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IguanasAreCool
MemberThat knowledge can be intimidating to some.
Pykes
MemberVaporeonology has been studied for far too long.
Mystie
MemberHey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon...
Gheygar
MemberHumans are not ready for this knowledge.
Emeralddragon2
MemberSomebody has seen the copypasta
Lonely Mew
Member"Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat high HP pool Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more"
Grossly Incandescent
MemberHmm
Garden hose
42raqui
MemberAss is better then pussy, change my mind.
LaCajita
MemberNice :l
Mysterionnn
MemberSo how moist your pus..
Yes
Pykes
MemberA pussy is literally made for a dick and doing it in the ass takes a lot of preparation.
All a matter of preference though.
theomorashiguy
BlockedAnd thus you've maintained one of the fundamental laws of our universe.
farcrycat
Memberi love how this become a thing
OhGoshOhHecc
MemberP r o v e i t >:)
Mikers
MemberIs there a way to learn this power?
7Wackatamoy
MemberDon't talk to me or my son ever again
Willzoneium
Member*Moist crit1kal has entered the chat*
clairemilk
Member*me entered the chat*
WorldWalker128
Member......
I can't argue the logic but I'm a little disturbed that someone took the time to actually think that through. Disturbed, and admittedly, a little impressed.
TabbyCatface
MemberNo, it does! XD therefore it's copypasta.
user 157520
MemberThis brought me joy on an incomprehensible level.
Lance Armstrong
JanitorAlways has been
Tetra 4
MemberUmbreon > Vaporeon
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
UnownZed
MemberThat, and assholes secrete a certain undesirable substance whilst the vagina has (correct me if I'm wrong) two separate 'holes' where one is meant for sexual stimulation whilst the other is too small to penetrate in the first place. Dont ask me what the second vaginal hole I mentioned is for, figure it out.
ButDoesItRunLinux
MemberCome to think of it, it would be hilarious if there were multiple competing copypastas like this. 100X more so if they were supposedly written by the Pokemon themselves...
Mushroom Kaat
MemberBut have you considered jolteon.
I don't have an argument I just think jolteon is pretty
WorldWalker128
MemberThe only thing that I can think of that Jolteon could do has to do with incorporating small electrical charges for use in intimate massaging or cuddling. While this probably would do absolutely nothing for making mating easier, assuming they had masterful control over the electricity in their bodies it would just be heavenly to come home from a hard day's work, snuggle up with your cute big-dog-sized fuzzy battery and have it give you a full-body massage with neither of you needing to move a muscle and just enjoy the close-contact.
Keyboard Fox
MemberA reminder that vaporeon’s biology is literal water
user 410578
Member"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's"
PokePornPerson
MemberPlease don't use that language, my son uses this site.
Ragnars rock
MemberWow, people are really bad at detecting sarcasm through text apparently XD, judging from the downvotes
user 112798
Member... Turn white from pure rage? I don't get that one.
TellurianTech50
MemberOh lord theres another one?
Tetra 4
MemberI know, right. XD
Tetra 4
MemberEyyyup.
SynSynSynSyn
MemberIt's for urine.
The rectum secrets mucus. Vaginal secretions are technically a type of mucus. Actually, did you know that you have mucus in your eyes? You also have mucus in your brain. Your throat even secrets mucus.
Mucus is not actually gross imo (biology student.)
Campell'sSouperMan
MemberI feel like she has a sort of smug quality. perhaps it should be tagged?
Campell'sSouperMan
MemberAnd science has gone too far
Andromedathedragon
MemberI read through this ENTIRE comment section and now i just want to go bang my head on a wall
WatcherFromAfar
MemberI've seen a lot of uncomfortable comments sections, and this is definitely one of them.
Blazkowics12
Membermy sides can't handle this comment thread i fucking swear
Ott-tot
MemberNonsense, it hasn't gone far enough!
Zanaski
MemberHowever...
I DISAGREE
carnivore4lyf
MemberI don't think there's a human alive that could survive a single session.
Mta 2 train
MemberThanks to this copypasta, vaporeon is now my favorite pokemon
privateboy169
MemberBurn it alive!
The Mechaneer
MemberIt's water, we'd boil it to death before we could ignite it. (There's a few compounds that could bypass the issue.)
Crystali Cast
MemberFreezing should be especially effective then.
implicitVoid
Membervaporeon how did you find me i changed my identity and moved of country please stay away from me
Updated
Ragnars rock
MemberThe concept of an LD 50 ruins Umbreon, so no thank you.
whistleGoesWoo
MemberVaporeon has toxic sweat
codoncodon
Memberno, they're typing (...?...) that shit is not "secreted" by the ass, it just passes through
I am dead kill me
MemberCan someone please help me find a dub of this exact image, i've seen it on youtube and now can't find it?
Updated
decaborane
MemberThis is like when a skin cream commercial says "your skin will be 50% healthier". Like, girl, cite your sources. How are you measuring tightness and moisture? Who's the control group? And most importantly, why am I overthinking this?
garr890354839
MemberTurns into one of these.
Mr Auger
MemberMe in the middle of class (the guy saying leave me alone of course, horny thoughts don't bode well with getting accounting homework done)
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