In life, one of the most important skills is to learn to watch for red flags. It is a difficult skill to master, requiring awareness of culture, context, and a keen eye for reading people. It can take years, even decades, to truly come to able to look at a situation and say "This isn't right, this something I should I should worry about"- because more often than not, the signs are disguised. Whether by malice or ignorance, you need that keen eye because the flags are very nearly buried in among the day-to-day habits of life, and having missed those signs is nothing to be ashamed of, merely part of the process of learning how to live your life as well as you can.

But sometimes a situation is made entirely out of red flags and you really are completely a ding-dong for not nope-ing right the fuck out Zebra Dad do you not remember the gun in the pantry!?