Topic: Tag Implication: cuckold -> infidelity

Posted under Tag Alias and Implication Suggestions

Related: forum #214603 (explanations about cuckolding)

I don't know personally, got very little tagging experience with this and it ain't my kink.

Updated by anonymous

I think I generally disagree with this.

Infidelity suggests unfaithfulness. a degree of betrayal and wrong doing. Cheating. It implies that one member of the couple is very much AGAINST what is happening.

A threesome is not cheating. An open relationship isn't cheating.

Cuckolding is sort of an interesting middle ground. SOMETIMES it's drawn like "you're not man enough to fuck her, so I will" "hey, no stop..." but in many cases, both members of the couple are very much INTO the situation... andi n many situations there's not any real indication that there's a couple involved so much as "I"m having sex with your crush" or just "I'm having sex in front of you."

case in point...

post #1747861 - Not really sure what's going on here, but the 'big bro' is the one being 'tormented' by not being in the sex act. Not a couple, in any regard.

post #1743948 - In this picture, it looks like Roxanne is showing Max where she did a sex act with someone else. Max seems to be enjoying it and is giving her pleasure. This is not an unwilling action.

post #1743971 - is another borderline case. But the panda does not seem angry or outraged. he doesn't seem happy, but infidenity doens't seem to completely apply.

post #1737030 - over here, the fox jsut seems happy

post #1671311 - the character being cuckolded looks very happily into this.

So... 'cheating' feels inappropriate to me.

Updated by anonymous

Genjar

Former Staff

SnowWolf said:
post #1671311 - the character being cuckolded looks very happily into this.

How do you tell that it's cuckolding in the first place? Could just a couple giving their voyeur friend a show.

Updated by anonymous

i think pool #5243 is a p good example of fully consensual cuckold stuff, and its definitely not cheating since the husband is part of the whole thing and obviously approves what is going on.

Updated by anonymous

There are a lot of consensually nonmonogamous relationships in which one partner enjoys watching while the other partner has sex. They are not necessarily either cuckoldry or infidelity. A good example that comes to my mind is the Stag & Vixen lifestyle. There are also people who enjoy humiliation and degradation and encourage their partner into sexual relationships with others so they can experience that.

In my opinion, there is no positive implication between cuckold and infidelity.

Updated by anonymous

Genjar said:
How do you tell that it's cuckolding in the first place? Could just a couple giving their voyeur friend a show.

Honestly, it's not my fetish... So I was going off of what other people had tagged. There are a lot of cuckold posts that don't look like what I understand 'cuckold' to be.

That said, I tried to pick pictures that seemed to have the 'essence' of what I think cuckold pictures ought to be. (as opposed to, say.... snapchat style pictures of a cumfilled pussy and "trey says hi" or just "having sex in front of a picture that implies that there is infidelity"... or what I would classify as "I am breaking up with you by sending you a picture of me having sex with someone else"... or "having a threesome")

but, again, it's not my fetish.

Updated by anonymous

Currently the definition for infidelity on the site is:
"When a partner in a relationship has sex with another individual."

Whether or not it is consensual on the part of the other partner doesn't seem to play into it. The site needs a tag for people in relationships having sex outside that relationship and so far, it seems that the infidelity tag is the one we've designated for that. If not the infidelity tag, we need something else to be that overarching term, and I cannot think of another except possibly sex_outside_relationship. Would it be better to create a tag like that and implicate both cuckold and infidelity to it?

Updated by anonymous

koll_pyne said:
Currently the definition for infidelity on the site is:
"When a partner in a relationship has sex with another individual."

I hate to do this, but...

So the original version, written in 2011 by a user with over 600 wiki edits, said

Images or animations depicting a character who is married to another character, engaging in an extramarital affair with a third character. Almost universally ends poorly for all parties involved.

Then, in September of 2018 (aka "a few months ago") a user with only 48 edits changed this to

When a partner in a relationship has sex with another individual.Note: Don't use without context. Description fields don't count when adding tags.

So, what's the context for this change? This user's pretty quiet in the forums, but he DID participate in a thread (forum #261373) where we decided, 4 months ago, to alias adultery to infidelity. This user's participation was to simply say "agreed."

I don't want to downplay what he did: He weighed in with an opinion and, a month or so later, presumably after the change had been made, edited the wiki to, in ways, be stronger.

But I could go in right now and edit the wiki to say "when a woman in a lawfully wedded relationship with a man, sleeps with another man." and say that it doesn't count when a man cheats with another woman, or that it doesn't count when it's between gay couples. But that doesn't make it correct.

The wiki SAYS something, but ANYONE can edit the wiki. In this circumstance he made some improvements: infidelity does not require marriage... however, he did not consult with "everyone" to try and find a mutually agreeable definition.

Whether or not it is consensual on the part of the other partner doesn't seem to play into it. The site needs a tag for people in relationships having sex outside that relationship and so far, it seems that the infidelity tag is the one we've designated for that.

So, one of my best friends is in a permanent threesome. She is polyamorous. Her household has three adults. It's been that way for several years and they're all quite happy with their life. Calling any part of their relationship "adultery" is pretty dang insulting to them. They do not have an open relationship. They do not have random sex with strangers. They are in a closed relationship with a total of three people. If one of them had sex with a 4th party, they would be cheating. There would be tears and anger.

Consent is very important.

Tag what you see is very important.

I"m gonna go over to the threesome tag, and pick some pictures off the first page that generally meet my criteria (being: not an obvious hazing, or gangbang or rape, not obviously a 'porn scenario' like two patients fucking a nurse, or a "threesome" in that there's one penis and two girls licking it, etc ... generally: looks like it could be someone's friday night.)

post #1765014 post #1764807 post #1763972 post #1763181

In all of these... what's the story?

Did three people meet at a bar and decide to bang? did some friends get a little drunk and have fun together? Did an established couple invite a friend in? is this a polyamorous triad?

we don't know. Is this... sex outside of a relationship? we don't know.

There's no obvious signs of there being a romantic_couple or a married_couple with wedding_rings.

I do totally get what you're saying about how there is a need for a tag to indicate sex outside of marriage. but there is a world of different between happy consensual threesomes:

post #1438611 post #168617 post #1280239

and betraying a significant other:

post #1064476 post #1668726 post #1665811

If not the infidelity tag, we need something else to be that overarching term, and I cannot think of another except possibly sex_outside_relationship. Would it be better to create a tag like that and implicate both cuckold and infidelity to it?

My main point is that infidelity, adultery, and cheating are all involuntary things where there is an unwilling party. A victim, if you will.
Most cuckoldry posts DO feature infidelity, where one character is unwilling and unhappy. But not all posts and situations are this way. There are many that seem consensual on all sides.

there may actually be a place for a tag like sex_outside_relationship or friendly_infidelity. I dunno! :) But I feel it'd be an error to try and lump them all in together.

and I'd wrap this up with a better conclusion, but it's 1:30 pm on a friday and my pharmacy is telling me that they can't order my medication anymore, SO.... time to go play phone tag. I don't have any more free time, sorry!

Updated by anonymous

SnowWolf said:
So, what's the context for this change? This user's pretty quiet in the forums, but he DID participate in a thread (forum #261373) where we decided, 4 months ago, to alias adultery to infidelity. This user's participation was to simply say "agreed."

The alias felt appropriate. Infidelity covers adultery without being specific.

however, he did not consult with "everyone" to try and find a mutually agreeable definition.

You mean this?: When a partner in a relationship has sex with another individual.

It's a entry I copied over from this. The note part is something I added to it because some people was overcomplicating it. Examples I encountered while under permission to fix the tag: 1. Folks adding "adultery" based on a story in the description. 2. Random Shining Armor lewds because people were like: "Well, if it's not with Cadance... this should be tagged as adultery. Free."

If everyone tagged like examples one and two.. the tag would be a complete mess.

Updated by anonymous

Cane751 said:
The alias felt appropriate. Infidelity covers adultery without being specific.

You mean this?: When a partner in a relationship has sex with another individual.

It's a entry I copied over from this. The note part is something I added to it because some people was overcomplicating it. Examples I encountered while under permission to fix the tag: 1. Folks adding "adultery" based on a story in the description. 2. Random Shining Armor lewds because people were like: "Well, if it's not with Cadance... this should be tagged as adultery. Free."

If everyone tagged like examples one and two.. the tag would be a complete mess.

I agree completly -- and over all the wiki entry is an improvement, man. More my point was that the wiki can be edited by anyone. There are a lot of people who hold the wiki as some sort of bible and focus intensely on the PRECISE wording written in there, while aaaaanyone CAN edit it. Had this conversation come up before that edit, we'd be having a very different conversation right now. :)

A tag is more than just it's wiki entry, y'know?

If I were to write it, it'd probably focus on the consent aspect -- when someone in a relationship has sex with someone outside that relationship, with the implication that it is happening behind the other partner's back or without their consent.

and that would be a very different conversation than the one we're having right now :)

all of these definitions are good, and apply. (and I hope I didn't make you feel bad or anything! I like your changes!) but the wiki's written by users and aliases and implications need to go beyond that. This is the time when tags are reevaluated and cleaned up a bit. Much like, I imagine, stuff was tidied up a few months ago :)

Updated by anonymous

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