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ExcessEmptiness said: I know this will sound weird, but consent is such a turn on. Especially the aggressive consent displayed here.
This is really not weird at all. What's weird is that one might think that it's weird, because of the sheer prevalence of material depicting non-consent and lopsided dynamics going every which way erroneously teaching us that sex is somehow always better when somebody doesn't want it. What's up with that?
DootDoot777 said: Aggressive consent? so you mean submission?
Not really the same thing. What I'm referring to would be more like what the gay community calls a "power bottom". Submission implies that you are not the one dictating the pace of the love-making. I'm more referring to when the "catcher" is the one in control, dictating the pace, and being dominant.
Lady Gaga has a song about this particular thing called "G.U.Y." or, "Girl Under You" put in the masculine context to imply that she, the receiver, is the one who's really doing the fucking.
procrastinator said: This is really not weird at all. What's weird is that one might think that it's weird, because of the sheer prevalence of material depicting non-consent and lopsided dynamics going every which way erroneously teaching us that sex is somehow always better when somebody doesn't want it. What's up with that?
Unfortunately, thats exactly why i thought it sounded weird. Everyone romanticizes the "taking of the lady, in a manly fashion" to the point where it almost feels like a kink to be turned on by a woman who just genuinely wants to fuck. I guess because that means that they are a "slut". Whatever the fuck that means.
ExcessEmptiness said: ...it almost feels like a kink to be turned on by a woman who just genuinely wants to fuck. I guess because that means that they are a "slut". Whatever the fuck that means.
This pretty much illustrates the problem. At the risk of sounding oversimplistic, guys underestimate female sexuality because letting girls dictate the terms of their own sexuality has been actively discouraged for millenia. Which has the flow-on effect of many girls not wishing to express themselves. This perpetuates the fear that if we DID let girls express themselves unconditionally, they'd all suddenly go frigid and guys the world around would go blueballed and trigger the nuclear apocalypse.
Which, I can assure you, is daft. Even the bit without the nuclear apocalypse.
procrastinator said: This pretty much illustrates the problem. At the risk of sounding oversimplistic, guys underestimate female sexuality because letting girls dictate the terms of their own sexuality has been actively discouraged for millenia. Which has the flow-on effect of many girls not wishing to express themselves. This perpetuates the fear that if we DID let girls express themselves unconditionally, they'd all suddenly go frigid and guys the world around would go blueballed and trigger the nuclear apocalypse.
Which, I can assure you, is daft. Even the bit without the nuclear apocalypse.
Indeed. But, keep in mind that it isn't just girls being told that they can't dictate their own sexuality. It guys being told that if we don't dictate theirs and our own then we are not fit to be called men. A lot of women don't realize that it is deeper than just "society does this to women". Society does this to men too.
Women's value is based on whether they are pretty and submissive. Men's value is based on whether they are "weak".
Also, inb4 deep conversations about societal gender roles happen on pony porn.
ExcessEmptiness said: A lot of women don't realize that it is deeper than just "society does this to women". Society does this to men too.
...
Also, inb4 deep conversations about societal gender roles happen on pony porn.
That's a fair point, and one that men too ought to pay special attention to, because what this really means is that we (yes, I'm a man) need to know how to actively take ownership of ourselves just as much. You'd probably be quite interested in Grayson Perry's work, which examines this aspect of what 'manliness' is.
Let's not be too obtuse. "Society" may sound like a nebulous abstract construct, but in reality it's made up of people. Which, until very recently, was generally divided between men and women (the only reason why I'll persist in using this dichotomy as much as I'm not a fan). And it's a well established and often forgotten fact that for a couple of thousand years until late last century, society as most of us know it has largely been dictated by men, which relegated women to a state of fiscal dependence that pretty much upheld the marriage institution. This is the bare truth about where the world we're living in now used to come from.
What this effectively means is that women of the past two centuries have been gradually awakening from this status quo upon discovering they have an opportunity to express themselves as people and not man's subordinate, a process naturally perceived as rocky when one's lifespan is considerably less than that. But man's response, and, to be confrontational about it, the common response around here, seems to be borne from a reactionary fear. Fear of loss of control, and the desire to control are all part of weakness IMHO, and if weakness is not very manly, there you have it. Remarkable how man handed down weakness to man.
Also for what it's worth, whenever I comment on something, it is guaranteed that I did not fap to it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Palindrome9000
MemberI know this will sound weird, but consent is such a turn on. Especially the aggressive consent displayed here.
Cubeeffect
BlockedA worth reward after seasons to seasons of hard working in a gem mine
procrastinator
MemberThis is really not weird at all. What's weird is that one might think that it's weird, because of the sheer prevalence of material depicting non-consent and lopsided dynamics going every which way erroneously teaching us that sex is somehow always better when somebody doesn't want it. What's up with that?
DootDoot777
MemberAggressive consent? so you mean submission?
Palindrome9000
MemberNot really the same thing. What I'm referring to would be more like what the gay community calls a "power bottom". Submission implies that you are not the one dictating the pace of the love-making. I'm more referring to when the "catcher" is the one in control, dictating the pace, and being dominant.
Lady Gaga has a song about this particular thing called "G.U.Y." or, "Girl Under You" put in the masculine context to imply that she, the receiver, is the one who's really doing the fucking.
Palindrome9000
MemberUnfortunately, thats exactly why i thought it sounded weird. Everyone romanticizes the "taking of the lady, in a manly fashion" to the point where it almost feels like a kink to be turned on by a woman who just genuinely wants to fuck. I guess because that means that they are a "slut". Whatever the fuck that means.
procrastinator
MemberThis pretty much illustrates the problem. At the risk of sounding oversimplistic, guys underestimate female sexuality because letting girls dictate the terms of their own sexuality has been actively discouraged for millenia. Which has the flow-on effect of many girls not wishing to express themselves. This perpetuates the fear that if we DID let girls express themselves unconditionally, they'd all suddenly go frigid and guys the world around would go blueballed and trigger the nuclear apocalypse.
Which, I can assure you, is daft. Even the bit without the nuclear apocalypse.
Palindrome9000
MemberIndeed. But, keep in mind that it isn't just girls being told that they can't dictate their own sexuality. It guys being told that if we don't dictate theirs and our own then we are not fit to be called men. A lot of women don't realize that it is deeper than just "society does this to women". Society does this to men too.
Women's value is based on whether they are pretty and submissive. Men's value is based on whether they are "weak".
Also, inb4 deep conversations about societal gender roles happen on pony porn.
ForgedHonor
MemberThe dialogue doesn't seem to match the image in my personal opinion.
procrastinator
MemberThat's a fair point, and one that men too ought to pay special attention to, because what this really means is that we (yes, I'm a man) need to know how to actively take ownership of ourselves just as much. You'd probably be quite interested in Grayson Perry's work, which examines this aspect of what 'manliness' is.
Let's not be too obtuse. "Society" may sound like a nebulous abstract construct, but in reality it's made up of people. Which, until very recently, was generally divided between men and women (the only reason why I'll persist in using this dichotomy as much as I'm not a fan). And it's a well established and often forgotten fact that for a couple of thousand years until late last century, society as most of us know it has largely been dictated by men, which relegated women to a state of fiscal dependence that pretty much upheld the marriage institution. This is the bare truth about where the world we're living in now used to come from.
What this effectively means is that women of the past two centuries have been gradually awakening from this status quo upon discovering they have an opportunity to express themselves as people and not man's subordinate, a process naturally perceived as rocky when one's lifespan is considerably less than that. But man's response, and, to be confrontational about it, the common response around here, seems to be borne from a reactionary fear. Fear of loss of control, and the desire to control are all part of weakness IMHO, and if weakness is not very manly, there you have it. Remarkable how man handed down weakness to man.
Also for what it's worth, whenever I comment on something, it is guaranteed that I did not fap to it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Supuhstar
MemberThere should be an emphatic_consent tag
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