Each day seemed to crawl by at snail's pace. Every time I looked at the clock only a minute or two had gone by, yet it felt like hours. I suppose anticipation does that to you, makes you hyperaware of the passing of time unless you have something else to put your mind to in the interim. It was late summer, nearly autumn, and we currently homed no pure residents.

While I'd offer to take some of the load off him, he'd decline. There came a point he'd gotten annoyed at my persistent asking, so I stopped. I wanted to help, not add to his stress, but his stubbornness was making that difficult. Unable to get him to part with even a sheet from his stack I tried to pass my time making schoolwork for Harley and some simple reading words for Connor. Sam was so overworked and exhausted that he hadn't the time to contribute to this anymore. Even the ramiotrans looked worried about his condition, but without adequate privacy no words could be exchanged, only glances and subtle gestures.

I tried to make it a point not to stare at him too long and make him more uneasy, trying to hint at the other two adults to do the same. Even if they hadn't a clue what it was about, specifically, they seemed willing to grant him the courtesy. In fairness, nobody really likes to be stared at.

The children seemed to pick up on something as well, but they couldn't quite place what. Sura mentioned something about feeling a little off, like a weird sense of dread, while Riv nodded in agreement. It was said loudly enough that I know Samuel overheard, his pen no longer moving and his wide eyes just staring blankly at the papers in front of him. This caught Saffron's attention.

"Father?" she called from the table. "Is something wrong?"

He jumped at the sudden voice and dropped his pen, the metal casing landing on the wood floor with a thud.

"Ah, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I-I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine!" he said sharply. "It's fine! I'm fine!"

Though he wore a smile his eyes shone pain, an expression of fear and mania. The last thing he needed or wanted was his children knowing about his condition, especially if that meant the news reaching the staff. The reasons for the corruption wouldn't matter, just that it existed would be all the ammo they needed.

Sam bent down behind his desk to retrieve his pen, putting it back to the paper. Even from here I could see him trembling. The children looked to each other for some kind of explanation, then looked to me. It killed me that I couldn't answer, my just shaking my head. They weren't happy with my nonanswer but seemed to understand that this wasn't a good time.

My mind was elsewhere as I prepared meals, most of the kids taking to spending their wait in the common rooms. I could barely make out their conversations, but I'd pick up on Riv's irritation with Sam's strange behavior and outbursts. Sura would pitch in her speculations, mentioning that he'd always been easily startled and how it was possible his concentration had just been broken. Saffron was silent, but I could hazard a guess as to why-- having experienced corruption herself she might remember how it felt and how to recognize it, but knowing what it meant she might not want to reveal it and put him in jeopardy.

Another evening crawled by. After the kids went to bed I stayed by Sam to take him to and from the bathroom and fulfill our nightly routine before we retreated to our room for the night. It seemed that he was alright as long as I was nearby, with outbursts fewer and further between even if it weren't perfect. He could at least get to sleep without much issue provided I was there with him.

Another day crawled by, another night following.

The children had opted to stay out in the common areas unless it was time to eat, the ramiotrans watching them while I stayed with Samuel in the lobby. While one might think he'd feel a little better with fewer eyes on him he looked more worried, likely out of fear that he'd driven them away. He was aware of his behaviors but powerless to stop them, like trying to hold in a sneeze. It was not unlike the idea of someone else controlling your body while you can do little but sit and watch, and whoever controlled it didn't have your best interests in mind.

Another day, another night. Another after that.

The clock was ticking. The days slowly passed.

It was getting harder to make excuses. I knew the children wanted answers.

Another day, another night.

The oldest three tried to bring the youngest two away to give Sam space and hopefully not add to what appeared to be work stress. Everyone was walking on eggshells while not knowing why.

Another day, another night.

Please just hang on. I'm doing all I can. Please.

The day finally arrived, my biding my time until nightfall. I tried to press on like any other day, the usual rounds of schoolwork, meals, and supervision. I didn't want to invite suspicion any more than my sudden interest in nightly outings might have already invited. After dinner was done and the children were in bed I turned my attention to Sam, taking him for his routine and bringing him to the bedroom to lay him down for the night.

"Sam, I'm gonna be in town again for a little bit, but I'll try not to take too long," I said as I covered him up, tucking him in snug. "I know you're tired so please, please just hold on while I'm out, okay?"

"...I will...try, Daniel," he said, muffled into the comforter. "...My head hurts."

I bent down to kiss his cheek and run my fingers through his hair to keep him calm and comfortable. Asking what I had was asking a lot if I were going to be away. Anything could happen. I had to be smart with my time.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," I said, standing back up. "I love you."

"...I love you, too," he whispered.

I briskly walked to the door and closed it behind me, ready to head into town. This was to be the final meeting before we gathered all of those interested, so we had to make it count.

---
***

I stayed in bed. My head was pounding, my back was stiff and sore. Everything felt some flavor of wrong, like my body had been pulled apart and put back together with everything in an improper place. I could do little more than stare in front of me, trying to focus on the objects in the room in some attempt to concentrate. I found that if I could concentrate hard enough I could push away some of the intrusive thoughts. It wasn't perfect, but it helped enough that I found myself doing it as often as possible.

All I could hear in the otherwise silent room was the quiet ticking of the clock at my desk. The sound brought me back to working behind the bigger desk downstairs, the thought driving me sore and ill.

I'd barely eaten the past several weeks, too unnerved by all the eyes on me. Even if they didn't mean it all I could feel was quiet judgment. Even if they didn't know, they knew. Something was wrong, something was amiss. They might not know what it was, but they knew it was something.

I could barely face my children anymore. It wasn't because I didn't want to, but I didn't...feel worthy. They were so perfect, and...I was barely alive, barely more than an automaton incapable of anything but pushing papers.

...I loved them.

I missed them.

I hated what I was becoming. I hated what everything was becoming.

I was no better than the man who made me-- a harsh truth that bit and gnawed at my very core.

On top of this, I'd recently signed an agreement to take in two more children for temporary housing before their mother could arrive and take them. They were faradens, but coming all the way from Qaywas. They were new types, and though it was only temporary the weight already felt like the world on my narrow shoulders. All it would take was the staff finding out, whether through paperwork or through their arrival, and it might truly be the end of me.

The clock continued to tick. Each second's passing felt like an hour, the sound like an icepick in my ear. It was so hard not to jump when it was so loud, the only thing keeping me from doing so was the rhythm of it all. If I could at least anticipate it, I could brace for it.

I brought my hands up to my mouth, clinging tight to the comforter. The comforter had Daniel's smell, the familiarity keeping me as calm as I could manage without his actual presence. I felt so stupid and weak like this, reduced to little more than reflex and instinct like a wild animal trapped in a cage.

I slowly blinked, concentrating on the wall. Blinking again my eyes eased up to your portrait, your bright smile and windswept hair. The last time I was caught in a mire this severe we'd just met. I'd just run away from my home in Falun and, after a few days, arrived in Hagali. With no energy left to continue onward I skulked around in the alleys in some attempt to find a place to rest. The moment anyone looked at me I felt nothing but an overwhelming compulsion to run, to hide, to shrink away to nothing and be forgotten. So used to the hatred and scorn from others I'd grown that I expected the same from you.

...But you hadn't even a trace of their malice. Somehow I could trust you, even at my weakest and most vulnerable, though we barely knew each other. In a strange way it felt like...perhaps you'd passed the torch to Daniel, a man so tender and loving he reminded me a lot of you.

I felt my pulse and breathing slow as I tried to just focus on your portrait. My eyelids lazily swept over my eyes and my exhaustion started getting to me, my limbs going stiff and my vision blurring. It had been so long since I'd had a proper sleep I was forgetting what it even felt like, but eventually my vision darkened, my body trying its damnedest to rest.

---
***

"So did y'all manage to get any feedback?" I asked, putting my hands in my pockets. "I know a week ain't much time but hopefully it was enough to get your toes wet."

"Quite a bit, actually," Yua replied. "To our surprise it seems most of those who'd expressed concern at least claimed they'd be willing to take some kind of action if it were needed. For the most serious ones we took down a name and address should it ever come to it."

"A lot of the ones I got were already on Yua's list after a bit of cross-checking," Ulimi said after a drag. "We went ahead and did that much for ya since it's just dumb busywork, though it was nice that so many were willing to do it twice. Don't think they'd do that if they didn't mean it, though I've been wrong before."

"Naw, I agree with that," I said, shaking my head. "And you, Morissey-- any in your group you think are trustworthy?"

"Only a few I could say for certain, but I haven't broached the subject with them yet," Morissey answered.

"Good on ya," I nodded. "After today ya probably could, just be real damn careful about it."

"Of course."

Yua pulled a sheet of paper from a clipboard bearing a lengthy list of names and addresses.

"Here's the consolidated list between our shop and the grocery store," she said, handing it to me. "Even if it ain't the whole town it's certainly more than nothing, plus all of us here are more than happy to back the cause."

"No that's...quite a lot," I mumbled, poring through the list. "A lot more than I expected in a town this far south. And they know about the new types?"

"Pretty sure," Shindi said. "We've never kept it a secret how we felt about new types, and when it was brought up most of them were already aware of it. Despite that they seemed bothered by the potential of mistreatment."

"Pretty ironic given their rioting at the home," I said.

"In fairness, that was mostly the dock workers," Ulimi said. "Yanno, the same people who also worked on building the infirmary. I think you guys made enough of an impression that it made at least a number of them rethink their position."

"Huh, well then," I commented, eyebrows raised. "Do you two want to continue gauging the populace? I ain't privy to your shop traffic."

"Couldn't hurt," Ulimi said. "We're putting the extra money into making batons for those who want to get involved. Nothing lethal, but still effective. As much as I don't want this to get ugly I don't think they're gonna go quietly."

"Agreed."

---
***

I lied in a void of nothing but darkness, unable to even see my own hands in front of my face. Flexing my stiff, cramped fingers did nothing, as though not even a shred of light existed where I was. Sitting upright I looked around -- all around -- but could still see only endless black. No matter how hard I looked nothing could be found, not even myself.

Then, all of a sudden the cacophony of voices permeated this seemingly endless void. They were the voices of those I knew, from those in the town shops to my own children. The voices overlapped so much that it was nigh impossible to follow a single thread, but they sounded angry.

They were angry, and with me, no less. I could only pick out a few words and short phrases:

"Failure."
"You hate us."
"I hate you."
"Get lost."
"Just die."

I didn't think I'd ever heard them say anything of the sort, at least not to me, but those were...definitely their voices. There was no mistake.

This must be what they really think. It must be what they really want.

The sound was deafening, the ticking of the clock like thunder in my head. Without a moment to spare the floor of the void went ablaze in a sickly crimson fire, burning at what remained of my fur and skin. No surface was spared despite my standing up and running, and though I couldn't see anything but the black void and lightless fire I appeared to run into some impassable object, falling back onto my rear and back into the flames. I scrambled to turn some other direction and run, but again slammed against some unseeable obstacle. The voices echoing and shouting were so loud I couldn't hear my own feet against the floor or the crashes I made as I ran into things.

My skin was on fire and burning, yet that skin still remained. My fur was still there, supposedly, as I'd run my fingers through it, burning them in the crimson fire just trying to make sense of this.

An endless burning. Was this hell?

Had my body finally just...given up? It had already gone through so much I wouldn't blame it if it had.

This was futile. There was no point in fighting this anymore.

I curled up into a ball and let the fire claim me, hugging my legs to chest. The sky above, pair by pair, started filling with eyes. Whose eyes, I couldn't quite place, and soon there were so many it was impossible to distinguish one pair from another. They were all focused on me, unblinking and full of judgment as the reflection of my body in the fire shone on their corneas.

A sudden crash broke through the yelling of the voices. I jumped back alert, even engulfed in the flames, but could see nothing more than fire and eyes all around me.

A thump. Another thump. Thumps so loud they reverberated in my head, through my whole feeble body.

Thump.
Thump.

They seemed to grow louder, as though getting closer, yet I saw nothing and couldn't place their position.

Thump.

A horrible screech that had all my fur standing on end and a cascade of ice rushing up my spine.

---
***

"Alright, I gotta start headin' back," I said with a yawn. "Thank y'all for your hard work; it's absolutely invaluable. I'll try to come back a week from today and we can go from there."

"Sure, sounds good," Ulimi agreed, scraping out burnt matter from his pipe. "Should be plenty of time to get the batons ready. Luckily they ain't hard to make."

"Good, good," I nodded. "Okay, Morissey, let's get ya home."

---
***

The sounds were everywhere around me, like I was surrounded with no hope of escape. Whatever this was, it wanted me gone if the noise was any indication. Angry stomping and sharp, shrill banshee screeches shook me at my very core.

But then out of nowhere -- out of literal nowhere -- came a touch: A searing, burning touch against my face. I jumped back, hitting something I couldn't see and unable to move any further in that direction. Turning ninety degrees yielded the same result. I was stuck in some kind of corner.

I just wanted this all to stop. If I were to die, at the very least, I wanted peace.

Another touch upon my face I could only liken to a branding iron, yet I couldn't scream. No matter how hard I tried my body wouldn't cooperate and instead brought up my arms to defend against something I couldn't see. I felt my surroundings, taking swipes, and through the darkness and chaos seemed to find the source of the burning, scalding pain. My addled brain had no time to think before my arm lunged forward in a desperate attempt to apprehend the invisible assailant, grabbing some kind of mass and squeezing. It put up a struggle but I couldn't see what it was, going only by touch as it flailed and screeched.

My eyes were wide in a desperate panic as they struggled with all their might to see, but to no avail. After some time I felt something wrap around me, squeezing me while something else forced my hand open. Whatever I'd grabbed had escaped.

"Reverend," I heard, Kuri's voice cutting through the void.

I couldn't respond. I felt something shake my body.

"Reverend, snap out of it!" he said again.

Snap out of...what?

Like a camera flash I was suddenly blinded, the void gone and replaced with my bedroom. I was on the floor with Kuri's arms around me and Tamani just past him kneeling down.

"...Ku...ri?" I uttered. "...What...Why are you..."

My head felt like it was full of water as I struggled to hold it up, trying to see past the red ramiotran to what had Tamani's attention. In front of him seemed to be another person if I was seeing properly, the sound of little sniffles heard coming from them. They parted from his front.

It was Harley, with tears in her eyes and a look of utter fear as those apple-green eyes fell upon me. She took a step back while clinging to Tamani.

"...What...did I do?" I asked.

"...You were choking her, Reverend," Kuri replied, incredulous.

I gasped and my eyes shot wide open, my covering my mouth. I lunged forward, but Kuri held me back.

"Harley, I'm s-so sorry!" I cried. "I didn't mean to hurt you! I'd never want to hurt you!"

My words seemed to only confuse her back into tears. How could I even begin to explain?

"Fortunately I don't see any cuts or the like," Tamani said. "I'm so sorry that happened, Harley."

"Harley, please!" I continued to cry. "I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!"

Tamani stood up and took her by the hand, their looking back to me once before heading out the door. Harley's face bared a look of fear and betrayal I'd hoped to never see again.

"...I'm sorry," I sobbed into Kuri's shoulder. "I-I'm so sorry."

Kuri kept his arms wrapped around me as I sat on the floor, bawling into his shoulder.

***

I arrived back home and, for some reason, felt a sudden wave of dread upon walking through the door. The house was overall silent and nothing seemed unusual, so I ascended the stairs and hung a right. The moment I laid eyes upon the open bedroom door I knew something was wrong. Picking up my pace I rushed to the open door to see Samuel on the floor, tangled up in the comforter and with Kuri holding him in place. Kuri's arm was drenched in tears and Sam was hyperventilating. Various small things had fallen over in the room, knocked off their original surfaces.

A couple books on the floor, a table knocked over. Some papers strewn about.

...

I was too late.

---