Description
Candy Crush Cunnilingus
Story Excerpt
The sound of rain tapping against the tall glass windows of Alex’s apartment made for the perfect white noise as she sat and stared over the gloomy city that she lived in. She never really noticed it before, but the city looked a little dystopian whenever it rained. The sky was grey, the smog in the sky came closer to the ground, and people stayed inside, which meant the streets were mostly empty as if the entire population of the city had just up and vanished. She enjoyed people-watching a lot when it rained, even if she was up on a considerably high floor in her building and could only see the people as tiny ants and cars as Hot Wheels. With her phone in her hands and her arms looped over her knees, the tigress continued to stare out the window, watching a yellow Volkswagen Beetle as it zoomed through the mostly empty streets and splashed water all over the sidewalk. She watched it for a good minute before it turned down a street where she couldn’t see it anymore. She let out a sigh and looked out the window for a couple more seconds before she pulled her phone up to her face.
She had her group chat with her friends Charlie, a mouse, and Lauré, a red panda in it, open. The group text was fittingly called “Stripes and Squeaks 🥩🧀🎍” and they had been planning a picnic in the park for what was probably a month at this point, only for rain to put a big wet stain on it. They figured they’d wait the rain out since the picnic was supposed to take place in the afternoon anyway, but the sky didn’t show any signs of giving up, literally pissing on their plans. With the time on her phone reading just shy of 6 PM, the tigress hovered her thumbs over her phone’s screen, turned to look out the window again to see that it was still raining, and then looked back at her phone with the most disappointed sigh. She started typing on her phone when she saw the three dots appear with both the mouse’s and red panda’s pictures next to them.
Charlie: This rain can suck my fat balls. 😡
Lauré: I do not want to have to say this, but raincheck?
Alex frowned when she read the texts from her friends, she had been looking forward to the picnic and even had a basket full of sandwiches, cheeses, and a very tasty homemade Caesar salad prepared. She’d have to either eat them all or keep them in the fridge until the rescheduled picnic date, but sandwiches never tasted as good after a day or so of refrigeration as they did when freshly made. On the bright side, though, at least the tigress had dinner sorted.
Alex spent about a minute pouting about the rain and looking out of the window some more, hoping for a last-minute miracle where the grey sky would suddenly clear. But after her hopes for a last-minute miracle went from 100 down to 0, the tigress typed up a response to the group chat.
Alex: Maybe we can try again tomorrow? 😔
The frown on the tiger’s face was so massive that she could feel the strain that it was having on her facial muscles. But she couldn’t force her lips into a smile no matter how hard she tried. With her phone still in her hand, she continued to stare at it as both Charlie’s and Lauré’s photos popped up with their respective three dots again.
Lauré: Yeah, we can try tomorrow! If it rains then, maybe we can do brunch at Alex’s?
Charlie: I thought lesbians didn’t do brunch…
Alex let out a snort when she read Charlie’s reply to the red panda and waited for the inevitable voice call that usually came after the mouse made any sort of snide remark toward her. But this time, there was nothing. The red panda’s three dots popped up on her screen for a few seconds before vanishing, it seemed like she needed a little more time to come up with a rebuttal. While Alex (and Charlie, too, probably) waited, she sent her response.
Alex: We can do that! Safe from any potential rain. ☺️
The tigress stared at the group text for a few more seconds to see if the red panda had come up with something to say back to Charlie yet, but when there wasn’t anything, she swiped away from the text chat and scrolled through the apps in her “Games” folder on her phone. She didn’t have very many games, since she was more of a console and PC gamer, but she did have a few classics; Hay Day, Jetpack Joyride, Fruit Ninja, and Doodle Jump, to name a few. But her favorite, although she was often ashamed to admit, was Candy Crush: Soda… She started playing it whenever she was bored on the job (model employee behavior) and she got hooked on the satisfying sounds and visuals that were meant to lure in dumb children, boomers, and some of Gen X; she could lose her millennial card for such a crime, and how would she get her avocado toast and inability to afford a house then?
When she scrolled to the page that had Candy Crush: Soda on it, Alex hovered her index finger over it for just a second before she tapped it, got up from her seat at the windowsill, and walked over to her bed to get a little comfier. The tiger let out a satisfied sigh as she sunk into her soft IKEA mattress and brought her phone so close to her face that her optometrist would shit himself. She watched as the game’s loading screen played out on her phone, and just as the intro played, she heard a loud electrical pop.
‘Fzzzzzzzzzzzpop!’
The ceiling light in her room went out and the room turned even gloomier than before. The tiger looked up from her phone at the ceiling titty to see if it would come back, but when it didn’t, she took in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and then opened them again.
“Fuck.” She grumbled.
As if her day wasn’t already going poorly, now she needed someone to help her change the ceiling light. With a sigh, Alex closed Candy Crush and reopened her text messaging app again.
Alex: Hey, do you know how to change a ceiling light?
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DirtyRatMatt
MemberHow wholesome. ❤️
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