie. if you want to boil it down to 'furry' in your own mind, then that's your business, but if you then go on to respond as if 'furry' is obviously the same thing as 'people who like anthro artwork', then we'll have a disagreement. The content of labels is rarely obvious.).

Umbrella terms in my observation also serve as a kind of hedging mechanism -- because they are overly general, if someone objects to the term, then you can respond (passive-aggressively, AFAICS) with 'well I didn't mean THAT, I meant <this particular subset of X, usually with a no-true-scotsman tacked on>'.

Oh wow, people still commenting on this thread.

iihg said:
I'm not a furry, since I don't have a fursona or anything. I just like the porn/NSFW stuff, that's it.

Yeah, I think that still counts as being furry for most people.

savageorange said:
^ Same for most labels applied to people, AFAICS. It's necessary to use them sometimes, but they tend to be misleading more than they are informative.

I prefer to be explicit whenever possible -- eg 'people who like anthro artwork'. And insist that what I said is what I meant, at least closer to what I meant than the label could possibly be (ie. if you want to boil it down to 'furry' in your own mind, then that's your business, but if you then go on to respond as if 'furry' is obviously the same thing as 'people who like anthro artwork', then we'll have a disagreement. The content of labels is rarely obvious.).

Umbrella terms in my observation also serve as a kind of hedging mechanism -- because they are overly general, if someone objects to the term, then you can respond (passive-aggressively, AFAICS) with 'well I didn't mean THAT, I meant <this particular subset of X, usually with a no-true-scotsman tacked on>'.

All the more reason why it sucks that furries have to be grouped as people who like animals having sex to the media.

CCoyote said:
Definitely not. My mate and boyfriend are furry, and we all share that, but we're really not out to others.

The reason for us has less to do with furriness itself and more to do with other furries. A lot of the furries we know IRL are immature, unable to hold down a job, unable to function in the real world, and not well socialized. Part of that could be age because we live in a college town, but honestly, non-furries we know at the same age function just fine.

I dunno. I can't explain it even to my own satisfaction, but I don't want to come out and be associated with some of the other furries in my own local community. :/

I like to think that I'm decent when it comes to social interactions.

Knotty_Curls said:
I didn't have a character until late 2014 or early 2015. I accidentally joined the IRC, got harassed by Ratte, somebody asked what my sona was -

2-3 years later, I think this might be terminal.

Once you go furry, you never go back.

m8 I've been around for a hell of a lot longer than that, like 2008 or so, but ye

UnseenPanther said:
All the more reason why it sucks that furries have to be grouped as people who like animals having sex to the media.

Eh, It's not just that. It's "so.. you want to be an animal?" or.. things about liking kid's cartoons too much ... or "What's wrong with being human?" or something like that.. it's not just sexy animals... i'ts just..

I think there are like, 2 extremes and some shades of gray in the middle: on one end you have people who get really passionate about... whatever their thing is: Maybe it's Harry Potter fanfiction, maybe it's Steven Universe or my little pony, or Dark Souls and Legend of Zelda, or Pokemon or Glee or K=pop bands, Star trek or fanfiction, fan art, cosplay .... whatever. Whatever it is, they get really into it. It's part of how they enjoy a thing.

and on the other hand you have people who... don't. They're the ones who say that their favorite TV show is X, but don't know the title of the best episode, and when you start telling them about it "oh, I might have missed that one." That's okay. They have other things they're passionate about, I'm sure.

But between those two extremes, you've got several shades of gray. Most of us? are over htere on the fannish side. Maybe we're not specifically zootopia fans, or whatever, but we're "into" something in a way that the other side just can't wrap their mind around. They're just not INTO things like we are.

So... it can be hard to understand "fandom" from the outside.

SnowWolf said:
Eh, It's not just that. It's "so.. you want to be an animal?" or.. things about liking kid's cartoons too much ... or "What's wrong with being human?" or something like that.. it's not just sexy animals... i'ts just..

I think there are like, 2 extremes and some shades of gray in the middle: on one end you have people who get really passionate about... whatever their thing is: Maybe it's Harry Potter fanfiction, maybe it's Steven Universe or my little pony, or Dark Souls and Legend of Zelda, or Pokemon or Glee or K=pop bands, Star trek or fanfiction, fan art, cosplay .... whatever. Whatever it is, they get really into it. It's part of how they enjoy a thing.

and on the other hand you have people who... don't. They're the ones who say that their favorite TV show is X, but don't know the title of the best episode, and when you start telling them about it "oh, I might have missed that one." That's okay. They have other things they're passionate about, I'm sure.

But between those two extremes, you've got several shades of gray. Most of us? are over htere on the fannish side. Maybe we're not specifically zootopia fans, or whatever, but we're "into" something in a way that the other side just can't wrap their mind around. They're just not INTO things like we are.

So... it can be hard to understand "fandom" from the outside.

That makes sense, I remember trying to tell a guy about the furry fandom, but just settled for a simple definition because everything was apparently going over his head, even though it made perfect sense to me.

CCoyote said:
Stuff

All valid reasons unfortunately. Sucks, wish you could have met more responsible independent furries who don't act like children. I know I've met some like that online. Try going to a convention sometime, people tend to be way more tame there (Though I can't speak for what happens behind closed doors).

Me being a furry is on a need-to-know basis. I don't hide it - my Discord icon and phone background are my fursona - but I don't talk about it or tell anyone unless they ask.

Maxpizzle said:
Oh, have I got news for you.

Mairo said:
This might be the main reason why I don't like grouping people as "furries", similar to "gamer".

There's simply so wide range of differend kinf of people who fall under it. There are many who only like anthromorphic animal designs more than human ones, but never create fursonas or do cons.

UnseenPanther said:
Yeah, I think that still counts as being furry for most people.

Fair enough. I perceive that to be a furry, you have to consider yourself one (which I do not, at least for myself). I think that the whole "Like anthro art? BAM you're a furry whether you like it or not." mentality inaccurate, because with that logic, every man, woman, and child who likes that type of art is a furry.

That's just the way I see it, and I could be totally wrong. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Xch3l said:
Thinking a bit more, out of the 100% of the population over here, I'd say that 5-15% know what's a furry

That % seems really high to me. Maybe if there was a terrorism-related fatality at a convention, public awareness of "furry" would hit 10-20%.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it's not like the Pew Research Center is going to do a poll on it. I think we are making up numbers here.

iihg said:
Fair enough. I perceive that to be a furry, you have to consider yourself one (which I do not, at least for myself). I think that the whole "Like anthro art? BAM you're a furry whether you like it or not." mentality inaccurate, because with that logic, every man, woman, and child who likes that type of art is a furry.

That's just the way I see it, and I could be totally wrong. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hm, can't help but remember the argument of a person who plays basketball but not think of themselves a basketball player. If your sufficiently into something, then people will call you out for it. A person who plays one basketball game with friends may not be a basketball player just like a person who likes Zootopia may not be a furry, but you have created an E6 account, liked furry porn, and even chat with furries on forums, so I just can't see you not being a furry.

Lance_Armstrong said:
That % seems really high to me. Maybe if there was a terrorism-related fatality at a convention, public awareness of "furry" would hit 10-20%.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it's not like the Pew Research Center is going to do a poll on it. I think we are making up numbers here.

With all the furry conventions and events that exist, is it too unreasonable to think that 10% of people are at least AWARE of furries, even though they may not know what it's called.

I tell people when they ask.

Otherwise it's whatever.

Besides one of my brothers, who is a dick, no one has ever given me shit.

UnseenPanther said:
Hm, can't help but remember the argument of a person who plays basketball but not think of themselves a basketball player. If your sufficiently into something, then people will call you out for it. A person who plays one basketball game with friends may not be a basketball player just like a person who likes Zootopia may not be a furry, but you have created an E6 account, liked furry porn, and even chat with furries on forums, so I just can't see you not being a furry.

For one thing, the definition of 'basketball player' is far more settled than 'furry'. If you ask $random_member_of_public to define $term, and they can't, then $term is being used for the purposes of the community in question, not for the general public.

ie. If the general public fails to define 'furry' coherently, then it may be wrong (misinforming) to use the label when speaking to a member of the general public. While, within the context of the furry community, it may still be perfectly sensible to refer to that person as furry -- since the furry community are likely to have a more solid definition.

There's actually three distinct identifications here:

• How I identify myself.

• How the community identifies me.

• How the public identifies me.

Taking my particular case:

• It'll be a cold day in hell before I personally identify myself with any group. I think that's a Bad Move (even though I appreciate people get various things, like a sense of belonging, out of it). Not a programmer, not a furry, not an artist. No.
• I don't mind if the community identifies me as furry *within the community*. It's mildly annoying but I can easily see it's predictive (eg. a 'furry' probably can appreciate and perhaps critique furry art, may know various community injokes and be aware of prominent community members)
• I don't want the community to refer to me as furry *to the general public*, and I don't want the general public to refer to me as furry, because the general public haven't got a clue AFAICS.

So that's basically my way of pointing out that the definition of 'be a furry' is relative to who you are speaking to, and it's not helpful to use a label that the recipient is likely to misunderstand.

savageorange said:
For one thing, the definition of 'basketball player' is far more settled than 'furry'. If you ask $random_member_of_public to define $term, and they can't, then $term is being used for the purposes of the community in question, not for the general public.

ie. If the general public fails to define 'furry' coherently, then it may be wrong (misinforming) to use the label when speaking to a member of the general public. While, within the context of the furry community, it may still be perfectly sensible to refer to that person as furry -- since the furry community are likely to have a more solid definition.

There's actually three distinct identifications here:

• How I identify myself.

• How the community identifies me.

• How the public identifies me.

Taking my particular case:

• It'll be a cold day in hell before I personally identify myself with any group. I think that's a Bad Move (even though I appreciate people get various things, like a sense of belonging, out of it). Not a programmer, not a furry, not an artist. No.
• I don't mind if the community identifies me as furry *within the community*. It's mildly annoying but I can easily see it's predictive (eg. a 'furry' probably can appreciate and perhaps critique furry art, may know various community injokes and be aware of prominent community members)
• I don't want the community to refer to me as furry *to the general public*, and I don't want the general public to refer to me as furry, because the general public haven't got a clue AFAICS.

So that's basically my way of pointing out that the definition of 'be a furry' is relative to who you are speaking to, and it's not helpful to use a label that the recipient is likely to misunderstand.

I like the way you think. You've done a good job analyzing the issue.

savageorange said:
For one thing, the definition of 'basketball player' is far more settled than 'furry'. If you ask $random_member_of_public to define $term, and they can't, then $term is being used for the purposes of the community in question, not for the general public.

ie. If the general public fails to define 'furry' coherently, then it may be wrong (misinforming) to use the label when speaking to a member of the general public. While, within the context of the furry community, it may still be perfectly sensible to refer to that person as furry -- since the furry community are likely to have a more solid definition.

There's actually three distinct identifications here:

• How I identify myself.

• How the community identifies me.

• How the public identifies me.

Taking my particular case:

• It'll be a cold day in hell before I personally identify myself with any group. I think that's a Bad Move (even though I appreciate people get various things, like a sense of belonging, out of it). Not a programmer, not a furry, not an artist. No.
• I don't mind if the community identifies me as furry *within the community*. It's mildly annoying but I can easily see it's predictive (eg. a 'furry' probably can appreciate and perhaps critique furry art, may know various community injokes and be aware of prominent community members)
• I don't want the community to refer to me as furry *to the general public*, and I don't want the general public to refer to me as furry, because the general public haven't got a clue AFAICS.

So that's basically my way of pointing out that the definition of 'be a furry' is relative to who you are speaking to, and it's not helpful to use a label that the recipient is likely to misunderstand.

That's fair. I've known about this issue before too, but it never bothered me. I just think of furries as people who like anthro animals, but it's true that blanket terms such as "furry" is still being argued as to their coverage as well as being misunderstood by many still.

Part of me wants to let people know, but on the other hand, some people may not be as accepting to it as I know of people who believe everything the internet says about them, so...

qwuoyedgwx said:
No damn way.

In real life there wouldn't be ANY hint to my liking furries. My family, friends, even closest - have no idea.

Funny thing is, I even joke about furry stuff in front of my friends. I don't take the piss out of the fandom, but we laugh about how "cringey" it is for us. The last thing I want to do is confess it. I think that information would spread like wildfire throughout my workplace and even to my family. It'd be a running joke.

To everyone, I am your typical straight guy.
To... well, me and those that see my random name on this website, I like (the kinky side of) furries. Which is true.

I don't fursuit, I don't have ANY relations to furry stuff beyond the websites I browse.

Am I proud of it?
No. Not at all. It concerns me, even.

I think it's because I started watching regular, straight porn around when I was like 14. And over time I kept on searching for porn that gradually got more kinkier over time to give me the same satisfaction for a growing desire.

Now I am 19, and this is where I sit lol.

The reason it concerns me, is that 1) someone might find out and ruin my social life (I don't have anything against what people like, it's more of how it affects me) and 2) I am still a virgin and my desire for weird furry shit will make regular sex impossible.

Gah, I'll fix it. Unfortunately, one day I will say enough is enough and stop being active on here.

Okay kid.

For one: If your friends are the type that would ruin your life over something like this? they're not you're friends.

For two: People probably care less than you think.

That doesn't mean you should tell everyone about it, but relax a bit.

For three: If you want to embrace furry a bit more, then do it. seriously. Furries are a huge community and I've heard of a lot of people making really good, life long friends in here. But it's okay if you don't want that either. It's cool. This is actually the only furry website I take part in and I consider myself a furry. Have been since I was 16. ...that said...

for four: I can't speak for your libido precisely but.. ahem.. let me be bluntly honest here: I don't like real porn. I spend my porn time here or with the written word. But this really doesn't change the fact that when my husband and I have sex, it's great and exciting and my porn activities don't really play into it any more than his do. Real life sex is different. At least to me.

Seriously, being with someone you care a lot about, touching them, smelling them, tasting them, seeing them... It, to me, is a totalyl different animal than porn. apples and hamburgers, y'know?

for five: if you really want to quit.... do it today, not some day. Don't let every moment spent with 'the furries' be a point of guilt. this is suposed to be an enjoyable pasttime. and if every fappening is filled with guilt then that's no good. Be happy and enjoy life.

for six: It's okay to still be a virgin. Honest. don't let anyone shame you for that.

Oh yes, honestly being a ‘furry’ opened so many doors. It’s like fascination, finding something outside of the realm of human beautiful, like how I view extraterrestrial life. That’s sorta how I see it in many situations, not all, but many. Basically another animal evolving, going through those ‘mutations’ and reaching a sentient/sapient form; furry :3

I’m the kind of person that believes in myths like dragons and creates theories about how such creatures may just be possible irl, living in an environment like a gas giant.

Sorta going off tangent here but yeah, I have told others ^_^

Honestly if someone’s that disgusted by this kind of thing... they aren’t really worth much to me. I personally see them as, well, multiple things... very “religious” and think of homo sapients as the only life out there and that you “should not dare” and/or even imply there’s anything else, let alone beautiful and intelligent, in the universe; would explain why aliens look like demons and/or straight up monsters from some warped dimension most of the time in movies and media in general (definitely some ‘hidden’ agenda there), people that just don’t like thing, like in any case, but just hop on this ‘religious’ mantra because they now think true anthropomorphism is easy to attack, and/or are simply stuck and are afraid to see the bigger picture.

anyhow, don’t be afraid to express yourself friends...
(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ

qwuoyedgwx said:
Thanks for the reply! Before I start, I am not a fan of being called 'kid' but other than that I appreciate what you're saying.

I"m old enough, I think, to claim the title of gray muzzle--or will be soon. :) But I"m sorry <3

I have a good relationship with my friends, and we get along very well. Honestly, telling them I like furries might actually be OK. I seriously don't know. But regardless of if they accept it or not it'd be embarrassing for me. I have a tendency to overthink and I believe that's what I am doing here. Really, my original post was very blunt, and full of assumptions. It's more of what I believe than fact and I've probably come across as ignorant.

I can definetly understand how it'd be embarassing. it'd be true if you'd made fun of nerds for liking books, but you enjoy reading, or if you joke about gay people, but you're really gay, etc. (I'm not saying you guys are bullies! Just that those are easy 'normal' analogies here. You don't have to tell them anything--after all, it's yours to tell :)

The reason I said I am concerned for normal sex is because I don't get turned on by normal porn - not even the slightest.

well, you've probably heard this before, but real porn is basically really unrealistic. Girls don't want it like that. It's actually a really big problem these days in that a lot of guys see porn and that's their sexual education about what normal sex is suposed to be like and it's really really wrong.

It tends to be WAY focused on male pleasure-- even when doing acts the female would enjoy, because it makes for better viewing.

Even 'amature porn' tends to be focused on putting on a show, and it's really hard to shove a camera in the right place to get a good view while still doing the right things.

Real sex is totally different. It can be clumsy and full of fumbles and giggles, rather than studio perfect porn where no one *really* gets off. (there are exceptions of course, but in most porn? there's not a lot of cumming.. except for cumshots.)

For this, I assumed that actually having sex would be hard- but it's nice to get a more down-to-earth view from someone, especially to confirm real sex is on a whole new level to videos and images on the internet.

Yep! Idealy sex should have an emotional connection (I mean, nohting wrong with random hook ups or whatever, but.. an emotional connection really helps. When you care about someone, you want to make them happy, and you enjoy their pleasure... it's not just about getting your rocks off ASAP. It's the giggles and the kisses, the smiles and the look when you find that perfect angle, the feeling of being close, and not jsut dick-in-hole, but arms around each other, fingers down back... y'know, love--or emotions like love-- matter a whole lot.

Again, random hookups and casual sex are great too, but, well, I dig relationships. :)

All in all, I think I am lacking a little confidence. I'll just accept the fact I enjoy kinky furry stuff, and keep it away from my friends regardless of if it's going to turn out OK or not. It's just a risk not worth taking for me.

LASTLY, I don't feel guilty to enjoying furry porn. Ok, now you're probably thinking "what the fuck" and I can understand that. Even I can't fully explain my situation hahaha. Maybe it's more to do with what would happen on the outside (friends and family) rather than what I enjoy?? I dunno.

Confidence is a hard thing for everyone, so I get you there.. and, that's fine :) you know your risks best!

and hey, emotions are hard-- so you don'thave to explain your situation :) but I do get thewhole'taboo' thing :)

1. Stay in the closet furever.
2. Get murdered by brownshirts in the year 20XX.

Pick one.

Lance_Armstrong said:
1. Stay in the closet furever.
2. Get murdered by brownshirts in the year 20XX.

Pick one.

I think the closet is nice and cozy, I'm not a warrior!

Lance_Armstrong said:
1. Stay in the closet furever.
2. Get murdered by brownshirts in the year 20XX.

Pick one.

I’ll fight fur freedom!

I really don't see the reason as to why you would tell someone something personal like that. I have a preference towards males, and I like furry art as well, but I don't see the reason to tell anyone about it outside of online circles.

I mean, other than maybe the person who brought me to the fandom, I don't think anyone I know, knows I'm a furry. I would imagine one of these days someone I know in real life is going to figure out that I am one though, since he has me added on Steam, and my username is the same on Steam is the same as my e621, although I don't think user pages get put on Google, but it's also my username on Weasyl. This person also has shown interest in a few games that look quite furry on Steam as well, funnily enough.

Coffey25 said:
I mean, other than maybe the person who brought me to the fandom, I don't think anyone I know, knows I'm a furry. I would imagine one of these days someone I know in real life is going to figure out that I am one though, since he has me added on Steam, and my username is the same on Steam is the same as my e621, although I don't think user pages get put on Google, but it's also my username on Weasyl. This person also has shown interest in a few games that look quite furry on Steam as well, funnily enough.

Bring him into the fold of the furluminati then >:D

I tried to tell my mom once but she didn't know what it was.

Only part of my family, no one else.