I gasped and jumped awake, but was held securely in place by a large pair of arms. I frantically looked around to see where I was, finally free of the god-awful black void and no longer surrounded by dozens of eyes.

I was in my room, on my bed.

It was just Daniel and I.

Slowly I tapered off from hyperventilating, content enough to have just a little privacy. Looking over to my desk there was a new folder, presumably the work I meant to finish earlier after dinner.

I laid my head back down on the bed, just trying to take in some modicum of relief from the episode just earlier. It wasn't long before one of those arms would loosen and a hand would carefully stroke my head, fingers gently combing through my hair. I sighed and reclined my ears, slowly closing my eyes and pulling in my legs in front of me.

"Reverend," Daniel quietly said from behind me. "We...need to talk."

There was an odd flavor of concern in his tone I don't think I'd heard before. He slowly released me and sat upright, tugging on my sleeve to do the same. Sitting up was an utter struggle; for some reason I felt more fatigued than I had over the past several weeks. Maybe it was finally catching up with me.

Once I righted myself I held my head, strangely dizzy and uncoordinated. I tried to snap out of it, reluctantly looking up to my friend. He just returned my look with a strange sad gaze before bringing his hands up to my face and holding them there.

With a deep breath he finally spoke.

"...You're relapsing."

My eyes widened and my heart slammed against my ribs as white noise replaced my thoughts. I stood up and slowly carried myself over to the mirror atop my dresser.

In seemingly no time at all, my bright orange irises had almost completely dulled to a sickly dark red. I brought my hand up to my face in disbelief, unable to parse the truth the mirror showed me.

"I...I don't understand," I whimpered, digging my nails into my cheek. "Ev...Everything was fine..."

"No, it wasn't," Daniel said from the bed. "Something's been eatin' at ya enough that your very soul is hurting. This state doesn't occur for no reason and I already told ya you're in danger of relapsing if you keep everything in like you've been."

He stood up and walked over to me, gently grabbing my wrists and pulling my hands from my face. I didn't know what to say or think, those familiar red eyes staring back at me. All I wanted to do was run, but I had nowhere to go.

The larger man took me into his arms and held me close as I broke down. Even if I wanted to say what'd been going on, who would believe me? Wouldn't I just be overheard, spied on some more? It was to a point I didn't feel safe being alone anymore, even in my own house.

"How...am I supposed to work like this?" I cried into his shirt. "I-I can't be...I can't be seen in this state! What am I going to do?"

"I'm gonna see about getting you some concealers in town if they have 'em, but in the meantime I'm goin' to work the front desk for you," he said, gently rubbing his snout atop my head. "I'm out there all the time anyway and more or less know the ropes. I'll be bringin' your work upstairs so you can deal with it here in peace, in private."

"C-Can I...even do that?" I tugged on his shirt. "What...will Morissey say?"

"I don't care what he says, and I'm willin' to bet he'll try pushing me far less than you, so just let me try to handle this. Your work can still get done and the front desk can still be manned. This ain't hard to accomplish, so I'll just tell him you're under the weather and can't deal with the greater public for a bit."

He softly rubbed my rigid shoulders, knotted tight from stress and sleeplessness. I just clung harder to him, looking for any small amount of comfort and kindness I could get.

"Once I get the concealers you'll be able to resume work as usual," he said. "I know you're worried about that, and I'm still gonna extend my offer to help with the workload. I really don't mind and I'd like to ease your stress however I can. It's evident you need it and you can't keep lyin' to yourself about it."

"...I-I will think about it," I whined. "Where is Riv? He didn't--"

"He's currently with Kuri in the common area downstairs," he replied, "and no, as far as I'm aware he didn't see you like this. I don't think he came out to investigate until after I scooped you up."

"I didn't...hurt you, did I?" I said, looking up at him.

"Ya scraped me up a little bit on the legs but I'll be fine, please don't worry 'bout it," he continued rubbing his snout atop my head. "You're far from my first encounter with this and I doubt you'll be the last. Just...please, I know you hate me goin' on about it all the time, but please let me help ya."

"...I will accept your manning of the front desk until I get the concealers," I said into his shirt. "I just...need to know how much they'll--"

"I'm buyin'," he cut in. "They're not terribly expensive but they take a few days to make. Please take the opportunity to unwind from whatever's ailin' ya so badly."

I sighed.

We stood there in silence for a short while, my head against his chest as he continued to hold me. I couldn't help but wonder if he was...alright with all of this. Surely this wasn't what he signed up for and I'd hate to be a bigger disappointment than I had been.

"Do...you..." I couldn't quite bring myself to finish.

"Hm?"

"...Do...you think...less of me?" I finally choked out. "...Am I a...disappointment to you?"

Daniel didn't say anything, but instead tugged me back over to the bed. He lay down and invited me to do the same, continuing to hold onto me tightly in the comfort of the large bed.

"No, Reverend, I don't think any less of you and you don't disappoint me," he whispered. "As I've said, I've dealt with others in your position and I'll do what I can to help ease ya back out of it, but you'll need to let me help ya. I can't do anything about things you don't tell me."

"I'm...not a disappointment?" I repeated.

"Not at all," he affirmed. "I'm gonna go ask Kuri if he doesn't mind watching Riv up until bedtime, which'll be soon anyway. As much as I'm sure you don't like the idea, I'm gonna...need ya to be separate at least until I get your concealers. I don't want him gettin' scared and I don't want you gettin' panicked, lest another episode like that occur."

"I'm so sorry, Daniel," I sobbed, my whole body tensing up. "I didn't mean for--"

I was silenced by his hand resting upon my face, his thumb brushing away my tears. He just leaned forward and nuzzled my head before getting up and leaving the room.

I...never thought I would be in this state again, and I wasn't sure where to go from here.

---

I worked in the privacy of my room for the next few days. With Riv's eighth birthday coming up soon I wanted everything to be as normal as possible for the occasion. The poor child didn't need my burden upon his little shoulders so I would do what I could to put this behind me. Perhaps out of some strange pity Morissey agreed to bring my pay back to the base wage, even adding a slight increase. I could only imagine what words were exchanged for such a thing, but the little extra money in my wallet meant a great deal to me. Riv's clothes were definitely getting small so I sent Daniel into town to get a couple new sets.

The concealers took about three days to complete, though I admit I wasn't terribly thrilled to be back in the front desk after everything that occurred. Riv seemed delighted to see me again, worried about my sudden 'illness' this whole time. Going that long without my little boy was painful and I missed him dearly, so I was happy to be well enough to see him again. Daniel had taken to bringing dinner out to the lobby so we could eat more or less like a family again. I wasn't happy with this development at first, but I missed them both so badly during the day I couldn't hold on to that feeling for very long. As long as I didn't ruin my finished work it should be fine, right?

Days, weeks, and soon another couple months would drift by, and all the while Daniel watched me closely and silently monitored my progress. It was strange to me how I didn't at all mind his stares, or Heather's stares, but the other staff just terrified me.

We held another celebration for Riv's eighth birthday, the ramiotrans from town coming by and even Heather showed up to give the child a hug and some pieces of candy she thought he might like. Spoiled as he was he got an afternoon of his favorite foods and various small gifts: Some new changes of clothes from me, a nice binder with paper and a multicolored pen from Daniel, some seashell pastries from Ulimi, and a neat little wooden figure from Tamani, from Ramios. Tamani, Ulimi, and Kuri all pitched in for a nice big lunch of seasoned meat, vegetables, and flavorful sauce on flatbread and some of those eggs on bean-paste-slathered flatbreads Daniel had at his past birthday.

Though it was for Riv, it was so comforting to see some friendly faces again. Being stuck at home all the time was driving me stircrazy, but I was terrified of possibly being recognized in town so I didn't say anything about it. The concealers seemed to be working well as I hadn't gotten any odd looks or words over it, putting me a bit more at ease. Even Riv seemed to be none the wiser which was all I could really ask for.

Maybe something went awry in my head but I started to return to my habits of affection toward Riv and Daniel. I missed these things so much and I think they did too. I just wanted everything to return to how it was before all these horrible rumors, when we could just be a family. A strange one, sure, but still a family. For a while I hadn't seen or heard much from the staff and I hoped that their disgusting allegations might be forgotten by now. Unfortunately it wasn't long before I could just feel the tension in the air after returning to those behaviors, their discontented gazes as I hugged or cuddled on my child and friend.

I just...couldn't stand the sterility, especially having grown so used to their contact. It was like losing Esmé all over again and I couldn't take it. I was being pulled in two different directions and neither side could overpower the other. I started seeing those shadows again, their digging little nags and whispers in my head. It was all I could do to ignore them, trying to focus on my family and work. It took a lot to stay calm, to push away the creeping voids and walls of eyes and retain my sanity.

I couldn't afford anything happening.

---

Each passing day was more of the same. All that progress, all of my effort fallen to the wayside all because I wanted to give my son, my precious boy, a hug, a comforting embrace, or a pleasant cuddle on the sofa-- all things he happily accepted and reciprocated, even sought from Daniel and I.

I found myself eating less and less, if I were even able to stomach leaving my bedroom once my shift is over. Most days I hid away in there with the door tightly closed until I had to come back out for some reason or another. Riv and Daniel spent their evenings in the staff room just outside, but let me be for much of it.

I hated this. I hated what this place had become. I hated what I'd become.

A note slipped under my doorway, one of many I'd been receiving lately. With reluctance I'd sit up to retrieve it, opening it though I wish I hadn't the curiosity.

"SICK FUCK"

I sighed, bringing it over to my wastebin now full of notes like these.

"YOU DON'T DESERVE US"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP THAT MONSTER HERE?"

"WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT YOU"

"HALF A MAN"

"JUST DIE ALREADY"

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"

...Many others of the same brand.

I hardly cared anymore, just trying to cover these up before the other two could find them. Out of tired curiosity I opened my door to see only those staff down at the far hall. Daniel and Riv were gone, so they were either downstairs or in the bathroom. I held onto the door and just leaned my tired head against it, my mind blank and eyes weary. These days I could hardly stand or walk without feeling dizzy or unwell, and Daniel had taken to bringing me small things to eat after hours. I hadn't an appetite, but I ate for their sakes.

The last thing I wanted to do was worry them.

Before I could close the door and retreat back into my depressing cavern a shadow from the hallway would find me, growing taller against the floor than my own. I jumped and turned around to see one of the nightstaff, eyes narrow. He walked forward and I walked back, trying to keep any distance I could from this stranger. He quickly reached forward to grab me by the collar and drag me back over to him. The tightness around my neck had me panicking, grabbing at his wrist in any effort I could expend to make him let me go, but he just kept holding me with his face in mine.

"Thought so," he said through a sneer before releasing me.

I knew better than to ask questions and just took my steps back, my back hunched and head lowered in an awkward cower. I was cornered in my own room and he blocked the only exit.

From behind the door another figure stepped forward wrapped up in a familiar black coat. I felt a harsh chill down my spine as they advanced, our surroundings fading to black. As both of them stepped ever closer I found myself closer to my bookshelf and with no out. My legs wobbled, my knees about to give in as the figure in the black coat stood front and center to tower over me. My eyes slowly adjusted to see that it was Morissey, his expression dire and his eyes a sickly red and dead black.

Worse than mine, at that.

"Get up, you nuisance," he said, grabbing me by the shirt like the previous staff. "Why do you insist on keeping that little monster here, Reverend? What could he possibly give you that I could not?"

"...Wh-What?" I stuttered, my eyes growing misty.

"Have I not treated you well all this time, Reverend?" he continued. "Have I not been kind, kept my promises, and continued to humor your cause? I've staffed your house, I've financed your charges, and kept every word, and yet you still...still keep that little demon around."

"...R...Riv?"

"I don't care what its name is. As far as I care, like you, it hasn't one. In fact, I'm proposing a new system you are required to use from now on: Your dilute charges, if you absolutely insist on keeping the wretched little things, must be referred to by case aliases."

"I-I don't understand," I choked. "What have I done wrong? I've done my work and kept my word. What is all of this?"

"My organization was attacked recently due to one of those little monstrosities and I do not take kindly to such gross occurrences," he growled, teeth bared like an angry animal. "I like your work and expedience enough to keep you around. I have fired people for far less and, were you anyone else, I wouldn't even humor work from someone keeping one of those little blights in the same building."

"This...This is m-my house," I returned, "and he is...my son."

"Oh, it is certainly your house, Reverend, but have you forgotten who it is that makes this house run?" he yelled. "I run this place, not you. I finance this place, not you. The most you pay for is yourself and that walking disease you keep tied at your waist-- and that, too, comes from me."

He brought his face right up into mine to the point I could taste his breath. Something about it reminded me of soot, like he had a fire in his belly.

"And do not bother considering quitting this place unless you have a real fantastic plan for your days," he chuckled. "I own this place. I own every major building. I run everything you see. No matter what you purchase, what you consume, it all comes back to me."

"I-I can't just...call them case aliases," I whimpered. "He's my son, Morissey! He's my child!"

"He's walking vermin you took in out of a misguided desire to help the world, but in doing so you chose to hurt your own people. Either you follow this very, very simple order or I revoke my accreditation of this home. Without it, your place will not run. Of course, do remember that choices have consequences...beginning with him."

"Y...You wouldn't dare--"

"Watch me."

My heart sank and my mind cut to static. He...He wouldn't dare hurt Riv, would he? Was this a bluff? Some kind of sick, cruel joke? I didn't understand, but the black walls of the void crept closer. More staff began pouring in through the door, all seemingly identical, and one by one the black walls filled with discontented eyes.

I was powerless to contest this demand and I needed to do anything to protect my boy.

"...I submit, Morissey."

"Good, very good," he said, backing his face away from mine. "I'm glad to hear it, Reverend. After all, you are valued here."

He let go of my collar and I fell to the floor. I choked and coughed, finally able to breathe properly. He and his staff turned around to leave, but he stopped short of the door to turn his head and face me, those sinister dark eyes piercing my soul.

"And remember-- this is to be kept between you and I."

---