Long Haul, the brown earth pony stallion with a blonde mane, pushed the cart on squeaking wheels down the halls to the elevator. He pressed the steel button marked "M" and the doors slid shut ever so gently. The elevator hummed as it descended downward. He cast a glance at the cart and the black leather body bag that rested upon it.

By the shape, he assumed the pony occupying it to be an adult mare. Unicorn. Retrieved from the site of a gruesome murder just a short ways from Carousel Boutique.

Ding!

The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. He pushed the cart through the swinging doorway to the morgue. The coroner, Emerald Luster -a white unicorn with an aqua mane tied in a ponytail- levitated the body bag from the cart onto the table.

"How messed up is this one?" she asked.

"They say they found her crucified, head-to-hoof in her own blood." he said casually.

Emerald Luster rolled her eyes. "Great, now my day is complete..." she complained.

"Well hey, if it's complete at least it can't get any worse, right?" the stallion asked, with a smirk.

Emerald Luster sarcastically laughed and turned to her tools, ensuring they were all present and accounted for. The doctor headed back out through the door and to the elevator.

Emerald Luster did not have the best day. She was unforgiveably late to work again due to a heated arguement with her stallion friend whom she caught in bed with some blonde pegasi strumpet. It was difficult for the mare to function with a broken heart, but when one's profession has them see so many corpses a day, many tend to expect a pony to be tough as nails.

The corpses she worked on were usually in tact... usually. Ponyville did have it's fair share of accidents, but gruesome murders were... quite rare. Ponyville wasn't Las Pegasus or Manehattan. Now the morticians there could tell you horrific tales of mutilated murder victims they see on occassion, but still; Occasionally was enough.

Emerald Luster turned back to the body bag. Aside from the faint hum of the lights, all was silent. "Okay..." she thought. "Time to see how messed up this broad is..." she took a deep breath and slowly unzipped the bag...

"What the fuck?"

Inside the body bag was not the mutilated horrorshow she was expecting. Quite opposite, actually: It was a white unicorn mare with a royal purple mane, blue eyeshadow, and a peculiar bra and panties number. The corpse was clutching a black rose to her perky breasts. Emerald Luster was puzzled to say the least. Ponyville saw a lot of gruesome accidents and deaths by disease and old age, but of all the cadavers that came in, this one was pristine... fabulous.

... sexy even...

"Oh great..." Emerald Luster mumbled "On top of everything else, I'm fucked up." That asshole stallion said nothing could get worse with the day being complete. Obivously her day wasn't complete if she was now entertaining thoughts of necrophilia. At least this one wouldn't leave... Fuck it. She began to look about to see if the mare had any ID on her...

Nothing... of course not. Where would she keep any ID, in her panties?

The whole thing proved too bizzare for the coroner, and she just leaned on the table, looking at the corpse's unmoving, perfect face.

"This is some kind of strange dream..." she reasoned.

She hoped this was a dream, and not a stress induced hallucination. The first would be easier to take: she'd just wake up and see about improving her love life with her stallion friend. The second would only be the beginning of her descent into total insanity. Of course if this was real, then she could just do an autopsy on this mare and try to get her life back on track.

"Please just be a dream..." she whimpered to herself.

Time seemingly stopped. Minutes were going by, but to the beleagured coroner, they seemed like whole days.... then suddenly...

The corpse's eyes opened, revealing crimson irises that stared right into Emerald Luster's green eyes. The lips curled into a toothy grin... with fangs. Emerald Luster recoiled in sheer horror, knocking her tools off the counter behind her, almost falling to the floor. The corpse rose, slipping out of the body bag gracefully and standing on her own hooves before her, not breaking her eye contact.

"It's not, darling, it's really not..." the corpse said.