Description
A Greater Society - Chapter 88: I'll Be Good by Ratte
Story
I could only really tilt my aching head, unsure what this could be about. Daniel was quick to fill me in on the matter, bringing the smaller person with him up to my desk as it was a bit hard to see them with my migraine.
Looking down to his side was a tiny new type, even younger than Riv was when we first met. My heart immediately sank, both because this was someone so young without an accompanying parent, and because of what this would mean for my income from here.
...The latter made me feel particularly disgusting. My eyes quickly darted back down the length of the lobby and toward the hallway corridor where I could just barely make out the edge of a face. An orange eye stared back at me, unshifting and even unblinking, the gaze gnawing at my spine.
"Stick to the script" would cross my mind, that staffmember's voice echoing in my head. I wasn't in a position to contest this, more so now than ever, as much as I hated it.
"...What is this?" I said tiredly, rubbing my eyes.
Daniel handed me a form.
"I'd gone out to grab a couple things from the grocery shop the other day, but on my way a woman called out to me from between some buildings," he said, rubbing the back of his head and looking down to the child. "Never seen her before but she begged me to take her son back here to the home. Guess she'd heard of it elsewhere."
"Why...was she giving up her child?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my snout. "There better be a good reason."
"...She was corrupted, Reverend, and severely so," he quietly answered. "I offered to help her as well, but it was refused."
"...Wait," I thought aloud. "'The other day'? You kn...knew about this and didn't say anything to me?"
"...No, I didn't, I'm sorry," he apologized. "You've been so busy and I didn't want to get in the way. I thought you'd be okay with it so I tried to take care of it on my own. Didn't mean to upset you or step on your toes."
I looked at the sheet in my hands. Many of the blanks had been left so, which was an inadequacy I'd probably be fingered for.
"...Hardly a personal file," I said to myself. "Not even from around here?"
Daniel just shook his head.
"Geez," I sighed, blinking my dry eyes. "Whatever, it'll suffice."
I put the paper back down on my desk and hung my head.
"Really wish you'd stop collecting these mongrel types," I said to myself under my breath. "They just take up space. Nobody ever wants them."
My ears raked back and eyes initially widened before pressing closed. What was I saying? I hoped with what remaining strength I had that such a foul thought was just from the stress and exhaustion and in no way genuine. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I were just going to turn into my father.
Daniel unfortunately seemed to have heard me, an expression of both confusion and disbelief upon his normally content face. From behind him that staffmember's face seemed to continue to eye me, but it was impossible to tell from here if they were, or I was just seeing things. My vision was strained and full of auras, but I didn't want to chance anything.
"Well...that's not fair to them," he responded, subtly shaking his head. "They still need help; we can't just ignore that."
"...We really can," I said with a cringe, hoping to placate whoever kept their watch.
Daniel's disbelief turned to disgust.
"They're people too, Reverend," he snapped. "Act like it."
That eye across the lobby seemed to widen, as though surprised by Daniel's response. As though like the flip of a switch I was immediately put on-edge, afraid of where this might go.
"I'd watch that mouth of yours if I were you," I snapped back.
Daniel looked down at me not with anger, but with concern. I could only assume my large eyes had betrayed me, showing not anger or irritation, but fear and worry. He was always such a perceptive man and something told me he knew this was a front even if he didn't know why.
Something from the direction of the hallway corridor seemed to catch the child's attention, his little feet scampering over to the mouth and his head poking around the corner.
Daniel watched as the tiny child hovered around the doorway, his interest lost to something much more interesting.
"Con--...Azure," he called, "don't go getting lost, now."
I looked back to the paper on my desk. Seemed he'd already chosen an alias.
"Let 'im wander," I yawned, trying to calm my nerves. "He'll need to get used to this place, anyway."
I grabbed a pen from the holder as the little boy vanished into the hallway.
"As for you..."
"Reverend, what is your problem today?" Daniel asked sharply, putting his hands on the edge of my desk. "I know you don't like when I do your work for you, but this was for a good cause. I'm sorry I left a lot of blanks, but I was working with any information I could get-- there just wasn't a whole lot. I'm not going to just lie on documentation."
I sighed, resting my hand on my forehead. That figure seemed to finally have gone, though now I was even more unsure if it had actually been there at all. I didn't like risk, but knowing there was a chance I'd fronted for no reason made me sick to my stomach.
"...I'm sorry," I said just barely above a whisper.
From far above me I could see him tilt his head before moving my hand away from my forehead and placing it in his own.
"Your hands are clammy and cold," he said. "You're also trembling a bit. You having any palpitations?"
I was taken aback by how quickly the conversation had shifted.
"...S...Some," I managed to squeak out.
I hadn't really been paying much attention to it, admittedly, but once I tried I could definitely feel it past my other bodily aches and pains.
"Got a headache, by chance?" he asked further. "Noticed your eyes seem to be bothering you."
"...Yes," I answered.
"Sensitivity to light, too?"
"...Mhm."
He sighed.
"So, anxiety and a migraine," he said. "I know you won't step away from your desk even if I ask you to, so I won't bother, but I'm going to put up some curtains for the big window to ease the light a bit and take a look in the infirmary to see what I can do about that. I'm gonna guess you're a bit sore everywhere with how rigidly you're sitting."
"Y...Yes," I reluctantly affirmed, afraid of where this might possibly go.
"Alright, I'll keep that in mind and I'll be right back," he said as he advanced toward the corridor. "Gonna grab a curtain from one of the common rooms real quick before I head outside again."
He disappeared into the hallway, a man on a mission. I couldn't do much more than just bury my face in my hands.
What was I becoming?
Surely this is just the stress and not me, right?
...Right?
It wasn't even a minute before he returned with a rod and curtain, setting it up neatly in the lobby window. While not perfect it cut down the harsh glare which would bounce off the floor and up into my eyes all day, and that alone was a relief. He didn't stay to chat after that work was said and done, I guess wanting to tend to my pointless ailments sooner rather than later and disappearing back out the front door.
I picked up the little boy's documentation, now a little more able to see without pain:
Name: Connor
Alias: Azure
Age: 3 years
Race: Faraden
Type: New
Sex: Male
Hometown:
Home region: Faradus
...No surname, no hometown.
If I had to guess, given what I was told, the mother was a vagrant. Daniel did say they weren't from here so there was no telling where they might be from, and I doubt that carrying a personal file around is a priority as a corrupted-- speaking from experience. Often you'd rather nobody know who you are in that state. It's safer, both for you and for your family.
Regardless, as a new type I'd be withholding his file and treating him as a permanent resident. I grit my teeth thinking about how this would affect my pay, getting less for more and with more children to care for.
...Moreover, how this affected my savings.
I had been trying to work more and more to hopefully save up enough to get us all out of here, but with a new child -- and one so young -- it would be absolutely essential we rent some kind of wagon. I might be able to get away with traveling on-foot with the other three, but a three-year-old? Out of the question.
Worse yet, I'd likely be tapping into that savings before long. New types grow so quickly and I didn't see a bag or any belongings with him aside from some kind of blue scarf around his shoulders. I'd hoped so hard that he would be content with hand-me-downs until I could get my next pay. The one nice thing about having three children was there was plenty of older clothes in good condition, and Sura would...hopefully not mind potentially modifying them to better fit, if need be.
Daniel returned with a small white pill and a glass of water.
"Because you're small I cut this to half the normal dose," he said, handing it to me. "This works quickly, usually within an hour, but it can have some unwanted effects like dizziness and poor coordination. If anything like this happens I absolutely implore you to let me know and I will take care of your work for the day while you rest. Please, whatever you do, don't lie to me, okay?"
"...Okay," I replied, taking the glass of water.
"And further, these can be physically addictive so I'm not going to make a habit of this," he continued, patting my head. "If you need something more long-term -- which you probably do -- then I'll weigh some options."
I didn't like the sound of that, but downed the small pill anyway, not even stopping for a breath before the water was gone.
"I'll be out here in the lobby after I sort out dishes and get Connor something to eat since I doubt he had anything before coming here, but that should be plenty of time before the effects kick in," he said, taking back the glass. "I'll let ya get back to your work in the meantime."
He bent down to leave a little nuzzle and kiss on my head before taking his leave.
---
A soft rhythm of tiny footsteps on wood grew louder, making their way into the lobby. Lifting my tired head I saw Connor, Sura holding his little hand and following close by. I guess he already picked a favorite, assuming from Sura's looks. Sura looked at me, her expression troubled, as Connor toddled over to my front desk.
"H-Hello, Con...Azure," I said from over the edge. "Did you need something?"
His big blue eyes looked up at me, a gaze of childlike curiosity.
"Sura said I should stay away from you," he said with his head tilted, "but you looked real sad."
"...Oh?" I replied, tilting my own sore head.
"S-Sorry, Father," Sura blurted from her distance, her ears dropped to the side. "I just wanted him to leave you alone while you're working. That's all. But he really, really wanted to come see you."
"Please don't apologize, sweetie, I understand," I responded, lifting myself from my chair. "I've...not been the kindest person, lately, and I'd been meaning to say something on that front anyway, if possible."
Reaching for the heavy desk arm I slowly lifted it, then pushed past the desk's door. Carefully I walked around the corner to properly meet this new resident, feeling awful about my scathing words from this morning. Such things...never came to me normally, and I was not happy with the person I was becoming.
"Connor," I very quietly whispered, taking a knee, "I'm very sorry for what I said earlier. I'm very...very tired and sore, but that is no excuse for my behavior, especially regarding children. Could you please forgive me?"
I held out my small hands and he was all too eager to take them. With a big smile he surely nodded his head, and though it's likely he hadn't even heard or understood my words earlier it was still a relief to be forgiven.
"U-Um, I was wondering something," Sura said, walking a bit closer. "Did...Did someone tell him that he's here because he was bad?"
"Not...that I know of?" I replied. "I didn't say anything of the sort and Daniel wouldn't ever think to. Why?"
"He was...uh, awfully convinced that it was the reason he was brought here," she continued. "I don't know what went on before he glued himself to my tail, though, so...thought I would ask, is all."
"Hm, well...there is a thing with children, especially younger children, where they will often blame themselves for the things their parents go through," I said, combing my fingers through Connor's hair. "Rarely is it ever the case, but it's something I've seen and heard a lot over the years. From what I understand, she was a corrupted and took him here to...hopefully have a better life than the one she could provide."
"...O-Oh," Sura shuddered. "I'm...sorry to hear that, and sorry for accus--"
"Please...don't apologize, Sura; I really do understand your concern," I said, looking back to Connor's contented face as I gently scratched his scalp. "Looks like you've been washed up and groomed already. I'm sorry for the hand-me-downs, but it's...all I have right now. I'll...try to...work a bit more to get you some of your own clothes, okay?"
Perhaps it was the glossiness of my eyes or the wavering in my voice that prompted Connor to wrap his tiny arms around my small ribcage. He gently rested his chin atop my shoulder and hung on like that, his hands resting on my back.
"You seem really sad," he whispered. "Momma always told me to be nice to people, 'specially when they're sad, 'cus they're going through a lot that you don't know about."
I wasn't sure what about such a simple gesture and statement rocked me so hard, but I felt my arms ascending and wrapping around the little boy in response, surely to the dismay of the house staff. He squeezed on me just a little tighter and I felt my small body start to buckle. Wrapping my unkempt, frayed tail around him my tears began to fall.
I was so tired.
Just so...so tired.
No amount of work, no amount of time ever seemed to be enough. Somehow, at the end of the day, I was still behind and this wasn't about to get any easier from here. Even so, to have such a kind and cuddly child here was...worth it, I thought. I felt horribly weak and awkward crying on a three-year-old, but between my sniffles the little boy just rubbed my back to comfort me.
"You're okay, you're okay," he'd repeat. "My momma said it's better to let those things out instead of holding them in so much. You should do that, too."
"Your mother was a smart woman," I softly chuckled. "...Thank you, Connor. You're a very kind boy and I'm happy to have you here."
He rubbed the end of his snout against my cheek, so I retorted by rubbing mine atop his head. Given his giggle he seemed all too happy to accept it before running back over to Sura as she beckoned. Both of them waved back to me before they disappeared past the hallway corridor, leaving me to the remainder of my shift.
I slowly stood back up, turning back around to face my desk and the endless slog that awaited me.
I hoped that, somehow, all this mind-numbing work would finally be worth it again.
---
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Count Umbra
Member"Don't talk to me or my son ever again."
Marmaduke343
MemberProbably the only time you will see a look like that on Daniel's face. That guy could stare a hole right through your soul.
Tarov
MemberDaniel is a top quality sweet guy. He deserves the world. I'm surprised, though happy, that he hasn't been a direct target of the staff's hate-campaign.
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