>Go to my local food joint
>They just announced the new Advent Impossible Burger
>(*Now with 100% less human)
>Don't even care that the old ones were onions green, they were godly
>Really hoping this new burger doesn't disappoint
>Walk inside
>Something new
>Viper girl manning the desk
>A sign of true equality, the aliens are wageslaves just like us
>Based liberation
>Get in the queue
>Line up behind some dude who's first name was probably Tyrone
>Just randomly looking around as the line slowly moves forward
>The menus on the walls
>The rundown shithole this place had become
>Damn, don't aliens know about floor cleaner or wet wipes?
>Gaze wanders over to the snake lady
>She's actually kind of cute
>Really cute
>Scales shimmering under the cheap lighting like an oasis in the desert
>Eyes like fine wine
>...Gargantuan tits straining that poor t-shirt to its limits
>Holy shit, those sweater cows were ready to burst free
>Jiggling obscenely every time she tapped her fingers on the register
>Begin pitching one inside my damn pants as my eyes were glued to those holy orbs
>Fuck fuck fuck do not poke Tyrone in the ass
>Swiftly shuffle little anon under the lip of my belt to contain his raw power
>Why do snakes need boobs anyway?
>Finally get to the front of the line
>"Hello, ssssir. How can I help you?"
>The way she says sir sends ASMR shivers down my spine
>Forget the word burger
>Straight gone from my internal dictionary
>Arms waving around like an autist who doesn't know what to do with them
>Blush and mumble something about wanting "that new thing"
>"I'm not that ssssscary, am I?" She asks, seemingly amused at my public retardation
>Takes a moment to register her question as my eyes are glued to those fucking monster mammies
>"You too"
>Blank face walk out and never go there again