When I began to draw, ages ago... I was inspired by Michele Light's style. All I knew was to try and redraw pieces I liked. People just accused me of art theft even if I said I loved her art, wasn't claiming it was original, just that it wasn't a trace and wanted to learn to draw as a result. All I ever wanted was to draw furry pinup art. I even spoke to her at MFF once and told her about this, she was honored that someone was inspired to draw because of her art. You'd think that would have cleared up that anxiety and been a motivator. I just could never get over hating myself for 1. wanting to draw sexually oriented art. 2. Still feeling terrible for being a "copycat". And I've seen many artists that seem to have begun over the years by emulating styles. It's like I just feel like I'm not allowed to do it. And all I've done is let this dream be buried in my growing depression. And I've not drawn in over a decade, as it became harder and harder to try, yet this idea still smolders deep down inside. I know it's just as simple as starting, and keeping at it. But I'm at a point in my life I feel like I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. So much horrible, life destroying shit has happened over the last year and a half... This post just... dug this up, and I'm pouring out my soul... on e6, because I'm at rock bottom? May as well shout into the void, somewhere where it's public, so it feels like its a cry for help, but will likely never be noticed anyways, because it's on a sfw image on this site. Safe bet.