Days from there were little more than numb.

I found myself unable to enjoy the things that once gave my life meaning. Every time I tried I'd be reminded, either by the judgmental stares of Morissey's staff or by the fleeting shadows in my head, that I was undeserving. All I had, what little it might be, wasn't mine in fairness, and the more days passed the more I felt this weight on my shoulders.

I'd not touched my calligraphy pen and paper in what felt like a lifetime to the point that just looking at them felt like a stab to the heart. They sat unsused atop of a cabinet, collecting dust as though to taunt me-- to mock where we'd come. At some point I had to put the things away elsewhere, acknowledging the futility of this situation and the part I'd played.

Would it disappoint him more to use the gift and waste the time I should be spending working, or to put the gift aside to continue to work?

It was hard to say, but at least if I worked I could put more money aside. My wage was a pittance with three children to care for, but time not spent working was time wasted.

If I got us into this mess, I would get us out of it.

The looks of concern I'd see from the corner of my eye was both worrying and reassuring, but I'm not sure which feeling won. Sura and Saffron, both with an awareness rivaling that of Daniel, seemed so much more cautious around me these days.

I'd barely sleep at night, doing little more than lying in bed surrounded by unsavory truths, and all day I'd be exhausted and irritable with hardly a semblance of an appetite. They'd watch as I would pick at my lunch and dinner, eating less and less with each passing meal. With my stomach in knots the thought of eating made me nauseous and I had to stop after only a few bites. Even from my chair I could feel what I could only describe as disappointment from my partner.

That was fair. I was a disappointment. At the age of forty-two they were afraid to leave me by myself for reasons I couldn't fathom, but I'd hear plenty of whispers and see plenty of eyes upon me in short bursts before some change in the lobby's audience. Saffron seemed to stay out in the lobby most often, which wasn't too surprising. I think that her experience with corruption made her more conscious of those changes in people and the behaviors and feelings that come with. While that might be reassuring to some it nagged at me in the back of my head.

Come some noon hour I broke briefly from my post to use the bathroom and my reflection caught my eye as I passed by the long mirror. It startled me more than usual, my head turning to face the reflection of a small, used-up shell of a man.

My hair was dry and stringy; my fur was much the same way. I was more gaunt than usual. My eyes had grown dim, much of the life they'd once shone just entirely absent.

I squinted upon seeing my own eyes, the scraping of my eyelids against my dry sclerae causing my eyes to water. I crept a bit closer until I was nearly nose-to-nose with my reflection.

A dark red ring had formed around my pupils and was starting its move outward down the spokes of my irises. Though it didn't surprise me I still jumped back a bit as bad news still stings even when one is well-prepared. I wondered how noticeable this had been given my eyes' normal color, provided it had been this obvious before today. As Daniel was usually so observant I wasn't sure if he'd just not bothered to say anything if he noticed so I'd find out on my own, or if it just hadn't manifested this severely until now.

...No, he wasn't like that. This must be new.

I rested my palm against the mirror, one with my reflection's, and closed my eyes. My snout pointed downward and I sighed, trying to clear my head and think about what to do from here.

A shuffling sound to my left startled me back to reality, my quickly turning my head to see two staffmembers in the hallway staring right back at me. I was close enough that my shame was plainly visible, their own eyes widening in fear and concern once they took notice. One's gaze shifted from fear to anger while the other took a step behind them, the first stepping forward.

"What's this, now?" he asked.

I stepped back, but he stepped forward again.

"Little degenerate half-a-man got a bit of red-eye, huh?" he sneered, stepping further.

It wasn't long before I ran out of space to step away, my back up against the shower stall doors. With the one in the doorway blocking my path I had no means of escape as this other one advanced upon me. Even with my back pressed up against the cold metal door he still came closer until he was but inches in front of me with his arm outstretched and resting upon the same door. For a moment he'd do nothing more than smile at the sight I presented to him.

"Would be a damn shame if Morissey found out about this, huh?" he finally said, breaking the silence.

I gasped and choked, unable to do more than look up at him in my cower.

"Been watchin' ya for quite a while, what with that little shit from the island compound comin' here," he continued, his eyes narrowing. "He might not remember her, but we do."

"...S...Saffron?" I finally spoke.

"Don't care what you call it," he spat, his face drawing closer, "just care that it's here. You've put us into a rather precarious situation, haven't you?"

"...Wh-What?" I asked, baffled.

"Takin' in walking proof of the defunct southern compound, for starters, but to say nothin' of how far up Morissey's ass you've managed to shove that snout of yours."

"I-I don't--"

"Nah, s'my turn to talk," he cut me off, placing a finger on my lips. "Been here quite a while, you know. Few years longer than you, at least. I remember what this group used to be, why it was important for us, all of that. 'Ventually you came along and, fuck knows how you managed, but since then it's not been the same. Here I was worried of something like this happening back a while ago but for some reason it went back to normal after that little ghetto north of here got wiped off the map."

"...Stipa?"

"Ah, that's the one! After that scare a number of us started talkin'-- I guess a couple of workers saw some disgusting sights involving our dear leader--"

I gulped.

"--and you could say more than a few of us lost our confidence. For a while it wasn't so bad, but you..."

His hand traveled down under my chin, his claws grazing my neck.

"Haha, god, you've driven that wedge down the schism line so hard it's impressive!"

And finally, in a flash that hand tightened around my throat.

"And it's all because one race-traitor found another race-traitor," he said, tone immediately severe. "Something about our boss fuckin' around with some dilute whore in Stipa. How poetic that the place got bulldozed by some angry wind."

Even though the pressure on my throat and the earlier thoughts clouding my head I could feel my hand ball up into a fist upon hearing such disgusting words. She was my son's mother, not just 'some dilute whore in Stipa'.

"We also know that your one kid is hers," he smiled. "We might be quiet, but we're far from stupid. Most of us, anyway."

His grip relented, but his hand still stayed firmly on my neck. It was enough I could breathe, but not much more than that.

"Were I you I'd heed my warning-- Morissey might be the talking head, but we're the ones running the show. All those staff you see, both here and in town, know everything. It wouldn't take much to...take care of a couple of problems, should they continue being problems, if you catch my meaning."

I couldn't find any words for that, which given my position was probably a good thing.

"Stick to the script, drag king, and we'll be golden. You'll make your shitty pay, you'll keep your shitty kids and oversized top. A normal life for this place."

With that said he finally let me go, turning around to take one more good look at me as I coughed and recovered from his grip.

"I'd put in your concealers unless you want to get fired," he rudely laughed. "Word travels fast in small towns like these."

I looked up once more to see only their tails as they left, heading back down the hallway. Once I no longer saw their shadows stretch down the length of the floor I stepped forth and looked down the hall. The coast was clear, so I quickly made my way to my room and over to my desk. With a heavy sigh I opened the locked drawer at the top and retrieved the small unassuming black box.

I had hoped I'd never have to use these again, but I just...I just couldn't afford to lose this work. Pride be damned, this was the only job that humored me.

A squirt of saline from a neighboring tiny bottle and I carefully placed the bowl-shaped pieces of silicone atop the surface of my eyes. Only the tiniest bit of red showed through and only just a faint line around the edge of my pupils. At least with my normal eye color it was very easy to ignore and I'd have to rely on that.

I looked down at the empty box in my hand, considering what such a sight meant. A little pained chuckle left my mouth, one at my own expense as I simply stood there.

What a mess I've become.

I put the lid back on the box, putting it back in the drawer with the little bottle of saline solution.

I wished Daniel had some way to just...take the children out of here and live a new life.

To just leave me behind. They were better off, right?

I locked the drawer and headed back for the door, looking back over my shoulder just once. Not a word was spared before turning back forward, ready to continue with my workday and hopefully make up for the time that employee had cost me.

---

I barely spoke to my family, afraid to drag them further into the mud I'd prepared. My pen breezed through sheet after sheet of letter-sized paper, filling blanks and checking boxes and computing simple math as fast as I could possibly manage. A few minutes of time was still a few minutes I had to compensate for on top of my usual grueling hours. I was working at least twelve hours every weekday, sometimes up to fourteen should there be something we really needed. Weekends I was trying to pull at least four to six hours, give or take.

I hadn't even the time for the Friday evening walks with Morissey. After a while he stopped coming by in the evenings, dropping off the extra work I'd requested during his morning visits instead. The glimpses I'd gotten as he'd hand them to me had betrayed him, an uncharacteristic gaze of concern and sadness from those usually fiery eyes.

But, of course, from behind him those staff watched me. No move was good, no move was even truly better than the other-- all bad outcomes, just bad in different ways. When Morissey would turn back to the door to leave in the mornings those staff would have already vanished, and as far as I could tell it really was as though he'd not seen them. Given how he'd spoken about them between us I had no reason to think he was lying as he, too, seemed fearful.

I thought back to that prior confrontation in the bathroom.

Were these staffmembers the real powerhouse to all of this after all? After Saffron's story I had a feeling that there was some kind of quiet mutiny going on, but I didn't think it was quite this big. I remembered that Saffron said she knew of this place because of what the guards said, but there was nothing to explain why they knew. For all either of us could infer it was just word through the grapevine. The islands aren't far from here, after all.

...Unfortunately for all of us, it was quickly appearing to be more than that. Much more.

On top of that, it was no longer just my family in danger, but Morissey himself-- their very leader.

If I speak about this to Daniel, the staff are likely to find out and hurt our children as well as both of us.

If I speak about this to Morissey, they'll definitely find out and given his past relations with Stella I don't think he'd come out of the ordeal alive.

If I continue doing nothing and remain woefully compliant, they'll focus their efforts on keeping me in line. I greatly preferred this as it was the best option available for keeping my family safe. At the end of the day, that is all that mattered.

More pages completed and set aside in another folder.

More records copied, more accounting computed.

More...inventory tracked and sorted.

...More...

...

"Reverend?" came a familiar voice, cutting through the darkness.

I jumped awake, looking around my general vicinity. It was dark outside, but I was still at my desk. Apparently I'd fallen asleep atop the front shelf, but since I couldn't recall when I had no idea how long I'd been out. Looking up in front of me Daniel's large figure interrupted the harsh yellow lobby light.

"C'mon, you, let's get to bed," he said, combing his fingers through my messy hair as I tried to blink myself a bit more awake.

The clock at my desk said eleven, which was past the time I'd usually go to bed. I had managed to catch up with the work I'd needed to sort out so maybe, if just this once, there would be no harm in cooperating. I carefully stood up from my chair as Daniel lifted the heavy side arm, allowing my passage out of the small wooden prison. He gently set it back down before taking my hand and slowly guiding me to the bedroom to call it a night.

---

I woke up with an awful headache. I couldn't pinpoint a specific cause, but it was likely there just wasn't one. All the work, the stress, the shallow and restless sleep, the nonexistent appetite...it was probably all getting to me.

...Probably.

As long as I could keep the target off of their backs, I'd do what needed to be done.

Daniel was already out of bed, likely working on breakfast for the children. I quickly threw on my clothes and did what I could to look presentable, though everything hurt and ached. The hit of caffeine I was about to take wasn't going to make that any better, but it would at least help me pretend I was more awake.

When I got downstairs there wasn't anyone in the kitchen. Maybe they were already out in the lobby.

I headed down the hallway and out to the lobby, but only Sura was at the table. Daniel, Saffron, and Riv were nowhere to be seen.

"...S...Sura, where is everyone?" I stuttered, trying to piece this all together.

"Oh, um, I think Saffron and Riv are upstairs taking a shower," she said, quickly turning to me as though I'd startled her. "Daniel said he wanted to go into town quick but didn't say why."

"...Odd," I whispered. "When did he leave?"

"Mm, about ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago?" she said after taking a look at the clock. "Not too long, but I'm not sure how long he plans to be out."

"...Al...Alright, then," I affirmed before pinching the bridge of my snout.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Just...headache," I answered. "Back hurts. Bright light not really helping."

"...Oh, I'm sorry," she replied, nervously looking off to her side as I took my seat behind my desk. "Is there anything I can do?"

"If...If you'd be so kind as to...sweep the storage rooms should you have time," I said in pieces through an aching yawn. "It's...been a long time since I'd last done that."

"Sure, I'll get right on that," she said through a little smile before standing up and stretching. "Anything else?"

"N...No, but...thank you," I quietly said, propping up my elbows and burying my face in my hands. "...I really appreciate it."

"I-It's no problem," she cautiously said before grabbing the broom and dustpan from the supply room. "I won't be long."

Past my fingers I could see the edge of a face peeking out at me past the hallway corridor, their eyes visibly narrowed even from their distance. They quickly vanished once Sura left the supply closet and I wasn't sure if it were an employee or my sleeplessness getting to me.

Only a couple minutes after Sura turned the corner to begin sweeping the storage rooms the front door opened, two shadows stretching across the floor. Daniel stepped forward with a tiny dark figure close to his side. He looked down to them, then over to me.

"...We've got a bit of a predicament."

---