Description
You can't really make depression humorous or dramatic... I mean, you can if you're a good enough writer, but not really when you're going through it. You just... want the world to stop. You wake up wishing you could go back to sleep because you don't have to think when you're asleep. But you have to get up, either because you have to use the bathroom or you're going to be late for work or whatever.
And dealing with the outside world just feels like a day-long obstacle to get back to your four walls of "fuck off"-grade solitude. Conversations test your patience. Compliments sound like sarcasm. Even saying "Hello" or "Good Morning" can feel like a chore, sometimes.
But whatever. Eventually, you learn to put up with yourself. You take your meds, you talk to whoever you need to, and you do what you need to in order to get by. One day at a time.
kamimatsu
MemberI think what makes Depression as horrifying as it has been isn't what it feels like at its worst, but what it doesn't feel like: anything. At its worst, I completely lose the ability to feel at all. The first time I got them back, the ability to express them didn't. They never have. I don't know if it's better being able to feel but always sounding as though I can't, or if I would have been better off having never gotten the ability back, still able to fake being able to feel. It sometimes feels as though I'm making the decision without choosing to anyway. It's difficult to imagine myself as a living being anymore. More like a prop.
Popori
MemberSo much intimacy in this, I have seen myself in the same way in the same situation, hoping that the sunlight disappears the emptiness in my mind.
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