That face is pure perfection.

Pretty sure she's also got a soul gem up her butt

withybog92383 said:
Pretty sure she's also got a soul gem up her butt

Just imagine, you're a bandit in Skyrim, you try to mug some guy but he just yells at you loud enough to knock you on your ass like 20 feet away. Then he scratches you with a magic sword that steals your soul and puts it in a rock the guy's got in his pocket.

In the resulting darkness you're left to contemplate what the hell just happened. Are you alive? Are you dead? How long have you been here anyway, hours, days, years even? Have the gods damned you to some unholy void for your thieving ways?
All of a sudden, your turmoil is interrupted by a light, warm and flickering like the firelight of your village's local tavern. Out of the light a hand extends toward you, has Stendarr seen fit to finally grant you mercy from this nightmare?
No, as your eyes adjust to the light you see just who the hand belongs to, it's the man that you tried to rob what seems like a lifetime ago now. Now you realize exactly what happened. Somehow, someway, he soul trapped you. You had heard of this sort of thing from overhearing some milkdrinking mages sometime ago. The concept unnerved you, all your loves and hates, your wants and desires, everything that makes you you ripped out and stored only to be used in some infernal ritual. And your body, discarded, left to rot where you were slain if you were lucky, otherwise your killer might try to hock your corpse to some necromancer and it'll become their undead plaything.
You wonder what fate will befall you now. Will he use you in some enchantment? Will he sell your gem to some college mage so they can poke and prod at you for the rest of your unnatural life in the name of research? Or will he use your energy to charge the very weapon that felled you in the first place? Everything you are and ever were burnt away in an instant as thoughtlessly as an arrow is drawn from a quiver all so some other poor fool can meet the same godless end?

The man then gives a lecherous grin and turns to some half naked lizard lady. She asks "What do you think you're gonna do with that?!" a question that's also plaguing your mind. Wordlessly he approaches her, turns her around and jams you in her ass

Fatassontheloose said:

withybog92383 said:
Pretty sure she's also got a soul gem up her butt

Just imagine, you're a bandit in Skyrim, you try to mug some guy but he just yells at you loud enough to knock you on your ass like 20 feet away. Then he scratches you with a magic sword that steals your soul and puts it in a rock the guy's got in his pocket.

In the resulting darkness you're left to contemplate what the hell just happened. Are you alive? Are you dead? How long have you been here anyway, hours, days, years even? Have the gods damned you to some unholy void for your thieving ways?
All of a sudden, your turmoil is interrupted by a light, warm and flickering like the firelight of your village's local tavern. Out of the light a hand extends toward you, has Stendarr seen fit to finally grant you mercy from this nightmare?
No, as your eyes adjust to the light you see just who the hand belongs to, it's the man that you tried to rob what seems like a lifetime ago now. Now you realize exactly what happened. Somehow, someway, he soul trapped you. You had heard of this sort of thing from overhearing some milkdrinking mages sometime ago. The concept unnerved you, all your loves and hates, your wants and desires, everything that makes you you ripped out and stored only to be used in some infernal ritual. And your body, discarded, left to rot where you were slain if you were lucky, otherwise your killer might try to hock your corpse to some necromancer and it'll become their undead plaything.
You wonder what fate will befall you now. Will he use you in some enchantment? Will he sell your gem to some college mage so they can poke and prod at you for the rest of your unnatural life in the name of research? Or will he use your energy to charge the very weapon that felled you in the first place? Everything you are and ever were burnt away in an instant as thoughtlessly as an arrow is drawn from a quiver all so some other poor fool can meet the same godless end?

The man then gives a lecherous grin and turns to some half naked lizard lady. She asks "What do you think you're gonna do with that?!" a question that's also plaguing your mind. Wordlessly he approaches her, turns her around and jams you in her ass

Um AKSHULLY that isn't a black soul gem, those are like wayyyy bigger. (Calm down internet before you hit the keyboards, it's a joke) It's probably a petty or lesser with a poor wolf or horker trapped in it

dirtyratmatt said:
That face is pure perfection.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/coughing-cat