Fenrick said:
Yes, that is definitely a misguided thing to do. However, don't confuse ignorance with malice. The people who do those things might even think they're being respectful. It is one thing to tell them they are wrong. That is fair enough. It is another to try to start a public shaming campaign or call them horrible people, which seems like all-too-common of a reaction.
I don't know, it seems like a valid reaction when they absolutely refuse to change their behavior in spite of knowing how disrespectful they're being, which is more often than not the case when people actually go as far as to get pissy about it. People shouldn't open with blasting people as being horrible, you're right, but that's not all that happens.
Fenrick said:
And the way to fix that isn't to just lash out at people who have had nothing to do with it. It doesn't matter how mean to another somebody was, there is no guilt by association here.
I mean if people go out of their way to avoid confronting their friends and family over bigotry in order to 'be nice' and 'avoid making waves' then they are, in fact, guilty. They may not be actively bigoted, but they're adding to the conception that it's okay to be a bigot. Passive bigotry is, in fact, a thing, and it's dangerous because it's what allows things to get to the point where any one person thinks the active bigotry is okay.
I'm not saying that makes lashing out at people who have nothing to do with anything okay. What I AM saying is that when you're surrounded by this much bullshit and by this many people who literally don't give a damn about you no matter how or how often or how well or how gently you explain shit, it can be difficult to tell the difference between malice and genuinely not knowing.
Updated by anonymous