My memories faded and I was brought back to the present, the eyes of seven children all upon me. I stood near the hallway corridor with my hand against the wall, my fingernails gently grazing the texture of the place I -- and at one point, they -- called home. As delighted I was to see them again, to finally tell them the other side, I was consumed by worry of where it would go.

Would this side matter?

Had I just wasted my time? Worse-- had I wasted theirs?

"...It's...been a long time, children," I said, barely audible, "and while I wanted to give you privacy and a chance to live your lives I admit I...perhaps selfishly sought you out for this moment."

The younger children tilted their heads while Riv and Harley kept their intent gaze with me.

"...I wanted, above all else, to apologize," I said as my eyes welled up. "I-I should have been...been better to you. I sh-should have fought harder for you. I...I sh--"

The sudden movement of feet across the floor startled me and cut me off. The pair of black feet slowly sauntered toward me, and though I knew whose they were I was afraid to look. Instead I just stayed silent, terrified to keep talking and potentially say the wrong thing or seem pathetic as this was not about me.

I just...wanted them to know. I wanted them to know everything that went on, every cause and effect that led to the lives they lived. Reasons, not excuses -- and certainly not justifications -- for the twisted and confusing lives they once led. Beyond that, and if at all possible, I wanted them to know that I loved them. I'd always loved them. Not a day passed where this wasn't true, no matter how tired I was, how scared I was, and even no matter some of the unsavory things I might have said.

Time seemed to slow as the feet drew nearer, everything around us caught in a temporal shift while between us it flowed freely. Finally they stopped just in front of me.

"Father?" came a gentle, yet almost excited voice.

I could only rake my ears back and continue looking to the floor. I didn't deserve to look at her after what I'd done.

...Likewise, after all I hadn't.

She didn't give me a choice, however, as a pair of hands found my face to pull up my gaze. They carefully brought up my head for my eyes to meet hers, mine quickly darting to some other corner of the room.

"...Father, please look at me," she said.

I flinched as she requested it, but did ease my eyes toward hers once more. Her expression was warm and cheery, even understanding, and nothing at all like the tear-stained face I last saw before they all departed. No, it was...instead much more like how she'd been before, just older.

"...I'm...I-I'm--" I started to say, but was stopped by arms suddenly coming around me.

Harley, the daughter I'd hurt and scared so badly, hugged me tight. I froze, afraid to move, but she just hugged me tighter and gently swayed with my scrawny little body in her arms. The longer she held me, the harder it was to hold back my emotions.

"I didn't understand then, but...as I got older, as I thought about it more, something didn't make sense to me," she said against my chest. "Even on your worst days you tried to make it up to us, you tried to apologize, and we all saw just how much you worked. It didn't seem like something you'd do on purpose, and I remembered you trying to apologize."

I gulped, trying to blink back my tears.

"I was scared," she said. "Too scared to make sense of the apology. Probably too young to really know what was going on. All I knew was I'd gotten hurt and who did it. I didn't know why. Now I do."

The most I could do with this information was whimper. I wanted to say something but no words would come to me, the gears in my head all jammed.

"I can tell just how sorry you are," she continued, swaying with me in her arms. "You never liked to let anyone see you cry. It's okay to cry."

A couple tears, to my dismay, left my eyes and began traveling down my tired face. I was hoping it would stop there, lest I make a scene and look more pitiful than I already did.

"I forgive you."

The dam broke.

I hadn't a chance to fight it, or to even try, as my eyes began to pour. My face was utterly drenched before too long, finally mustering up the strength both in my head and in my arms to return her hug. I hugged and squeezed, receiving a simple phrase I thought I would never hear, from one of the people I'd hurt the most. It took all I had to stay standing and not buckle and collapse onto the hard wooden floor. As stupid and pathetic as I might be like this she continued to hug me, even rubbing my back as I tried as hard as I could to rein in my sobbing.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the tears slowed their fall and my breathing calmed. I wasn't completely back to normal, but then again I hadn't been so in many years to the point I wasn't sure how that felt anymore. I'd settle for not making a mess of myself and crying all over my child like some kind of drunk at the very least, attempting to pull myself together as she slowly separated from my front. She rested her palm against one of my soaked cheeks, rubbing her thumb through the wet fur.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Father," she said. "Maybe now we can be a family again, the way things are supposed to be."

My ears dipped a bit further. There was no way that could happen no matter how much I, too, desired it. Before I had a chance to get lost in a snare of self-loathing another pair of feet would start coming toward me in a slow, hesitant stride.

My heart pounded.

My throat went dry.

I could barely breathe.

"...I admit that things make a lot more sense now," came that familiar voice, and one I couldn't face.

Each step taken had my knees weakening.

"All this time I thought the staff were doing what you wanted them to do," it continued. "I thought they were your subordinates. Since it was your house, that's just what made sense to me."

Another step, another pang in my chest as my heart slammed against my ribcage.

"...Granted, while it makes things make more sense, this is information I wish I'd had back then," it said. "Maybe things could have been different. Maybe I could have done something different."

I turned away, facing some part of the floor.

"But...at the end of the day I'm glad to finally know what all happened, and from those I needed to hear it from the most."

Again the feet stopped just in front of me, my entirety covered by an impressive shadow. From far above me I felt a pair of eyes, but couldn't quite understand what it wanted.

"Given your size and other physical matters, I think you really did try to play it smart with what you knew you could and couldn't do," came that voice. "After the fight in front of the shop you've never been one to take risks, and even in that case that wasn't a risk you were even aware of."

I raised my shoulders.

"Maybe there was more you could have done," it went on. "Maybe more both of you could have done. It would have just taken a breaking of a contract, something finally done in private, and a lot of the problems could have possibly been solved much sooner."

Another lingering tear crept down my cheek.

"...But I think you knew that at the time. You were afraid of what might have happened had you been found out. Even if the infirmary were soundproofed it was still a safer bet to just stay quiet. I get it."

A pause ensued. I wasn't sure what to do or say so I just stayed put.

"But I guess it doesn't matter what could have been-- only what was, what is," the voice said, coming a little closer. "It's...a lot to take in, and a lot to try to make sense of."

The arms in front of me started to move and I reflexively turned my head aside, presenting a cheek. At first his arms stopped moving, but after a brief moment they'd started once again. I pressed my eyes closed to brace myself for the impact. Instead I heard a strange shuffling noise in front of me, my finally opening my eyes once more after it stopped.

Rather than a blow to the head I was met with Riv taking a knee, extending and offering both of his open palms. He looked to me, his eyes baring no malice or anything of the sort even despite all we'd gone through.

...Even...despite all I'd put him through.

I fidgeted with my hands, briefly looking at them. My fingers were full of little cuts from handling so much paper and my skin was chapped and dry. I'd worked so much, so hard, and for so long to save up all I could just to see them one last time.

...I guess I got my wish.

Carefully and slowly I placed my hands in his. Riv wrapped his hands around mine, rubbing his thumbs on the back of each of my hands.

"...If I've given a poor impression, it wasn't my intention," he said. "I don't want you to feel afraid of me and I'm sorry if I've done something to scare you this badly."

...It had been fifteen years, yet he remembered. My eyes resumed the shedding of tears, now reddened and sore from releasing so many years of pain.

He slowly stood back up onto his feet, taking a step closer. Before I could react I was tangled up in another -- and a much larger -- pair of arms. I gasped and held my breath as I was pulled into the front of my eldest son, now so much larger than I could have ever dreamed to be. My back was stiff and I was afraid to move, my mind blank and head full of static.

"...All I wanted was an explanation," Riv said from above me, holding me tight. "Even if I thought those things, I had a feeling there was more to it. The conclusions I drew didn't make sense but I was missing too many pieces."

I felt something touch the back of my head. Fingers gently pulled through my ever-messy hair, dull claws gently grazing my scalp as the fingers continued their combing. Riv held me closely, but carefully against his front with my head resting against his sternum. I could hear his heartbeat as we both stood there, my knees beginning to wobble.

"I'm so glad...to finally know, and to finally understand," he quietly said, bending just enough to rest the tip of his snout against my head.

There came one final, soft squeeze from his hug. I finally reached up my own arms to return his gesture after going without for far too long, my arms wrapped snugly around my son.

"...I forgive you, Father."

My eyes suddenly widened before they began to close, my arms around my son loosening and the world around me slowly fading to black.

***

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